Denouement

Anguis in herba

2007-08-08T14:49:00.000+09:30

One may ask, do I have a thing with Latin words and phrases? The answer is ... etiam crimen ut tutela! Maybe this is due to my obssession with the Asterix comic series when I was very young http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asterix and http://gb.asterix.com/ or maybe I've watch one too many horror flicks (where the exorcism rites are always done in Latin) or maybe I've stuck my nose between the encyclopedia pages for too long (et tu Brute..? sounds so cool at that time and still are ) who knows...?? You can try this site ---> http://www.translation-guide.com/free_online_translators.php?from=English&to=Latin to translate the all the phrases that I've been using. I don't know but Latin phrases and words have a nice ring to it, as if whatever that you're saying sounds very important and profound. I just like the sound of it. At least you'll learn something out of the rubbish I churned out every other day... The Internet has lots of great tools to help you with languages and I always surf for more. Anyway, back to the title... I'm so pissed off!! My stuff was supposed to be loaded and transported here, to Melaka on Tuesday 7th August. But Lo and Behold! UKWho got a wind of it and told everyone to stop everything and like puppets on a string they did. Now my stuff is in limbo, have to wait when the transport is free then only they can send it to me. Well score one for him. Is he trying to prove that he have the power to control everything? Let him think that way... then BAM!! I'm gonna hit him where it's gonna hurt him the most... smack in the middle of his groin!! Hopes he becomes impotent and suffers for a long2 time. Serves him right!! He deserves worse that that! He is the most despicable human being that I've ever encountered... worst that Lord Voldermort (not that I've met him, but UKWho is much more Eviler=Evil+Giler than the Dark Lord himself) or Darth Vader. Both of them never pretend that they're one of the good guys unlike UKWho always try to project a Mr. Clean image and hide behind religion (like someone we all know...). If only you know what he did and still trying to do to me and my kids (can't reveal here for legal reasons) you would agree with me. I'm almost scared to think of what other Machiavellian and evil plans he had planned for me, but bring it on! As I believe God is Great and what goes around comes around and just wait for the payment that is due to you... including the compounded interests...

Caveo of Taedium Mens

2007-08-08T12:24:00.000+09:30

WANTED

Male: 33-40 years old
Height: 170-185cm
Must have's: single, intelligence, love kids, kindness, adventurous, responsibility, patience, money, sense of humour, health, sane mind, will not try to kill me if ever we fell out of love
Doesn't hurt if he looks like Oh Ji Ho (from the series Couple or Trouble and Autumn Shower) and an expatriate.

This is what happens when you're bored shitless. Lucky I managed to stop myself from making the list too long. Hahaha... Last weekend I, Izz, Aish, Iwan and Sid went to Butterworth to sort out my stuff there. From Melaka we pushed off at 4 something am and arrived in Butterworth at 10 something am. Go over Nora's house to get the house keys and went to the house. Managed to sort out my stuff by 340 pm. Went back to Nora's house, take shower, rest, eat (Nora made Laksa Sarawak- special request pour moi) and chitchat (Kak Mega, Kak Aishah, Datin Nani, Vina, Lynette were among the guests). After Maghrib we went to Queensbay Mall in Penang. What a letdown! The place from outside was quite impressive, with an amusement park and what not. But inside... hmm. Maybe we're jaded. The layout inside wasn't interesting (in fact it was rather dull) and the place was closing by 10pm (even though it was written 1030pm on the signposts) and this is on a Saturday nite...! They only have ONE parking ticket machine (for such a huge place... it's insane!!) and it is located on the third floor. They have only one lift for each court (North, South and Centre) and they were rather small (6 adults 2 kids and a stroller--- a very, very tight squeeze) and only one outlet for exit (trying too hard to cut cost meh...?) The trip was a bust. Should have gone and have Char Kue Tiaw instead. Frust betul... Reached Nora's house at 1130pm. The rest of the crew slept while I continued chitchatting with the ladies until 4am. Woke up at 630am packed our stuff and got the kids ready. Met Nadia before we took off. Thank you so much Nora for your hospitality. I really appreciate it. I feel like you're part of my family. (Sendiri muka tak malu mengaku sedara... huhuhu) We were dead tired when we reached Melaka. Lucky the kids were ok. Hmmm.... one tick on the list. Many more to go. Have to keep my fingers crossed. And by the way... I'm serious about the Ad above. Give me a call if you know someone that fits the bill or if you are the one I'm looking for. Seriously...

New Beginings...

2007-07-31T12:23:00.000+09:30

It has been ages since I last wrote in this Blog. So many stuff to do and sort out. How I managed to get me and my kids' ass back safely home in Malaysia is truly by the grace of god. Alhamdulillah... score one for me. We touched down in Malaysia at 625am 15th July 2007. Total weight of my checked-in luggage was 113kg (I had 6 of them!), not to mention 4 hand-carried luggage. All FOC! I was quite worried at the check-in counter as Aish doesn't have a seat so he was not eligible for any luggage... so that means I could only have 4 check-in lugagge and a total weight of 60kg! Hehehe... lucky me and thank you god... Mak, ayah, Bilah, Uki, Iwan, Andi, Ira n Atan were there to pick us up. We went straight to Nilai R&R to have breakfast (a proper Teh Tarik at last!) and then straight to KLCC for Aquaria. Some people might say we're mad cause right after an 8 hour long haul trip we're going for another trip. But hey... u need to be spontaneous and that was all good with me. The kids had a good sleep on the aircraft. I'm not much a sleeper anyway so... ok lah. It was still early so we hung around KLCC. Kinokuniya was opened at 1030 so we went in and 'lepak' there. At 1100 we went to Aquaria. The tickets were quiet steep but it was all worth it. Thank you to our main sponsor, who else... mak la... The place look well maintained and there are variety of water creatures on display. Only thing was the place is a bit too small if u ask me. When there's a crowd I felt like I couldn't breathe sometimes... The things I love most are the Green Turtle and the Jellyfish! Sooo cuteee!!! Had lunch at Kenny Rogers. We reached home about 430pm. Had dinner at a new place in Ayer Keroh. The place was not worth mentioning because the food was horibble and the service was lousy!! Swear to God! Never in my life had I experience something like that. Simply teribble! On Monday morning we received bad news. My father's older sister - Mak Cha', passed away due to her asthma. So we packed our stuff and rushed to Taiping for her funeral. After the burial, ayah, Idek n me rushed to Penang to get my car from my in-laws house. I was there for less than 5 minutes. No questions were asked on why I was back home early, how are the kids etc... Zero, nil, nada. So no love there, I got the message. No offense was taken. The rest of the week was a whirlwind of food, shopping, rest and more food. Aaahhhh..... what a bliss to live in Malaysia, the food heaven.

Happy Birthday My Sweetheart!!!

2007-06-23T23:18:00.000+09:30

Phew..! What a week... This past week has been a whirlwind for me. Monday - went to Marion's house to make sushi and print birthday invitations. Sushi session was hilarious! Good fun there. Pass invitations out, invite people by phone. Tuesday - went to Kambah Adventure park with Ana and the kids. Everybody went on the flying fox! It was freezing cold but we had fun... Chapek, said Ana. Bought lunch at Kingsley - fried chicken. Came back, Rosh was already home from his trip to Indonesia. Bla,bla,bla... cooked lunch (since he told me he was supposed to arrived later in the evening I did not buy him anything for lunch). He did not get any souvenirs for us because he was 'swamped' with too much work and travelling. Yeah right...! I know he did a lot of work but it has nothing to do with his studying! Wednesday, Rosh took us out for dinner at Thai Spices in Westfield Woden. I think that's the best place to get Thai food here. The food is superb! Thursday, took the car and went to Mawson with Ana to get some meat and stuff from the Asian Store. Later we went to Hyperdome Tuggeranong to pick up Ana's ring. Friday went out with Corinne to buy birthday cakes and goodies for the kids. Later, pick up the chairs and tables from Corinne's house. Marion came over with chairs, deep fryer plus cooking utensils and helped blowing the balloons. Corrine said that UKWho should be blowing all the balloons because he has lots of hot air! Hahaha.... Ana and Ariffin sent their chairs. Kak Kamina the DA's wife sent over the food warmers and more chairs. Things were shaping up pretty well. I was quite worried as I've a total of 32 adults and 36 kids on the guest list. Arggghhh....!!! What have I put myself into...? I must be mad! And I had to do everything by myself. Start arranging the chairs and balloons. Put up all the decorations and goodies. Cooked dinner and the sauce for tomorrow. Mopped the floor, scrubbed the kitchen and toilets etc.... He was nowhere to be seen. Slept at 1.30am and felt dead tired. Woke up at 7am. Vacuumed the house, fix breakfast, cleaned up the kids yada, yada, yada.... He complained that there would be too many people and the house is going to be messy and dirty. As if he has been doing all the dirty work. Bla, bla, bla... non stop. He managed to find fault with everything. Then out of nowhere he called me up to the living room to ask me something. "So what do you plan to do for the party? I mean the games and stuff for the kids? What are the adults going to do then? I don't want this party to be a cockup..." OMG!!! I don't believe it! He has the audacity to ask me what am I going to do so that the party will not be a disaster...? Hello... who has been running around sorting out things that he should be doing...? Who does he think he is? My supervisor? But I'm still able to stay cool and I told him I'll be handling the 'adults', Marion and Corinne will be in charge of the games and kids. I asked him why didn't he helped me out in preparing the party? He said since I was the one so 'eager' to have this big blowout so I should do it. He already gave the money so... and he already lost 1 whole day worth of work because he had to entertain the guest too. Grrr.....!!! Lucky this is the last time I'm going to do anything with him as a family. Argghhh!!! Can't wait to get out of his face... Kak Sal and Kak Yati arrived at 11am. They helped making the sandwiches. Marion and Kye came soon after. We discussed the games that we're going to organise. We'll have 4 main games (throw the hoop on the monkey, pin the nose on the clown, a scavenger hunt and statues) and the climax is the Pinata'. Marion said she'll add more games if needed or if there were extra time. Kak Sal and Kak Yati said they'll handle all kitchen work and I'll just have to handle the guest. The menu for the day was - Fried Macaroni, Sweet Chilli Tuna Sandwich, Cucur Badak, Samosa (both ordered from Kak Sal) and Chicken Gojones. We have 3 cakes, the birthday cake and 2 chocolate cakes (all courtesy of Woolworth, hehehe...) People started to arrive around 2pm. Started the games at 2.30pm. Marion is a natural with kids. She had all of them around her little finger. Thank god for her! Corinne was great too. The house was getting packed and everybody mingled around. Conversations and food flowed smoothly. The kids were having a blast from where I was looking. Danish can't stop grinning like a Cheshire cat and squealing with delight. "Mak all my friends are here. I'm going to play games with them and with cool prizes!" The party was going great! 2 thumbs up fo all my party helpers. Then the moment came... time to smash the Pinata'! Everybody had a go at it and when it finally smashed open... Wham! The kids were all over the place trying to get all the toys and goodies. After that we have the cake cutting 'ceremony' and the party goes on. All this while, the 'actual' Birthday Boy was sleeping soundly in the bedroom from 11am and didn't wake up until when the party was almost over. He woke up s 4.15pm and joined the party. Better late than never! By 5 pm the house is almost empty. Marion and Corrine helped to clear all the 'mess'. What would I do without these 2 angels... By 7 pm the party was officially over. I was dead on my feet and had migraine but exteremely happy because everything went exceptionally well considering all the obstacles that I have to went through, but with help from friends (and all those years in BAKAT was a good practice, hahaha...) the party was a smash! Alhamdulilah.... Happy Birthday Aish, my love, hopefully more happy times like this will come our way....

My COMICal Romance...

2007-06-19T19:25:00.000+09:30

My first love was with Alfred E. Neuman, the boy with misaligned eyes, a gap-toothed smile and the perennial question "What, me worry?"...I was head over heels in love with... MAD magazine (http://www.dccomics.com/mad/?action=about, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_Magazine) My father used to collect MAD magazines and bound them together into these thick volumes. I don't know where they're now, but I used to spend hours and hours flicking through the pages for Antonio Prohías's wordless "Spy vs. Spy", Dave Berg's "The Lighter Side of..." which often satirized the suburban lifestyle, capitalism and the generation gap. Then there was Don Martin gags. Don Martin, billed as "Mad's Maddest Artist", drew gag cartoons, generally one page but sometimes longer, featuring lumpen characters with apparently hinged feet. Martin's absurd sight gags were frequently punctuated by an array of bizarre onomatopoeic sound effects such as GLORK, PATWANG-FWEEE, or GAZOWNT-GAZIKKA, coined by Martin himself (or ghost writer Don Edwing). A MAD look at... by Sergio Aragonés (Groo.. does it ring a bell now?) is notable for its silence. He uses virtually no words; speech balloons, when they occur at all, will merely feature a drawing of whatever is being discussed. And lastly... the Mad fold-ins by Al Jaffee.

A question would be asked, often of a topical nature, which apparently was illustrated by a picture taking up the bulk of the page. But when the page was folded inwards, the inner and outer fourth of the picture combined to reveal a surprising answer in both picture and words. MAD is still around but I like the older version better. Maybe I've become too jaded or that I like Ol' Skool style. MAD sparks my interest in comics. I used to collect comics (X-Men, Gen13, Spawn etc and I have some collectors issues - aluminium and gold foil covers) but I've stopped due to unforeseen circumstances. Might resume in the future... I love to draw but alas I can only do good copies. I can't transfer my ideas down to paper. I call myself a poseur, but actually you can make good money doing this.... ie Greg Land incident. However, I know I have the gift of gab but it would be nice if I could draw or illustrate something with it to make it stand out more. Then I'd die happy..... hahaha...

Hail Hitler...!

2007-06-16T20:28:00.000+09:30

Semalam budak kenit 2 org tu mengigau teruk. Aish gelak2 cakap "Ek, EK maak ek.." yg si Izz plak bercakap pasal katun apa ntah siap tendang2 aku lagi. Aku suspek ni mesti penyakit si Iwan turun kat anak aku ni... Rasanya Iwan la Raja Mengigau ni. Kalau aku ceta kat blog aku ni abih la saham ko Wan... jgn lepas ni ko debush aku cukup hehehe... Iwan ni kalau mengigau dahsat wooo....siap boleh lawan2 cakap lagi tu... Macam org menurun. Kita org selalu cakap kalau bole mintak no. ekor kan best! Ada 2 insiden yg aku ingat ssgt. Satu yang Hail Hitler! dan yg satu lagi main tembak2 ala2 koboi tu. Hmmm... yg Hail Hitler tu masa tu Iwan kecik2 lagi kot belum akil baligh lagi la time tu. Jadi tak la malu sangat ek?Dia tido lepas tu bangun jalan depan kita org, ambik kerusi, bukak seluar, naik atas kerusi, angkat tangan macam askar jarman salute tu and 'pancut' dari atas kerusi tu. Lepas tu dia turun kerusi, pakai balik seluar terus selamber je sambung tido. Yang aksi koboi tu, kita org tgh tgk TV, dia biasala tgh tido baru la bole mengigau kan... So tiba2 dia melompat bangun dari dari tido buat aksyen macam koboi pegang pistol tu and "Peng!Pepeng!" kat kita org lps tu dia lari p amek kusyen besar n nyorok belakang kusyen tu n main tembak2 sejibik macam si Labu Labi mengigau tu. After a few shots terus dia baring kat kusyen tu n sambung tido balik.... Memang pelik betul.... Nasib baik da tua2 ni tak der ngigau lagi ek Wan.... tido mati sebab penat sangat keje. Ke ada lagi cuma aku jer yg tak tau.....? Huhuhu... Sori ye Wan pecah tembelang ko.....

Energy Vampires

2007-06-14T14:57:00.000+09:30

Went to Spotlight http://spotlight.com.au/ in Queanbeyan last Monday with Marion. Izz n Aish tagged along. Kye and Natalya stayed at home with Craig as it was a public holiday - The Queen's Birthday. Nothing much to see during the holiday. They only had a fireworks show on Sunday nite and that was it. I asked Marion "So what happens during the Queen's Birthday?" "Uh... long weekends...?" Marion said they don't feel any allegiance towards the Queen. Hmmm... Anyway, Spotlight is a one stop shop for all your fabric, craft and home interiors supply. For me it's heaven. I went there to get supplies for Izz n Aish's upcoming birthday bash. Hohoho... big mistake! I end up buying other stuff too! A sushi maker and something that I've been looking for ages - a cupcake stand! Yeay! Finally! Isn't it gorgeous? Got him a Pinata', some party games, party favors, birthday banner, some transport themed tablecloths and decorations. I just love this place. Marion sent us home. That night, Rosh called from Jakarta. He said not to call him as his HP has no coverage in Indonesia. Right now he was calling me using a public phone. How thick did he think I am? As if Indonesia is on another planet!?? He asked about the kids and then said he got to go and get ready for dinner that nite. Ok, that was surreal.... I think the conversation lasted less than 2 minutes. I've heard Izz burped longer than that. Whatever.... The next day we went to Westfield Belconnen to go to Toys R Us. Izz wanted a Magnetix Spiderman3 Vehicle toy. Description - Be the Amazing Spider-Man - slip into the form of a timeless superhero with superhuman strength.Build your own magnetic hero and build him a vehicle to match. He saw the advertisement on TV and wanted one. I think it's an educational toy so I agreed to get him one. Bought something for Aish too. It's a Fisher-Price set of Learning Keys. That'll keep him busy in the aircraft on the way back home to Malaysia. I still feel my emotions is dragging me down. Although the atmosphere is calmer when he is away but the storm is still raging inside my heart. I don't know whether it's because I'm in denial (I still love him despite all the protest, curse and swearing) or because of my pent-up feelings. Or maybe it's just a simple case of loneliness. My brain is a mosh pit. The longer I stay here the more demented I'll be. I still burst into tears for no apparent reasons especially if I'm not doing anything. All these negative thoughts keep flooding my brain. I feel like I've lost a part of my soul and I can't retrieve it back no matter what I do. It's like there's a black hole right at the core of my being and it's sucking away all my energy. I can't feel happiness or joy. The only thing that I can do right now is to keep everything at bay, but I don't know how long I can keep it there. Ya Allah, show me mercy and give me strength. I don't want to end up being bitter and full of hatred. I don't want to end up sad and alone.... Dum spiro, spero (While I breathe, I hope - Cicero) Today I went to Westfield Woden with Ana. There was supposed to be a Mid Year sale at Big W but it was just a normal sale. Everything was marked down by AUD1-2 only. What a let down. Went to Angus & Coote Bookstore. Saw this book Positive Energy by Judith Orloff. The excerpt on the back cover of the book drew me. How do you know if you’ve encountered an energy vampire? “The tip-off is that even after a brief contact you leave feeling worse, but he or she seems more alive.” This is a different experience than just having “bad chemistry” with another person and not enjoying the interaction. When an energy vampire is present, you’ll feel depleted of energy and vitality afterwards.The ideas Dr. Orloff presents about energy vampires intrigues me, now I know why I feel drained most of the days... I've been living with a vampire.... Energy Vampire #1 is the Sob Sister. This person is a whiner, a perpetual victim, who loves a captive audience and can talk for hours about his problems. If you offer a solution, he gives a “Yes, but” answer that gives an excuse for why your solution won’t work in his case. Dr. Orloff says, “You might find yourself listening for hours, hearing the same complaints over and over. He ends up renewed. You’re exhausted.” Energy Vampire #2 is the Blamer. This person makes you feel guilty, berates you, and casts negativity into your energy field. He’s more overtly angry than the Sob Sister, and he uses accusation to drain you. Dr. Orloff says, “You walk away feeling knifed, that you haven’t lived up to expectations, are somehow defective.” One of the statements a Blamer might make is “If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be in this mess” or “It’s your fault that I’m on drugs.” It takes agility and planning to deflect a blamer’s tactics. Energy Vampire #3 is the Constant Talker or Joke-Teller. This person always demands center stage and has absolutely no interest in what you’re feeling. At first, he (or she) might seem entertaining, but you soon begin to fade after non-stop stories, jokes, and comments, and the incessant self-focus. According to Dr. Orloff, these energy vampires “grind our energy field down like a relentless yippy Chihuahua who badly needs a walk.” It’s impossible to sneak a word in edge-wise, and they love to trap you in conversation where it’s hard to break away. Energy Vampire #4 is the Fixer-Upper. There are two types. The second type of fixer-upper is, according to Dr. Orloff, “someone who you perceive needs an overhaul, and you take him on as a project.” What you don’t realize is that he isn’t really interested in changing. You may even put your life on hold to help him “realize his potential,” but in spite of all your efforts, it never happens. Ultimately, it’s up to you to set your priorities and then take the appropriate action to keep focused on your life goals and values. And that means protecting yourself from energy vampires so that you can have the energy you need to thrive. I prefer to put a stake to his heart. That will solve all of my problems. Wishful thinking Yani....

Tekak Al Buaya...

2007-06-11T22:29:00.000+09:30

Kan aku dah kata... berat aku turun balik. Sekarang berat aku 44kg balik. Hmmm... rasanya biar je la dulu, balik nanti mungkin boleh naik balik kot. Takut naik secara janjang geometri je kang... susah pulak, hahaha. Cakap pasal makan ni, memang aku suka makan. Sapa yang tak suka makan ek..? Yang anorexsia tu aku tak paham laa... disease of the privilaged. Mungkin the best remedy is to send them to Dafur ke, Somalia ke... tempat yang org memang kebuluran sebab tak de benda nak makan, baru dia org nak sedar diri kot. Tapi tak tau la kan sebab from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia -Anorexia nervosa is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes an eating disorder characterized by low body weight and body image distortion with an obsessive fear of gaining weight. Individuals with anorexia often control body weight by voluntary starvation, purging, vomiting, excessive exercise, or other weight control measures, such as diet pills or diuretic drugs. It primarily affects adolescent females in the Western world. Anorexia nervosa is a complex condition, involving psychological, neurobiological, and sociological components. So susah nak cakap pasal benda ni sebab kita tak kena kan. Anyway, coming back to the topic kali ni aku nak ceta pasal one of my passion iaitu makan. Jangan terkejut yea. Family aku ni ada satu jenis genetic disorder. Almost all anak2 Pak Cik Tapa ni masa kecik2 (ada yg sampai sekarang ada lagi penyakit ni... huhuhu) kalau makan luar mesti kena order at least 2 jenis dish sorang. Andi je kot yg aku rasa tak kena 'penyakit' ni. Kalau tengok kita orang satu family makan kat kedai makan takut ooo.... penuh sepenuh-penuhnya meja tu. Apa taknya, kita anak beranak je dah 10 orang. Sekarang ni lagi la panjang meja tu sebab Ira ngan Andi dah kawin. Aku dulu kalau order mesti satu berat (nasi) dan satu ringan (mee/sup/sate/udang goreng etc) favourite combination - nasi daging merah n sup ekor/mee bandung/mee hailam/tom yam campur. Air lak air limau ais/longan/ABC Special/mata kucing/kelapa. Sate kalau yg sedap tu aku boleh tibai sampai 40 cucuk sorang2. Bilah yg kudut tu pun bole tahan, dulu suka sangat nasi pattaya ngan claypot noodle. Idek boleh telan roti canai sampai 8 keping sekali jalan. Uki apa2 yg ada ayam, jadik. Last sekali taun lepas, kita org makan kat Nando's dia lanyak 1 1/4 chicken sorang2 dia jer, tu tak masuk side dishes lagi tu, sampai dianugerahkan title "Uki the Chicken Slayer". Kalau dia lalu depan ayam mesti ayam tu lari sebab dia ada aura Chicken Slayer tu... hahaha. Acik jangan cakap la... sume jalan... Takpe acik, time bole makan makan ek, nanti dah sakit baru menyesal kan... Iwan tu cerewet "sikit" tapi kalau tempat yg dia suka tu hmmm.... banyak la yg diorder nya. Selalunya lps kita org dah order baru la ayah order dia nyer sebab dia nak lain dr kita org - nak yg spesel la kononnya. Last2 dpt kat kita org gak hahaha.... Lepas tu ayah nye unofficial job jd tong sampah @ Majlis Perbandaran - tukang perabih mana2 makanan yg tak abih. Jawatan tu skang ni aku rasa dipangku oleh Uki n Idek. Mak lak cepat gabra, dia order apa yg dia nak tp nanti bila tgk kitaorg nye macam sedap nanti kena tukar dgn dia nya lak. Paksa rela tukar, mak nye pasal. Nasib baik la kita suma ni tekak al buaya.... huhuhu..... Tak sabar rasanya nak balik Malaysia, nak2 Penang, walaupun tu tempat asal org yg aku plg benci dlm dunia skang ni, tak dpt nak dinafikan Penang memang syurga makanan next to KL. Hmmm... gemok la aku balik ni nanti....

Non Compos Mentis....

2007-06-09T22:15:00.000+09:30

Sometimes I wonder whether things would be easier if I have a bad streak in me ie if I smoked/drink/do drugs etc. Those things could easily numb my pain or so they said. I wouldn't know because those things are off limits for me. But then I wouldn't learn anything from what has happened because I'd be so stoned trying to drown all my sorrows. However, right now I'm 100% sober and yet my mind and emotions are in a wreck. I don't know whether the heavy feelings in my heart is sadness/ anger/ guilt/ helplessness/ hopelessness/ unworthiness ... what? Everytime when I look at my kids I burst into tears for no reason. Nas and Jeyt said 'it must be my time of the month'. Yeah.. that could be one of the reason since I've been having my PMS but the blood is yet to spill. I'm getting crankier every minute... But the real reason I think is because I've controlled too much of my emotions... I'm dead - emotionally mind you... not physically. I've become a zombie. All my feelings overwhelms each other that they meshed and becomes one feeling that could not point my finger to what it is. Now I just stick to my plan to reach my goal - make him pay! After this I will need some time alone to sort out my feelings. I need to put everything back in perspective. Look into the future and stop dwelling in the past. That's the reason why I wrote this blog. To document all my upheavals and temporary insanity. Blogging has been very cathartic for me and somehow I hope those I love understands what I'm going through or why I did something in a certain way. Even though the things that I wrote here is just the tip of the iceberg (have to comply to U not 18SX) it helps just to get it off your chest, because I'm so lonely here. I want to be angry but I can't. I want to be sad but I can't. I want to run away but I can't. Have to think of the kids and my future. Tried to hold the smile on my face for as long as I could but I can feel my face cracking. I need to feel that I'm loved and valued, because right now... I feel like crap. I know that my kids love me but since they're kids, they do get on my nerves sometimes. And they don't know how to express that feelings yet. My friends and family are so far away... Sigh... Thanks guys for trying to lift up my spirits. I know it's not an easy task but please do it anyway... hehehe. Everytime that we keep in touch keeps me sane. I'm lucky to have Corinne and Marion here because they are my source of comfort. There have been days when I would just go over their place for a hug or just sit quietly in a corner of their sofa staring at nothing and then when I feel better I'll go home. Every moment that I'm here is pure torture because each time I look at UKWho I have to pull the reins on my feelings. His face alone bring forth such a multitude of hatred that I could easily put a knife in his chest, twist it and rip it down to his gut. Imagine how much self control I had to exert in order not to do that. That's why I feel like only my body is here but my mind is somewhere else. Que sera sera....

Don't count the days, make the days count...

2007-06-09T00:12:00.000+09:30

Today is the day... he's going off to another overseas trip. This time it's to Indonesia for 10 days. His taxi arrived at 840 am. Guess what...? The oddest thing happened. The taxi driver found his lost set of keys! He saw something shining on the ground near the roundabout at our house; stop, saw the keys, pick it up and went to ask my husband about it. Rosh said I must be blind not to be able to see it when I use the path everyday to send Izz to school. I told him I was too busy monitoring the kids and don't have time to scrutinize everything that is along the way. Grrrr...! Took Izz to school, went home, took the car and went to Hyperdome Tuggeranong to take the camera back. Met Marion at K-Mart. She was by herself... freedom! We talked for a while (told her I'll drop by her house later this afternoon) and then went our separate ways. Pick up Ana and pick up the kids at school. Met Marion at school. She gave me the keys to her house just in case she couldn't make it home on time, because Natalya's school is having an assembly that afternoon. Send Ana and Faris home and went to Marion's house. We let ourselves in and make ourselves at home. Izz watched the CD, Aish was in the playroom and me - on the computer. Marion came back at 230pm. All of us had lunch together... what fun... Marion told me she met Corinne on the way back and about a baby sitter that charged AUD25/hr! I told Marion that's what she has to do - go solo and she can earn more than what she's earning now. Well, we talked for a while and finally Marion caved in and decided to give it a try. We created a flyer advertising her services and Marion asked me to hand it over to Corinne for 'comments'. Gave Natalya the Felicity Wishes magazine and she went over the moon! She was so excited cause she's now in the girly2, pink, fairy and frilly stuff phase... and the magazine is the epitome of girlyness. Kai was excited too but it was short lived because he doesn't want to play with a fairy doll. Craig came back to send home some chopped wood. He's now 'obsessed' with the fireplace and chopping wood. Marion snuck in the computer room with an armful of chopped wood wearing a bulky jacket and an oversized beanie saying "Yani... this is how you'll remember me forever..." Hahaha... she's a sight for sore eyes. Went home at 4pm. Izz went straight to Corinne's house. Went over her house to take Izz home. Gave Corinne the flyer we made just now and she beamed. "Marion agreed to do this?" I told her yes, she will give it a go and see how it goes. Corinne asked me whether I've made any plans during winter. I told her other than the birthday party there's no plan. She told me she wanted to take me to Perisher maybe on a day trip so that me and the kids could experience snow. She also told me she and Marion have made plans to take me and the kids to Bateman's Bay, Telstra Tower, the Parliament House and go on a steam train ride. They wanted to make our last few days here an enjoyable and memorable one. Well, I plan to enjoy it while it last... come hell or high water....

Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble

2007-06-08T21:08:00.001+09:30

Yesterday Izz and his classmates went to Questacon (http://virtual.questacon.edu.au/). They went by bus at 925am. He already went with us the last time my mom was here but still, he was psyched because he was going by bus with his friends and they were going to have a picnic there... I made him his favourite - toasted tuna sandwich. Bought Izz a maroon polar fleece jacket embroidered with Chapman Preschool for AUD20 to help with the school fundraising activities. They came back from the trip at 1pm. Everyone looked happy and animated. Izz n Faris couldn't stop talking about the trip all the way back home. Ana gave us some chocolate pudding she made for lunch. Rosh called and asked me did anyone from K-Mart called about the camera. In fact, somebody did call and told me the repair cost would be AUD233! I might as well buy a new camera with that amount of money! He practically slammed the phone on me after I told him that. I called him back and said we don't have to repair the camera and just take it back. He grunted something and hung up. I was so pi$$ed off. It has always been like this with him. Silly, simple things will set him off. Later he called me back and told me to wait outside with the camera's repair slip so that he can take it without getting out of the car. The cheek of him! I waited for him - Inside the house and he came home 20 mins later. He was grumbling about a lost receipt and why must I always 'destroy' everything that I touch. Sabar... sabar... Yani.... He checked everywhere - my room, the toilet, the laundry room... everywhere. You see, he lost his house keys 2 days ago and 'hinted' that I took it. Now he couldn't find the receipt for the camera and yes... blame it on me too. He whirlwinds through the house and knock down everything that was in his path, including Izz n Aish. Then he went back to college. Half an hour later he called and asked me n the kids to be ready by 5pm for dinner outside. Typical... after all the $#!t he put us through, he will try to bribe us with something to smooth things over. Never once did he apologized for his actions. Anyway what the hell... there will not be any next time for this kind of behaviour anymore. Good riddance! We were ready when he got home. He took us out to Lemongrass Restaurant. We ordered deep fried fish fillet in basil n peanut sauce, bean curd and vegetables in sweet chilli sauce and tom yam goong. The food was delectable, and Izz enjoyed it very much. We did not talk at all except for an occasional comments on the way Aish 'devoured' his Crispix. After dinner he sent us home and went straight out. He came back around 2am and as the previous nites before this, he slept with us, in the same room. Why...? To save the electricity bills of course! So he doesn't have to switch on the heater in his room. What... do you think he has a sudden change of heart? Yeah... right....

Hantu, Syaitan dan ....

2007-06-08T19:23:00.000+09:30

Aku dari kecik2 mmg suka sangat dengar ceta hantu nih... Tak tau la datang dari mana tapi mungkin dari ayah kot sebab dia pun suka sangat carik benda2 supernatural ni (tapi sekarang dah jumpa dah kot apa yg dicarik2 sbb aura pun dah blinding white kan... ala2 Buddha tu ek?) Lagi satu sebab time balik kampung kalau takde apa cerita yg menarik kat TV (kena lak TV Tok Wan yg cinonit, black n white tu...) ni le keje kita org. Pak Ngah, Pakcik Esa and Pak Cha' la yg selalu rajin ceta yg bukan2 ni... Dulu kan main takut lagi (tapi thrill...) kalau dengar ceta2 seram ni. Sekarang dah 'tua2' nih bila pikir2 balik, bukannya takut sangat ceta2 tu... mengarut pun ader. Time tu buku yang aku paling suka baca sekali ialah Siri Bercakap Dgn Jin oleh Tamar Jalis. Rasa2nya aku dah baca semua siri dia. Beli ada, pinjam org nye pun ada, sanggup kayuh basikal berbatu2 (chewah.. mcm iye2..) semata2 nak pinjam buku tu... Lps tu banyak la buku2 'copycat' kuar, tp tak brp ummph! Majalah Koleksi (dah defunct long time ago) byk ceta2 misteri and part yg aku plg suka ialah "Hantu2 Antarabangsa". Dia akan ceta pelbagai jenis hantu dari pelbagai negara. Yg aku ingat hantu dari Mexico yg merupakan org kerdil yg ada air kat atas kepala dia. Apa function air tu aku dah lupa. Sapa2 yg ingat bgtau la yer...? Ada simpan lagi ker majalah2 tu...? Suka ceta seram tapi aku ni bukannya berani sgt... penakut... kalau baca buku tu nanti bila part yg ada gambar2 seram tu selalunya aku lipat atau tutup ngan kertas. Lps baca kalau nak tidur, selalunya aku baling buku tu bawah katil, esoknya baru aku kutip balik. Sebelum tidur, aku kena lak baca buku lain or tgk movie sbb nak hilangkan ceta seram yg baru baca td, bkn apa... takut tak leh tido sbb teringat2 atau mengigau. Ntah apa2 kan... kelakar betul... Lps tu sebelum tido kena make sure semayang dulu, basuh muka, kaki last sekali baca ayat Kursi n doa tido. Aku ni kalo tido prefer gelap trus - pitch black, sebab tak nampak apa2. Kalau pakai nite light - samar2, byk la benda yg bkn2 melintas dlm kepala. I've got a very active imagination and I'm a very visual person. So apa yg aku baca akan memberi impak yg lebih kuat dr apa yg aku nampak sbb bila aku membaca, aku yg create sendiri the image in my head so rasa memang mcm betul2. Ni time aku tulis yg biasa2 camni pun dah rasa seram bulu tengkuk... macam ada yg menengok.....

Leap of Faith

2007-06-05T23:09:00.000+09:30

Used, Refused and Abused. That was how I used to feel about my life and myself. This black episode in my life may seem trivial to some people but to me it's inconceivable. He was supposed to be The One. He fit my requirements like a glove. Religious, family oriented, successful, motivated, smart, artistic (musically), adventurous, self reliant (able to cook, do household chores etc), nice to look at and courteous just to name a few. The fact that he was 13 years my senior and was a divorcee did not deter me because he was quite frank about it. He seemed sincere and earnest on marrying me (at least at that time!) What is past is past. Boy, was I wrong! To quote Dr.Phil - the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. But I was to blame too. I chose him under duress, now that I can think clearly. I want someone and he was available and I think the same goes for him, considering the position he was in at that time... But please keep one thing clear - I really, truly did love him (note the past tense...) The reason we were united may be superficial but the feelings were real (at least for me...) During my uni years, my mom pestered me about not having any 'boyfriends' and had said few hurtful things (that's my mom forte - blurting anything n everything that comes across her mind, mulut takde insurans langsung, but hey... nobody's perfect! And I still love you mak, warts and all hehehe...) It's not that I don't have any boyfriends, I have loads of them cause I'm more comfortable to be one of the guys... but no, I don't have any 'special boyfriend'. I don't feel like I need a boyfriend to make myself complete. I have gay/straight/gauche/lecherous/rich/poor/dashing/ugly boyfriends - all the colours under the rainbow. The fact that there are sooo many type of guys out there scares the s#!t out of me. Maybe guys my age are intimidated by me because I'm very blunt, have a mind of my own, strong willed @ stubborn (ha ha), complex (dual personality - remember the librarian and minx story?) and sharp as a whip too. I don't mince my words, act demure or ladylike and I eat like a horse (figure of speech ok..?). What you see is what you get. Guys that were seriously into me (we're talking about head over heels in love here) were always non malay/muslim guys. Malay guys just doesn't interest me and vice versa. Blame it on my grandmother's chinoise blood. Maybe I should open my options now. Hell, religion doesn't mean anything if you're not truly into it. I mean not only follow the basic rituals (pray 5 times a day, fasting in Ramadan etc) but the spiritual side of it. The purpose of us being here, why is there good and evil, why must we do all the rituals and so on. Religions should bring enlightenment to those who seek it ... not follow it blindly regardless of what they are - Islam, Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism etc. Most of the time people in power abused their power and that's how we end up with extremist/fundamentalist/terrorist etc. These people doesn't reflect the religion that they follow. In fact they are the antithesis of anything religious. Whoa there Nelly...!!! Now we're talking heavy duty stuff here...Anyway, in short, my people pleasing days are over. Now I'll do what I want to do regardless what is the norm or politically correct. Besides what is NORMAL? What you think is normal may not seem to be normal to another person. It's not that I'm being rebellious (being a rebel at 33 and with 2 kids? Are you kidding me??!! Don't you think that's a bit too late?) Nooo... I'm just tired of following somebody else's mould/definition of something. From now on I'll do whatever I want and follow my heart... within limits of course ie. go backpacking to Europe, work freelance, dress how I want to etc. But don't worry... you won't be seeing me walking down the street wearing a short mini skirt, tattoos on my butt or have nose/eyebrow piercings. If any of you see me as out of sorts have no fear, I'm just testing the waters and finding my bearings. Just stay in the shadows and give me support when I need one and share all my joys and sorrows. And by the way... the librarian in me will keep me on my toes... you can bet on that....

Murphy's Laws

2007-06-04T23:46:00.000+09:30

If anything can go wrong, it will.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw

The hidden flaw never stays hidden for long.
Mother nature is a bitch.
Things get worse under pressure.
Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
Everything goes wrong all at once.
In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong.
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.

Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer than you think.
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Every solution breeds new problems.
The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.
no matter how perfect things are made to appear, Murphy's law will take effect and screw it up.
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
The greater the value of the rug, the greater the probability that the cat will throw up on it.
You will always find something in the last place you look.
If your looking for more than one thing, you'll find the most important one last.

It is never in the last place you look. It is in the first place you look, but never discovered on the first attempt.
After you bought a replacement for something you've lost and searched for everywhere, you'll find the original.
No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
The other line always moves faster.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.
If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.
If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you,the worse you know when this will happen,and vice-versa.

Whether things can go wrong or not, it depends on your frame of reference.
If you want something bad enough, chances are you won't get it.
If you think you are doing the right thing, chances are it will back-fire in your face.
When waiting for traffic, chances are that when one lane clears the other is congested.
Just when you think things cannot get any worse, they will.
Remember the "Boomer-rang" effect; Whatever you do will always come back.
If you re-act to actions, you've acted on actions.
He who angers you controls you, there-fore you have no control over your anger.
Any time you put an item in a "safe place", it will never be seen again.
Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.
The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.
No matter how hard you try, you cannot push a string.(getting everyone in the family to the car at the same time for example)
The fish are always biting....yesterday!
You will never leave a parking space without someone in an adjacent space leaving at the same time.
The cost of the hair do is directly related to the strength of the wind.
Great ideas are never remembered and dumb statements are never forgotten.
The clothes washer/dryer will only eat one of each pair of socks.
When you see light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel will cave in.
Being dead right, won't make you any less dead.andHaving the right of way, won't make you any less dead.

Whatever you want, you can't have, what you can have, you don't want.
Whatever you want to do, is Not possible, what ever is possible for you to do, you don't want to do it.
Traffic is inversely proportional to how late you are, or are going to be.
The complexity and frustration factor is inversely proportional to how much time you have left to finish, and how important it is.
The probability of being observed is in direct proportion to the stupidity of ones action
If you go to bed with an itchy ass, you wake up with smelly fingers.
A knowledge of Murphy's Law is no help in any situation.
If you apply Murphy's Law, it will no longer be applicable.
If you say something, and stake your reputation on it, you will lose your reputation.
no matter where I go, there I am

Where patience fails, force prevails.
Any thing that can go wrong, HAS Already Gone Wrong!You just haven't been notified.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..."
If authority was mass, stupidity would be gravity.

All good things come to those who wait...but , don't wait too long or they will pass you by...like 2 ships that pass in the night...never again to return that same exact site.
If anything was worth doing, it would've already been done.
Those who know the least will always know it the loudest.

No degree of acceptance can ever change the facts.Translation: You may come to terms with being screwed, but nevertheless you're still screwed.
Things always go from bad to worse.
Beauty is only skin deep, fashion even shallower.
An expert is someone with an opinion and a word processor.
All pornography is air-brushed or computer-enhanced.
A person without values or standards can never be a hypocrite.
"We can give you a diploma, but we can't give you a brain."
The more space you have, the more junk you'll have.
Things are never as good as they are bad.
Chaos always wins, because it's better organized.
When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.
If at first you don't succeed destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

If all else fails, hit it with a big hammer.
When something goes wrong, you cannot find the solution in the instruction booklet, but someone else always does.
Everything in life is important, important things are simple, simple things are never easy.Think about it, complete the circle.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds,the pessimist fears this is true.
You will find an easy way to do it, after you've finished doing it.
The wind will always blow opposite to your hairdo.
Wind velocity increases directly with the cost of the hairdo.
The probability of the toast landing peanut-butter-side-down is directly proportionate to the cost of the carpeting.
Anyone who isn't paranoid simply isn't paying attention.
Two heads are better than one, even if one is a sheep head.

The probability of rain is inversely proportional to the size of the umbrella you carry around with you all day.
No matter how hard you try, every once in a while, something is going right.
Behind every little problem there's a larger problem, waiting for the little problem to get out of the way.
When you really need something, its either not available, or can't be found. When you don't need it, its either available, or lays around in plain sight.
Whenever you cut your finger nails, you find a need for them an hour later.

In order for something to get clean, something else must get dirty.Conclusion to the Law of Conservation of Filth:It is possible for everything to get dirty and nothing to get clean.

The file you are looking for is always at the bottom of the largest pile.
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
Common Sense Is Not So Common
Power Is Taken... Not Given
Two wrongs don't make a right. It usually takes three or four.
If the truth is in your favor no one will believe you.When things go from bad to worse, the cycle repeats.
Laws are like a spider web, in that it snares the poor and weak while the rich and powerful brake them.
Key to happiness is to be O.K. with not being O.K.
The two most abundant things in all the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Stupidity is the fundamental driving force of the Universe, which explains why stupid people always go wrong.
Every rule has an exception except the Rule of Exceptions.
If your action has a 50% possibility of being correct, you will be wrong 75% of the time.
If you plan for something to go wrong, and it doesn't go wrong, it would have been ultimately profitable for it to go wrong.
The difference between Stupidity and Genius is that Genius has its limits.
The universe is great enough for all possibilities to exist.

Those who don't take decisions never make mistakes.

The only price you pay for greatness is knowing that it can't last forever.
Anything that cant possible in a million years go wrong, will go wrong.
Anything that seems right, is putting you into a false sense of security.
If everything seems great, its already gone wrong.
The only time you're right, is when its about being wrong.
The only times something's right, is when everyone agrees its wrong.

Murphy's Law - On Love

2007-06-04T20:41:00.000+09:30

All the good ones are taken.
If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.This constant is always zero. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.
Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
Nice guys (girls) finish last.
The good ones die first.
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.
The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
Nothing improves with age.
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
Sex has no calories.
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
No sex with anyone in the same office.
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Virginity can be cured.
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
It is always the wrong time of month.
The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
Love is a hole in the heart.
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
Do it only with the best.
Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.Anonymous comment:The person who said that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...NEVER loved and lost!
Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
Never say no.
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
Love comes in spurts.
The world does not revolve on an axis.
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
Nothing improves with age.
An ex-wife/husband will always be "till death do us part".
When a man wants his wife to hear, she doesn't listen.When that same man doesn't want his wife to hear, she's all ears.
It's always easier to get a partner if you already have one.
Although it may seem like that on the outside, no one is having fun being single
If you're heart is broken, sweep up the pieces.There will always be someone who will want to put it back together.
Show me a husband who won't, I'll show you a neighbor who will
It doesn't matter HOW good it was, if you end up worrying or regretting it, it was bad sex
You get the best sex from the worst one for you
Never trust a woman who acts like you are so sexy she can't help herself but drag you to bed
No one is as fascinating as they think
If you believe a relationship can't work, but feel the need to try, it won't.You will later find out that your lack of belief caused it to fail.
The Key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.
The two thing no man can ever understand; Women and what makes all men complete damm fools over women
Love makes believers of us all.Translation: Love obscures common sense.
Being taken attracts women. Being single makes them avoid you like the plague.
If you go behind a girl you are heading to trouble.
In the eternal battle of the sexes, women are already the winners.
Celibacy is not heredity.
The hornier someone is, the less likely that it will be they have sex.Horniness is inversely related to one's chance of scoring
The man shalt not win the argument he started
The man shalt not win the argument he didn't start
If a man won an argument, it was just in his head
(for the ladies) Try and try as you might, there will still be times where men are just assholes. We can't help it and we're sorry
A love will tell you they love you endlessly. A true love will tell everyone else they love you endlessly despite the embarrassment factor
Before falling in love do take your backup, it always helps in recovery.
If a man has it he won't want it, the guy who buys it won't use it, the guy who uses it could give a shit about it, so don't give a shit and you will have it all.
Love has all the answers. But till then sex brings up some good questions.
Sex on the TV can't hurt you unless you fall off.
Anticipation is 98% of the pleasure
The amount of members of the opposite sex you pursue is inversely proportional to pretty much everything about you, such as intelligence.
If you are interested in someone, a close friend will grab their attention.This is especially likely if they:A.) Don't want the attention of said person and/orB.) Are already dating someone else
The ABC rule:If A is attracted to B, and you are attracted to C, A has a better chance with B than you do with C.B and C are often the same person.
The uglier the girl the closer she lives.
The size of the pencil is not as important as the quality of the writing.Corollaries: The quality of the writing is affected by the quality of the paper.Regardless of how well one writes, it is difficult to write at all unless there is lead in the pencil.
Marriage is the greatest leveler.
Girls are like toilet rooms. Either it is taken, or full of sh*t.
If you're having difficulties choosing between potential two girls, you'll always pick the wrong one.
If it seems perfect today, tomorrow it will end.
If a girl tell you "let's stay friends", she won't call ever again. If you call, she won't answer.
You'll always catch fever before the first date.
Never make love in your back garden. Love is blind, but not your neighbors.
Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener
When it comes to love and lost, doing the right thing always hurts.
Being honest with someone will always turn that person into an enemy.
When you're girlfriend says that you have to talk the relationship is over.
The day you decide to tell you're girlfriend you could not live without her she will leave you the next day.
You're best friend stop being you're best friend the instant a beautiful woman walks in and you both are attracted to her.
The more you want a women the least she will want you.
When she says: "Don't buy me anything expensive" and you listen, expect to be single.
Even the most beautiful woman in the world has at least one guy who is tired of her.
If you marry a beautiful girl she'll turn into her mother.If you marry a plain girl she'll turns into her dad. The mother of the man, or the father of the woman you love will invariably hate you.
The best men (or women) are always taken--or crazy.
When you take your time getting ready your date will arrive 20 min. early; when you're on time they're 30 min. late.
As soon as you break up the man (or woman) who couldn't commit TO YOU will get married.
A good women/men are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken.
Procrastination is a lot like masturbation, it feels good until you realize your just fucking yourself
Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money.Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along.
Good from far, far from good.
Any good looking person you see that isn't alone, will be accompanied by a person of the opposite sex who doesn't deserve to be with them.
The length of a relationship is directly related to how much you are attracted to your significant other best friend.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question - YES is the answer.
Romance is when common sense flies out of the window.
Being told your the nicest guy they know is the kiss of death.
Everybody is most horny when alone.
Beauty is directly proportional to the number of drinks consumed.Corollary: Beauty is also directly related to the time remaining until last call.
Love will cause people to do stupid things.
Loving someone to much may be cause for a restraining order.
If you love a person let them go. If they don't come back they weren't worth it.
Sex ends all interest.
It's only kinky the first time you do it.
To get your significant other you need: Time. Money and Energy. The sum of the three is constant. If you are short of one of them, you need quite a lot of the remaining two.If you are short of two of them, you need tremendous amount of the remaining one.If you are short of all the three, no hope. Otherwise the result is always success.
The love of your life will only want you back once you are in another serious relationship.
You don't pay for sex, you pay him/her to leave after you're done.
If you think a girl is beautiful, her boyfriend will always be there to confirm it.
Your seduction potential is inversely proportional to your willingness to seduce
The most intelligent statements will be thought of at the most inappropriate times. (i.e. during a make out session, strike up a law of Quantum physics, thus demonstrating that you are not interested in the other person).
Marriage is like a dog with a bone, he might not touch it, just doesn't let another dogs come near it.
Everything that glitters, is not WET.
Marriage is the ending of a perfectly good sex life
The difference between love and the common cold is that for the common cold there is a vaccine.
If you love her/him, s/he doesn't love you
If you are in love, he/she isn't
If you want love, you don't get it
If a beautiful wo/man loves you, it's fake
If you are happy together, wait till you are marriedThe last five laws were
It's always the quiet ones that have the two dozen corpses in their basements.
Love can be your best friend and/or your worst enemy
Wedding cake cures nymphomania.
Everyone believe in love, but wonder if it exists
You may get off on a cheap hooker but you can't get off on a cheap lawyer
The one thing that will almost certainly come between two friends is a girl
The sexier a man is, the better the chances that he is gay
Being told that someone doesn't want to date you because you're such a good friend, is like being told that you didn't get the job because you're overqualified
When you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow
the girl/boyfriend who says s/he is... isn't
You don't fall in love, you fall in a hole. The depth of the hole is proportionate to how oblivious you are of the fall.
The best way to get over a woman.....is to get over another
You always need a more patient partner no matter how patient s/he is
Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong.
Absence makes the heart go wander.
The person you want the most will end up with the person you hate the most.
If you get it, it will be taken away.
The perfection of a person is proportional to how much you love him/her.
The imperfection of a person is proportional to how much you hate him/her.
You never know that you're infertile until you try to fertilize.
In any married couple, both members think that they will be the first one to die, which means that at least 50% of the people will be wrong.
You'll think of a great line to say to someone the moment after your chance is gone.

Because I Said So...

2007-06-04T16:25:00.000+09:30

Today was the day…our girl’s day out! Prepared breakfast for Izz n myself. Rosh already had his and went out for a jog. Get all the kids ready before I ‘prep’ myself. Corinne came at 940am. Let Izz play on the computer and then ‘sneaked’ out of the house. Went to Marion’s house. Freedom! Felt like the movie –Thelma & Louise, except that there were 3 of us and we’re not committing any crime….yet. Hehehe. Arrived at Westfield Woden at 10am. The cinema was not opened yet but people were already lining up outside. Today was the premier for Pirates of the Caribbean 3. Ahh… finally, the door opened. Went right in and bought our tickets. We’re in Cinema 1. There were only 7 of us in the whole cinema. Feels strange going out with us girls only. I kept looking over my shoulder wondering where Izz is. Hey, he’s at home! It has been a long time since I got a chance to go out sans kids. Feels sad yet liberated at the same time. For once I don’t have to think about other people other than myself. Feels good actually, I might get used to this…! Saw some movie trailers. The ones that caught my attention were -Mr Brooks, The Bridge to Terabithia, Evan Almighty and Perfect Stranger. Marion brought chocolates, lots of them! The movie Because I Said So was a ‘chick flick’ and a nice one indeed. I’ve always been a fan of Diane Keaton and the last time I saw her was in Something’s Gotta Give with Jack Nicholson. We had an enjoyable time and Gabriel Macht (Johnny) is a total Honey! I want one! After the movie we went out for lunch at Babar Café’. It was freezing outside so we chose to sit inside. I ordered Linguini Marinara, Corinne ordered a Gnocchi and Marion ordered a Linguini Machiavelli. The food was divine! We talked about what my plans will be when I got home etc. Switched on the phone and saw 3 missed calls. It was Rosh. Called his hp. He called to asked what time should he feed the baby? I said look at the list, everything’s there…hello…!?? I think he was checking up on me. Later we went to the Australian Geographic shop to buy ‘bribes’ for the kids. I got Izz a Grip Ball. Then we proceed to Angus & Robertson bookstore. They were having a sale. Got a few books there (books are my numero uno weakness) so did Marion and Corinne. The offer was too good to let go. We got home around 3pm. The kids are still alive and kicking. It’s a good practice actually because after the divorce is finalized this sort of arrangement will be a routine for us. Geez! I really hate him for doing this to us! Ripping our family apart, making my kids confused etc… damn him to hell and back! But we have to follow him because he said so……

Quasi Birthday...

2007-06-02T21:18:00.000+09:30

Yesterday was the 1st of June. He's officially 46 years old. Maybe it's midlife crisis, maybe it's in his gene pool. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midlife_crisis) But whatever it is - I've tried to understand, help and work things out with him but to no avail. His family means nothing to him. I've managed to crawl out of the deep, dark abyss - mutilated, bewildered, angered and crushed but somehow, I've survived. Mangled but still in one piece. Thank you God!
He was still on the computer after 1245am so I gave him his Birthday card and gifts. I gave him a Harley Davidson T-Shirt and a silver keyring with an agate embedded in it. He said thank you and looked at the gifts. Said he liked it and I said you're welcome. I don't know what to expect and how to react. Everything seems so surreal. I went straight to bed after that 'conversation'. Went out in the morning with Corinne and Aish to Westfield Woden. Bought medicines for the whole family, (Yep! For each one of us, everyone is under the weather lately... need to wonder why?) Was on the way back when I said to Corinne I want to get a cake for him. She said it'll be nice for the kids to celebrate something. So I got him this Boston Cake. It's a 3 layered cake - vanilla cake/custard/vanilla cake and it's topped with a layer of chocolate. Yummy... very,very delicious! Oh... did I tell you? I've gained 2kg! So now I'm 46kg! This was all due to the late nite bingeing - buttered toast, ice creams with strawberry sauce, ice creams n bread, chocolates with raisins, blueberry muffins... bla,bla,bla. It's getting really cold here (4C-0C) so I'm alway feeling hungry. Or it could just be my period is just around the corner and I'm bloating, it's all water retention and it'll be gone and I'll be back to square one again...! Anyway, (too much information there) came back, pick Izz up, siesta time, wake everbody up and went to Marion's house with Corinne. Kai and Brandon followed too. This is their first time there. The kids had a blast in the backyard and we planned about our Girl's Day Out on Sunday. We've agreed to go to Hoyts Woden to watch "Because I said so" and have lunch in one of the restaurants there. We'll go out at 930am and be back by 3pm. Marion cut her hair. Her hair look bouncier and she looked younger/fresher. We had to say our goodbyes as the day becomes darker. Went home, cooked lasagna. It tasted exceptionally good actually, since this is my first time making it. Had dinner and then I took out the cake. Izz was excited and Aish was in his element - Crispix! Sang a birthday song and he cut the cake. You see... birthdays used to be a big thing with us. I'd make cards with Izz, prepare a sketch, game or song where Izz will do it after the cake cutting and we all have fun and merriment. Even if there's just the 3 of us. What we had feels so superficial, empty and fake. No laughter, no happy faces - just a group of people enjoying a good cake. And that was it. Why did I bother...

This morning Rosh had an invitation for a brunch at the college, so I took the kids out at 10am to Hyperdome Tuggeranong. We 'loitered' around and had fun cause Mr. Grumpy wasn't there to spoil our day. Later we had lunch at Westfield Woden because Izz wants to have Mcdonalds. I had some sushi. 'Loitered' around some more and went home at 3pm. Izz went straight to Corinne's house the moment we reached home. Picked up Rosh at the college at 530pm. Made chicken salad, garlic bread and onion soup. Had dinner, started reading my new book - Beach Road by James Patterson. Feel sad and lonely, maybe because the kids are all sleeping early today. The room is too quiet it's deafening... Looking forward for my date with the girls tomorrow...

Hujan Emas di negeri Orang...

2007-05-31T20:32:00.000+09:30

The grass is always greener on the other side. Betul ke hujan batu di negeri sendiri tapi baik lagi negeri sendiri...? Rasanya dah tak boleh pakai lagi dah pepatah ni... Kalau boleh kutip emas kenapa kita nak pilih batu plak...? Tak ke bodoh namanya tu... Sepanjang aku hidup ni dah banyak la jugak tempat orang yang aku dah pegi - Singapore, Brunei, Thailand, Indonesia (Medan & Bali), Korea, Japan (walaupun kat dalam Narita airport jer tapi 9 jam weihh...huhuhu), Hawaii dan sekarang Australia. Kalau nak dibandingkan memang sume lain2, ada pros and cons. Tapi aku rasa memang best tempat org and the best place to live is Hawaii n Australia. Kenapa...? Sebab pertama - environment. Fresh air and clean surroundings. Memang tak blh nak lawan. They really take things seriously. Takde cincai2 atau sambil lewa atau Malaysia Boleh! Sume ikut peraturan and I mean semua, tak kira sapa, besar kecik, atas bawah. Rasa macam hidup regulated tapi senang sebab kita tau apa yg boleh buat, apa yg tak blh buat dan semua org will do the same thing. Senang hidup. Hawaii n Australia aku rasa udara diorg mmg lain. Mungkin sebab diorg pulau yg jauh dari org lain, jadi takder jerebu2 ni kot. Kat Korea lak, kalau pakai baju kuar jln2 satu hari kat bandar dia, balik rendam baju tu fuhh! Kelabu airnya. Sebab, banyak sangat kilang kat sana n asap arang batu dr China. Kedua - moral yg tinggi. Kita nama jer asian patut berbudi bahasa tapi hampeh! Banyak kali kalau nak naik LRT tu mana ada yg beratur. Kalau kita ikut undang2/peraturan kena pijak2 la kita. Jahat jadi raja, baik jadi kuli... Masa aku pregnant, makcik tua yg bangun bg seat kat aku. Yg muda2 buat tak reti jer. Kalau ada yg baik pun yg perempuan esp student. Yg lelaki jarang sangat aku jumpa yg gentleman. Kat mesin ATM pun boleh buat muka seposen je potong line. Kita hidup asal boleh. Buang sampah merata2. Kalau org tak nampak tak salah la tu. Buat dulu, kalau kena lain cerita. Lepas tu tgk kabel. Lagi besar lagi senang la hidup - Above the Law. Kat sini budak kecik pun tau beratur, tak payah disuruh atau ada yg jaga. Automatik. Nampak sampah kat jalan tolong kutip buang. Anjing semua pegi 'sekolah', takder anjing liar atau gigit2 anak org ni. Kalau anjing berak, tuan dia kena kutip taik dia. Kita yg ada anak kecik didahulukan. Parking sume ikut ruang yg disediakan. Takde la double/triple parking ni. Aishh... memang jauh beza mentaliti dorg dgn kita. Mungkin Hawaii tu tourist oriented tapi salesperson dia tak kisah pun kalau kita masuk kedai dia pukul 1130 malam just browsing around and kuar tak beli apa2. Dengan muka manis siap cakap mahalo/aloha/good nite/thank you/come again. Ni masuk dgn muka berpeluh2 with just T-Shirt n jeans! Kalau kat Malaysia, siap kena assess dulu. Tgk kita atas bawah. Kalau pakai baju sengkek alamat tak kena layan ataupun dok ikut kita macam la kita ni penyamun nak rompak kedai dia. Silap aribulan kena sound lagi sebab tak beli apa2. Kat sini mana2 pegi, jumpa la sapa2 pun mesti dorg greet kita dgn senyuman. Masa antar anak pegi sekolah, masa jogging, masa beli barang, masa jalan2 sume sapa kita macam la dah kenal lama. Ada la jugak 2-3 kerat yg menyombong tapi rata2 sume mmg akan tegur kita bila bertembung. Kalau kat Malaysia nak senyum kat org pun payah. Silap2 dikatanya kita tak betul senyum sorang2. Kalau kita tegur org kang katanya kita buang tebiat... susah kan. Ketiga - safety. Masa aku dok 3 bulan lbh kat Hawaii tu aku merayau2 satu pulau tu sorang2 je (time laki aku kat ofis) n naik bas atau jalan kaki je. Bawak map, bus schedule hah... pegi la mana nak pegi. Tak de pun org nak samun, nak tipu atau nak ugut. Bas dia mmg on time tak penah terlambat. Pegi mana2 rasa selamat je, tak rasa takut atau was2, macam la tempat tu tempat kita (muka pun dah ada muka org sana dah...) Kalau tersesat pun dorg tolong macam nak rak, sampai ada sekali tu org tu jln ngan aku all the way sampai aku sampai kat tpt yg aku nak pegi. Kita plak yg rasa serba salah. Bebas sungguh. Anak2 nak main kat luar pun tak risau anak nak kena culik ker, kena langgar ker, kena rogol ker, kena liwat ker... (Lepas tu kebanyakan yg buat dajai ni sume org Islam... buta malu jer!) Kat Malaysia je aku dah penah kena rompak (dengan pisau n kat depan rumah plak tu!), public transport kita sampai sekarang still hopeless, kena tipu/ugut ngan teksi driver ntah tak terkira brp kali dah, budak2 lepak yg bersepah2 takde hala tuju suka mengacau org yg lalu-lalang, Mat2 Rempit yg membahayakan nyawa org lain, kawan sendiri samun hp and beg duit kita n mcm2 lagi laa... Semak kepala kalau dipikir2. Patutnya negara kita yg agama resminya Islam - aman damai, berbudi bahasa, tenteram pendek kata sesuai dgn makna Islam tu sendiri iaitu - Sejahtera. Tapi takpun... lagi serabut adalah... Mungkin kita ni nama je Islam, Islam warisan atau ikut2an, tapi isi... Rompong. Tak paham apa tu Islam. Kita ingat kalau lagi besar serban atau lagi labuh tudungnya lagi baik la org tu.... Macam yg kat dalam rumah ni laa... sembahyang/puasa tak pernah tinggal, baca Yasin khamis malam Jumaat, kalau nmpk something yg org buat salah kutuk mcm2, makan jaga halal/haram pendek kata mmg muslim sejati, tapi tu diaaa..... dia la setan bertopengkan manusia. Apa yg dia tak buat... bunuh org je tak lagi kot. Yg lain sume dah blh buboh tanda tick kat atas checklist tu. Chehh... dah lari topik la plak.... Tapi mmg la, bila kita dah pegi byk tpt org kita dah ada benda yg nak kita bandingkan. Mmg terasa macam kita ni dianak tirikan di negara sendiri. Keempat - facilities. Masa aku 'cacat' sementara for about 5 bln lebih (kena pakai plaster cast lps operate ruptured tendon archilles) mmg terasa macam org cacat atau bahasa halusnya OKU (i still don't get it, they still mean the same, like calling babi khinzir, takde benda lain ker nak pikir...?) tak der tempat dalam masyarakat. I still lead a normal life ie. pegi shopping, kuar makan, jln2 etc. Tapi Ya Allah, mmg seksa. Kalau kat shopping tu or any buildings kebanyakannya takde ramp for wheel chair. Ha'ah, aku tak pedulik. Kenapa, kalau naik wheelchair nak kena dok rumah jer ker...? Malu? Kenapa lak? Bukannya aku jln2 bogel... Jadi berpusing2 la kita org cari the best possible way to get in. Sometimes I had to hop while my brothers or sisters carry my wheel chair up the stairs. Tak user friendly langsung. Lps tu berth between the aisles sempit, susah nak manoeuvre. Yg aku plg tak tahan sekali ialah org yg suka tgk/perli macam la aku ni ada hutang ngan dorg. Mentang2 kita tak macam org lain so nak kena layan pun lain ke...? Apa la kita ni, mmg betul la kita ni masih lagi dgn mentaliti 3rd world country. Aku mmg simpati dgn OKU kat negara kita sebab tak dpt layanan/kemudahan yg sama macam org lain. Note - I said sama not special, because they do deserve to lead a normal and comfortable life like the rest of us. Kat sini semua tempat (buildings/roads/parks etc) are user/OKU friendly, samada utk wheel chair ataupun stroller. Lift dia pun ada Braille markings utk yg buta. Ada parents room (utk tukar pampers, bg susu/mkn anak etc - siap ngan microwave lg), toilet utk parents and child, wide aisle berth for wheelchairs at checkout counters etc. Patut benda2 mcm ni la yg kita ikut, bukannya air-conditioned toilet! Kat sini banyak tempat yg kita boleh spend time dgn family kita and it's all free! Ada park, soccer/rugby fields, tracks for bikes, skating ramps etc. Semuanya well kept and maintained. Kat Malaysia kat mana nak bawak budak2 pegi jln2...? Last resort pegi shopping centre la. Kadang2 aku rasa kita ni mcm lab rats. Terima je apa yg org nak test/buat kat kita. Tak boleh nak pikir atau soal kenapa kita diperlakukan begitu... Walaupun kalau kita kat tpt org kita akan jd second class citizen (but I don't think so - because it's not that easy to accepted, they don't simply take any Tom, Dick or Harry...) tp mmg dah sah2 kita kat tpt org. Tp kalau kat tpt sendiri pun dah jd second/third class citizen, macam mana tu.... Sapa nak tolong jawab....? Tapi jgn la ingat aku ni terlalu taksub n mendewa2kan lak negara luar. Aku just ceta mana yg baik yg aku rasa patut kita jadikan contoh, dan mana yg buruk supaya kita blh ubah. Banyak jugak benda yg tak baik kat negara luar tu tp nak buat apa kita nak ikut yg buruk...? Ramai lg org yg baik2 kat Malaysia tu, tp tu la byk yg jd mangsa keadaan. Malaysians kebanyakannya decent tp mungkin kerana kita ni nak kemajuan yg instant/segera tu yg jd kelam kabut tu. Banyak jugak benda yg elok kat Malaysia tu, contohnya kita nye public health service aku rasa antara yg termurah dan terbaik compared to other countries. Syabas to all the people in that sector. Malaysia jugak Food Heaven. There's no place like it. Mmg makanan yg paling best sume ada kat Malaysia - you name it, you got it. Maybe there's still hope for the future. Election dah dekat kan...? Jadi daftarlah sbg pengundi dan undilah dgn bijak....

Dress Up Day

2007-05-31T18:45:00.000+09:30

We had Dress Up Day today. Izz was so excited that he managed to finish his breakfast within 15 mins! Or was it because today we had fried macaroni... hmmmm ^_^ ? Anyway, geared up the kids, Izz wore his gold Baju Melayu since the theme of the day was Gold and Aish as usual becomes a big bundle of clothing. The temperature was 11C! It was very sunny but the wind was chilly. Went to Ana's house rang the bell but nothig happened. After waiting for 5 mins Ana opened the door. She's still in her Jammie's... something must be wrong. She asked us to wait in the kitchen. She was trying to get Faris into his costumes. It's a golden aegis. Ariffin (Faris's dad) made it till the wee hours in the morning. Ana has been trying to get Faris to wear it but he refused. I told Ana if Faris doesn't want to wear any costumes it's ok. Ana asked Faris whether he wants to wear the costume or not but Faris just sat in the corner and cried. I said it's better if I go and let Ana sort this out by herself as we're already late. We went to school on our own. When we arrived at Preschool everybody was already inside. We had 3 Batmans, 3 fairies, 3 princesses, a superman, a pirate, a fireman and Buzz Lightyear. Robyn was dressed as a Bumble Bee and Wendy became Old Mother Hubbard. There was an air of festivities with colors everywhere. The kids were checking out each others costumes and were giggling all the time. Ignorance is truly bliss...

~All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages~

William Shakespeare

Hear a different drummer...

2007-05-28T23:55:00.000+09:30

Marion picked us up at 910am. Izz was ecstatic because he was able to play with Kai. Aish couldn't be bothered. Hahaha. Had tea and the usual chit-chat. At 10am Marion had to send Kai to swimming lesson. I used that time to upload all the pics that we took at National Zoo & Aquarium of Canberra. He took us there to make up to his outburst on Saturday. But the trip was far from enjoyable. How can you enjoy yourself when you're travelling with a sourpuss...? He managed to find fault with everything to and from the trip. I hate it when a man nags, it's very unbecoming and crass. Izz took the brunt of his crap most of the time till the kid gave up and did whatever he feels like doing and I would end up being the bad guy trying to make him behave! $#!t! He's such a piece of work! I feel like gouging his eyes and feed it to the lions! Can't wait to get him out of my life... Today, the DA invited us for dinner at his house in honour of Prof. Dato' Dr. Zakaria Hj. Ahmad, a visiting UKM lecturer to the Defence College. (Professor Dato' Dr Zakaria Ahmad is Professor of Strategic Studies and Coordinator of the Defence Studies Programme at the School of History, Politics and Strategic Studies, Faculty of Social Sciences and Humanities of the UKM. He has published extensively on Malaysian politics, Southeast Asian and Asia-Pacific security issues, and has been a consultant to the Malaysian Ministries of Defence and Foreign Affairs). Kak Kaminah, the DA's wife prepared a feast for us - ayam masak lemak, sup tulang, sambal udang, mixed vege and sweet sour fish. The dinner was a nice change of environment as I get to mingled with other people besides UKWho. I had enough of his bull$#!t during the weekend. Kak Misnah was there too and Izz was happy to play tackle with Hidayah. Feel a little bit better afterwards. The journey home was a short one but it feels like an eternity. Anyway, nowadays I don't let him get to me as I'm dancing to a different beat now... all guns blazing and I'm revelling in it.

Kenangan Aiskrim Malaysia

2007-05-27T18:58:00.000+09:30

Disebabkan kenangan silam mendapat sambutan hangat di pasaran, aku ada lagi satu ceta... Ada sekali tu masa balik raya kat rumah Tok Wan (Kg. Manjoi, Ipoh), ayah ajak kita pegi beraya ke rumah sedara dia yg dah lama tak jumpa. Rasanya rumah dia kat Grik. Jauh n berliku2 jalannya beb. Siap kuar masuk hutan. Dulu hiway takder lagi. Sampai kat sana macam biasa la kalau time beraya - makan kuih, sembang2 etc. Kitaorg yg budak2 biasala dah bosan tgk TV, main kat luar. Sekali ntah camna, tuan rumah ni tanya nak tak makan ais krim malaysia? Hmm... mesti best kan panas2 ni... so kitaorg pun kata nak la. Dia pun bg kitaorg sorang satu aiskrim. Nampak macam aiskrim Milo jer... So we took a bite. Ermmm.... asal rasa macam pelik jer ek..? Masing2 nye muka dah jadi pelik. Hmmm.... nak tau aiskrim tu perisa apa..? Perisa bubur kacang hijau! Rasa melekat2 kat tekak. Hahaha.... "Sedap ker..?" "Nuh..uhh.." semua geleng kepala. "Jom kuar..." Macam mana nak buat ni...? Kang kalau makan tak abis, nanti kecik ati lak tuan rumah. Punya la berbudi bahasa anak2 Pakcik Tapa ni kan... So pikir nye pikir aku ada idea. Kita org pakat buang isi aiskrim tu ramai2 kat pokok bunga dia kat luar tu. Lepas tu tunggu jap baru masuk dalam rumah kononnya nak buang plastik aiskrim yg dah 'abih makan' tu. Tuan rumah punya la happy tgk kita makan abih n cepat lak tu offer lg aiskrim. Alamak! Kitaorg cepat2 kata, takpe tima kasih dah kenyang la, nanti2 boleh la. So pendekkan ceta bila time nak balik tuan rumah ada bekalkan makanan kat kitaorg. "Buat makan2 on the way back nanti..." Bukak2 bekas tu tau tak apa...? Ais krim bubur kacang hijau lagi!! Last2 ayah yg perabihkan sorang2. Huhuhu... Aruah Tok Kiah dulu pun suka buat n jual aiskrim Malaysia ni. Murah jer... 5 sen satu! Bukan apa dia saja seronok budak2 datang rumah nak beli aiskrim. Tapi kalau kitaorg dah balik Ipoh alamatnya kita adik beradik la yg tibai sampai abis sume2 aiskrim tu. Tapi kita org bayar tau (mak la penaja utama! Tq mak!) Cucu tak cucu... Tapi kadang2 tu ada juga yg kena 'songlap' hehehe. Tok Kiah ada buat banyak perisa, ada oren, milo, etc dan my feveret - perisa asam boi dgn asam boi kat belah bawah aiskrim tu... Bestnya. Rumah aruah Tok Wan n Tok Kiah kat Kg. Manjoi tu memang panas yang amat, so dapat makan aiskrim tu macam satu nikmat yang tak dapat dilepaskan atau dilupakan. Mak nanti dah pencen pun boleh buat camni gak kot. Tapi tak leh la jual harga 5 sen lagi. Jual 10 sen boleh la kot.... Tapi takut bukan cucu yang nak makan tapi 'Mak Budak' yg teringin nak makan. Huhuhu......

Volte Face

2007-05-26T14:23:00.000+09:30

He was in a bad mood today... He came back at 230am last nite so he was groggy when Izz woke him up for breakfast. Did not talk much at the table. We only co-exist in the same house and our relationship has been reduced to a landlord and tenant cum maid. Told him need to repair my camera and do some grocery shopping. He said he need to go back to sleep and said we'll go out at 10 something. That's about it, 1 sentence from each of us. We went out at 1030am to Hyperdome Tuggeranong. First stop - K Mart. Izz wanted to go to the toys aisle. Told him to stay there and wait till we come and get him. Went to the electrical department. We could repair the camera but need to pay some service charge. He gave me a sullen look. As if I purposely ruined the camera just to spite him... It's always been like that between us regarding money. We have a parent/child relationship when it comes to money. Since he brings home a bigger slice of the dough he must always have the final say on how we spend his money. If I want to buy anything, even if it's for us/house/family, I have to ask the money from him, justify the purchase and maybe then he will give me the money (after a long lecture bla..bla..bla..) So most of the time I just use my own money, saves me the time and unsolicited advices. Went to look for Izz while he work things out with the salesperson. Izz was showing me the stuffs that he likes. I made a mental note on what to buy him for his birthday. Rosh came and asked if we're done looking. Izz asked if he could get a Hot Wheel. Aish was crying. I was pushing the stroller out of the aisle when suddenly I heard "Stupid good for nothing kid!" and Izz banged into me and fell on the floor. He bawled and clung on to me. I asked Rosh why did he push Izz until he fell to the floor? He said Izz was rude to him and pushed his hand away when he didn't want to buy Izz what he wants. Then he keeps on fuming and took the stroller away from me. I just couldn't believe it! He lost his temper in public and think it's ok to push my son to the ground because he was rude?!! That's it! The love is gone baby! That was the final straw! I'm free! I'm not in conflict anymore... I tried to console Izz and keep my composure. I was so mad I could feel my cheeks burning. Ugh!!! #*@% him... Need to cleanse all this bad aura off me and my kids. At least I'm at peace now. I now know where my heart stands and it's easier for me to carry out all my plans, devious or not. By the way, all my claws are unsheathed now....

Sotto Voce

2007-05-25T20:40:00.000+09:30

Arrggghhh.....!!! I'm having a relapse! (Where have you been my archangel? Don't leave me be!) It's like a sniper attack - swift, sudden and deadly...I don't know when it hit me but I'm bearing the casualties. All the negative feelings returns. Engulfed with sadness and anger I cried all the way while sending Izz to school. Upon arrival at the school, I had to take few deep breaths and my knuckles are already turning white from gripping the stroller's handle tightly in order to hold the tears in. Returned the library book, talk briefly to Wendy about Luke stepping on Izz's lunch yesterday and went back home. The big sunglasses managed to hide my red puffy eyes. I detest failing to keep my emotions in check. I failed to distract my mind although I had a fairly busy week. I managed to finish Digital Fortress yesterday nite itself and moved on to Micheal Connelly - Chasing the Dime, finished mending and hemming Marion's garments (5 pieces of them), wrote 7 pages of my daily pledge (everyday), busied myself with housework but still - my mind managed to deviate to the dark side. Why can't I just chuck all my doldrums in a basket, put a big rock in it and throw it in the sea...? I'm now on the fritz with these nasty visceral feelings that I have. Amour... That's why I kept myself out of the loop for as long as I could, cause I know once I fall in love I'm gonna fall hard and absolute. Unfortunately, I managed to marry a man from the bottom of the percentile - a charlatan. Cupid must be playing tricks on me! I'm in turmoil because my feelings are conflicting. I hate him yet I still love him. Hate the deed not the doer they say. I still cannot comprehend why that feeling still exists after everything that he has done to me and the kids. Am I sappy/sadistic/crazy...? I want him to be the father of my kids yet I don't want him to have anything to do with them? I want to inflict the same pain and suffering to them and yet at the same time I feel guilty for having such malicious thoughts? I can feel and act happy on the outside yet inside I'm bleeding to death? It's something that I can control or think about yet can't stop from feeling? I need a cure for my malaise before I succumb to despair....

Maybe the answer is a new paramour...?

The Missing Link...

2007-05-24T23:23:00.000+09:30

It's Wednesday. Yes! Sent Izz to school. Packed him tuna sandwich. Determined to finish Dan Brown's Digital Fortress. Got a call from Ana at 1215pm. She sound quite worried. She said Wendy just called her and said that Faris is sick and need to go home. She asked me if it's OK for me to take her car and drive to school to pick up the kids. I said no problem but need some time to organize my stuff. Oh no, the baby seat is in my car. So Ana had to carry Aish on her lap. (Strike one!). Arrived at the school, Wendy was waiting for us by the school gate. Uh..oh! not good... She said Faris was playing on the Monkey Bar and fell. He had a cut on his top of his eyebrow and will need to have some stitches. Ana turned white. We went into the classroom and saw Robyn holding a bleeding Faris on her lap. She was holding an ice pack on his wound. His shirt and pants were covered with blood so I'm guessing the cut must be quite deep. Ana was looking faint and burst into tears when Faris called her so Robyn had to carry him to the car. Ana had to hold Faris on her lap and Izz sat on the booster seat (Strike Two!). I just strap Aish on the seat and prayed that he doesn't wriggle or move around. I had to drive back to the house to take Izz's booster seat as no one is going to hold Aish. On the way back stop by at Ana's house to get her Medibank card, took Izz's booster seat for Aish (Strike Three!) and were on our way to Philip Medical Centre. On the way out we met Ibu Paryanlo and she offered to go with us. We arrived at the Medical Centre around 110pm and went straight to the Receptionist. She looked at Faris and ushered them to the Emergency Room. I stayed there to settle the registration and stuff. She asked for the Medicare Card. I said I only have Medibank since we're foreigners. "Ooh... then you have to pay first and make your claim afterwards" OK, fine (I know that...!) After filling in all sorts of forms, I went to look for them. Faris was lying on the bed still crying. There was no doctor or nurses in sight. So we just waited there until it was 230pm and a nurse came over and asked what happened. Duh! She then called in a doctor and then the dice starts to roll. The service was so slow! This is an emergency and we're paying... Imagine if we went to the Canberra Hospital. But it was no surprise as when I was here for the first time (Aish has Gastro bug) I had to wait for 2hr plus. Ana said when she was here the last time, she registered in at 10am and was called in to see the doctor at 330pm!! Faris was given local anesthetic and was given 4 stitches. The laceration was 7cm wide and +1cm deep. Ibu Paryanlo and I was with Faris the whole time as Ana could not stand blood and seeing Faris in pain. She waited outside at the waiting room with Aish and Izz. Aish was having fun padding around the waiting room and making friends with a girl named Kathleen. Izz played with Faris while we were waiting for the doctor but he waited outside during the stitching because he said "it's too scary la mak.." After the stitching, since Ana or Ibu Paryanlo couldn't speak much English I had to follow the doctor for some clarification. He explained on how to take care of the wound and so on. I also has to sign a consent form on behalf of Ana saying that she allows the doctor to do the required procedures on her son. He then wrote some gibberish on a piece of paper and told me to take it the the Receptionist. Then the Receptionist gave me the bill. AUD160. 60 for doctor's consultation and 100 for the stitching. Lucky I had some cash with me. Ana did not have any money as she forgot to bring her wallet during the commotion. Send them back home. Fortunately there were no cops doing spot checks. Otherwise I would be fined for numerous offences (3 strikes at once!). Arrived around 330pm. Feel hungry, cooked instant noodle. Izz just want his milk and went straight to bed. Aish sleeps the moment his nose touched the corner of his pillow. Mak called asking how's everything. Told her everything is fine and I feel alive after days of floating aimlessly. The incident today was like a shot of adrenaline that I need to boost my moxie. How to get this kind of jolt everyday...? I kinda need it....

Buah Hati Pengarang Jantung...

2007-05-23T08:57:00.000+09:30

Aish dah ada 6 batang gigi dah. 4 atas 2 bawah. Sekarang ni dia asyik tersengih jer. Chomel giler! Puji anak sendiri... tapi betul, kalau p mana2 si Aish ni mesti jadi tumpuan. Kalau kat preschool tu, pantang kalau aku stay jap tgk si Izz belajar, mesti Aish ni kena kerumun dgn budak2 lain especially si Jasper n Bella. Air liur si Aish tu meleleh2 la kat baju dia, takpe "Your baby is so cute...I love your baby! Why your baby is brown? Hi, little brown baby" tak berenti2 si Jasper tu bercakap, sampai aku tak larat nak layan. Yang Bella lak sibuk nak dokong n bagi si Aish tu makan sampai aku lak naik risau. Pernah sekali tu masa makan kat food court kat Westfield Woden ada satu family mat saleh tu asyik tersengih2 tgk kat Aish. Rupanya Aish sibuk melawak dgn dorg. Lps tu one of their kids kata "Can I take a picture of your baby? He`s gorgeous" Ambik la...tu time takder gigi. Masa kat garage sale pun sama. Ada makcik tua tu punya la berkenan sampai ikut kitaorg berjalan keliling tpt garage sale tu, main ngan Aish, sampai aku lak naik rimas. Tapi org buat baik takpe la layan je la... Kat sini je kot chomel, bila dah balik Malaysia takde sapa nak heran dah. Belambak muka camtu kat Mesia. Yg aku dok geram tgk anak dorg kat sini. Pipi dah la tembam, rosy cheeks lak tu dgn mata bulat kaler2 - grey, blue, green, hazel. Rambut lak ada yg blonde, red, chestnut eishhhh... Macam anak patung, gerammmm... tgk rasa macam nak cubit2 pipi dorg tu. Anak aku ni dah la sepet, botak, gigi kapak tp tu la nak buat camna tetap chomel macam mak dia gak (tu tak dapat nak dinafikan) hahaha. Nasib baik la muka anak2 aku ni takde langsung muka bapak dia. Kalau tak lagi sakit hati dibuatnya. Muka aku ni boleh la dikatakan muka international. Ada yang kata muka aku ni macam awek Siam, mixedblood Chinese+Indian, masa p Hawaii jd local sana, p Indon jd local sana, p Australia jd org Cambodia plak. Ini sume sebab aku mmg ada mixed blood. Belah mak aku Chinese+Jawa, belah ayah aku Bugis+Aceh+Siam so no wonder lah kan... Kalau korang tgk adik beradik aku yg 8 org tu lagi best, macam mini United Nations. Ada Melayu, Bangla, Arab, Siam, Cina, Nigga etc. Nanti bila aku balik ni nanti kena amik family picture baru best! Sebut2 pasal family ni teringat kat aruah Tok aku. Aku ni satu pesen sikit, Tok pun aku bagi nick name. Sebenarnya bukan apa, masa kecik2 dulu susah nak ingat Tok yg mana satu sebab byk sgt Tok n I've got a short term memory. Jadi aku bg nama ikut apa yg most memorable ataupun trademark Tok2 aku tu. First sekali Tok Gigi Mas. Ni mak kepada mak aku. Dia ni la source Chinese blood kami. Nama betul dia Suparton @ Asiah. Mana la aku nak boleh ingat masa kecik2 dulu. Dia ni ada pakai gigi mas (sekarang sume nigga baru nak belajar pakai...) so I have this fixation on her golden teeth, kalau cakap ngan dia mesti nak tgk jer gigi dia. Tu sebab aku panggil dia Tok Gigi Mas. Ni la Tok yg aku paling sayang tapi umur dia tak panjang. Kalau aku balik kampung Batu Pahat, the first thing yg aku mesti dengar bila sampai sana is "Mana dia cucu atok sayang, busuk, intan payung tu...?" Lepas tu kena peluk kuat2, cium satu muka yeargh... rimas. Tak cool la kan, tapi bila lama2 especially bila dah Tua, aku lak rasa kecik hati kalau dia tak cakap or peluk macam tu. She really make a fuss kalau kita org balik kampung. Yani nak makan apa? Cakap je apa, beres... nanti Tok buat. My feveret? Soto, nasi ayam, sate' goreng, tempe goreng kicap, kek marble oren, biskut samprit, biskut dahlia, halwa betik and banyak lagi (Tok ni mmg terer masak2 nih...) tp tu yg paling2 aku suka n remind me of her. I miss u Tok! Tok tak sempat nak tgk cicit2 Tok ni. Kalau dia ada lagi mesti dia sayang giler kat Izz n Aish. But bagus gak dia dah takde considering the state that I'm in right now. Mesti dia sedih... Anyway, suami Tok Gigi Mas ialah Tok Medan, sebab dia duduk di Seri Medan. Tu tak yah nak explain la. Rumah dia pergh... jenuh nak pegi kena naik bukit. Lepas tu kena tempuh kebun getah lak tu. Rumah Tok Medan best sebab ada macam2 benda nak ditengok. Ada parit yg banyak ikan pelaga, (kalau kat Johor mmg belambak benda ni) ada kolam air, ada pokok koko, durian, rambutan pendek kata macam2 la. Rumah dia plak ada kolong (tempat mak ngah sorok durian) so masa kecik2 dulu memang seronok. Tak payah playstation kalau nak main, ikut imaginasi n kreativiti masing2. Tapi dulu paling tak best kalau nak ke tandas. Sebab kalau nak buang yg besar kena amik air, bawak dalam timba lepas tu kena naik atas bukit. Ruangan 4 segi ditutup dgn daun nipah dan berbumbungkan langit saja. Kalau boleh memang aku tahan je. Tapi kalau terpaksa gak kena la ajak sapa2 temankan. Kalau aku ajak adik aku teman I'll make sure they sing while waiting sebab takut nanti diorg lari tinggalkan aku n aku tak tau. Seram you... Kalau buang yg kecik, kat belebas kat luar dapur. Lampu time tu pakai lampu gas yg kena pam tu. Kalau nak mandi kat kolam kat depan rumah tu. Kena cedok air ngan timba besi. Air dia, Ya Allah... sejuk giler. Memang kampung betul time tu. Sekarang sume facility dah ada tapi tu la kenangan yg aku rasa susah nak dapat lagi dah sekarang ni... a typical kampung life. Tok Gigi Mas ada adik pompuan, aku panggil dia Tok Hisap Rokok sebab, obviously...dia suka hisap rokok. Dia ni duduk kat Pasir Gudang, baik tapi aku jarang jumpa dia sebab dah masuk asrama etc. Dia pun dah passed away. Lepas tu aku ada Tok Meja Panjang. Hahaha... ni best sebab rumah dia typical Malay house. Rumah dia kat Sri Dayung, ada anjung, tangga kayu tinggi, dapur n ruang tamu yang luas. Rumah dia ni spesel sebab dia ada meja jawa (macam meja jepun tu... yg kaki pendek) tapi meja dia ni extra panjang, banyak plak tu. Kalau balik raya penuh dengan segala jenis kuih muih. Yg aku carik first sekali - lengkong bersakar. Best! Ni memang Tok Meja Panjang je yg ada buat. Lepas tu carik air oren kampung. It's actually a locally made carbonated drinks. Rasa dia lain tu yg best.. especially sasparilla. Kaw! Lepas tu baulu. Baulu Tok ni keras di luar tapi lembut didalam. Cara yg betul nak makan... gigit lepas tu biar dia cair dalam mulut... mmmm, atau telan dgn air teh yumm... Kalau ada marhaban memang penuh, tapi senang la sebab rumah dia besar n cukup2 untuk segregate lelaki n pompuan. Kat Johor Marhaban masih hidup lagi. Last sekali ada Tok Ayam Masak Kicap. Nama dia Tok Mat n dia duduk kat Sri Medan gak. Rumah dia kalau raya memang masak ayam masak kicap ni, ayam kampung plak tu. Speciality dia. Mak punya syok makan sampai patah gigi sebab gigit tulang ayam kampung. So tu sebab panggil dia Tok Ayam Masak Kicap. Tu je yg aku ingat time ni, nanti kalau ada yg lain aku tambah la. Aku dah kata aku ni kan short term memory...Mak ngan ayah la yg suka paksa kitaorg p rumah sume2 Tok ni n sedara mara yg lain. "Nanti kalau tak sedara sendiri pun kau tak kenal". Masa kecik2 dulu mana minat nak pegi jalan jauh2 jumpa org2 tua ni. Dah la kena pakai baju elok2, tak boleh kotor2, kena duduk diam2 (mind your P's n Q's) penat, baik duduk rumah main ke tengok TV ke lagi best kan. Tapi I'm glad that they took us on all those trips. Banyak kenangan manis dan yg penting makan sedap.....

Sweet Torture...

2007-05-21T21:28:00.000+09:30

Can't shake this mental block that I've been having for days. State of euphoria doesn't agree with me. I've realised that when I'm happy nothing else really matters. I don't mull over things that I don't have/could have/shouldn't do/need to do etc. I take everything in stride cause I feel Invincible! I'm happy so what else do I need? My brain goes on a vacation. I really do excel under a lot of stress and duress. Typical type A personality - a stress junkie. It's strange, but somehow I think there's more than one personality inside me, and both are at the polar opposite of each other. In one side there's this perfectionist, an obsessive compulsive girl who needs everything to be done in a specific way. And I'm anal about being specific. I'd do and redo something repeatedly till I get the exact picture that I have in my head. Sometimes I'd stay up all nite doing it till I get the exact result. The other side is this laid back, devil may care attitude girl. I'd do something just for the sake of doing it - cincai jelah. Whatever the outcome I couldn't be bothered. I can control these impulses when I'm working, but at home it's simply chaotic. One day you can see me on my knees scrubbing the toilet bowl with an old toothbrush, and the next day you can see all my clothes scattered on the floor. Maybe I just switch off when I couldn't get the perfection that I desire so I just let it go? Same goes with my PR skills. You know how some men fantasise of marrying a librarian that turns into a minx in the bedroom? Well... that's me, and it doesn't work that well in the real world because the librarian and the minx always get into fights and the librarian always win due to public pressure. Hahaha, that's just an analogy. Is that the real me? You have to know me to know that and you wouldn't have asked if you know me and getting to know me is the difficult part. My friend Awil said long2 time ago, when looking at my parents, he can hear the choir singing in the background and mist coming out from the ground they walked on, kira macam very serene gitu. But when I came into the picture, crrrzzzz!!! noises and lights that you have at the end of TV transmissions! Sampai hati ko Awil... he said I'm too complex to be understood, kejap baik kejap gila2, macam Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. But one thing good about me is that I have a good clear head on me. My advice is always reliable, only my temperament is unpredictable. But nobody's perfect right? Now I've mellowed with age, not so hot headed anymore and more subdued. But that's a catch-22 situation. I'm more at peace with myself but I've lost my edge, my survival instincts. That's what got me in this mess in the first place. I was blindsided by love. Need to learn how to balance everything up now. Wow, I've written quite a lot actually. Well, I've complained to my 'muse' (ok2, I'll say ur name Si MangkukPudding! Hahaha... gotcha!) that the thought of going home has anesthetized my mind to the point of coma, that I don't have anything to write about. So Nas said since I need to suffer in order to write, I'll be tortured when I got back home. Not the painful one, no - I don't need that since I almost OD'd on that one here, but a sweet torture... Don't have a clue what it is but looking forward to find out. Anyway, thanks for the inspiration and jangan kenakan aku sudah....

Family Poem

2007-05-21T01:09:00.000+09:30

I Love You All©

By Lamar H. Clack

I have lived to love

and loved to live

but when the love is gone

will my life be over

My heart is filled with love and joy

it beats with every stroke of laughter

My family and friends are the reason I live

When they all move on will my life be gone

Every holiday, every moment I see them

piece by piece my heart will be complete

its like a puzzle of my heart

every person makes a piece

and every piece creates the puzzle

as the years go on

as I grow older in ageI lose a piece

I'm still alive until the last piece

when that piece is gone I will miss you all

for my heart stops beating

my life has come to an end

for this reason I tell you now

every salty tear, every whining weep

is just a cry from inside trying to say

I LOVE YOU ALL

Mis Tres Amigos Queridos

2007-05-21T01:01:00.000+09:30

Mis Tres Amigos Queridos
(My 3 beloved friends - The 3 significant N's)

Thank you for your friendship.
Thank you for our friendship
For it means so much to me,
Your kindness and understanding
And loving ways you share so free.
Thank you for being beside me
When I needed someone that cared,
And thank you for all your loyalty
For the times together we shared.
Thank you for our friendship
For it's something even money can't buy,
Thank you for holding me tightly
When there was a need I had to cry.
Thank you for always smiling
When I couldn't smile at all,
And thank you for boosting my ego
For the times I felt so small.
Your friendship I cherish so deeply
So this message to you I send,
May God bless and always watch over you
And may you always remain my friend.

Peace Begins with Me

2007-05-21T00:54:00.000+09:30

Peace Begins with Me by Richard D. Marco III

Peace begins with me

Starting over and breaking free.

Peace begins with me

Opening my eyes and beginning to see.

Peace begins with me

Curious about what I am going to be.

Peace begins with me

Knowing I no longer have to flee.

Peace begins with me

Having self dignity.

Peace begins with me

Taking on more responsibility.

Peace begins with me

Because peace is being happy.

And this is why peace begins with me!

A tribute to the people whom I love

2007-05-20T21:33:00.000+09:30

I think I'm having a writer's block. I have nothing to talk about and that's pretty impressive for a busy head like mine! That's one of the the downside of being happy. Happy days are here, finally! Happiness makes u think of nothing (well at least for me). For once my mind is quiet as if in a deep slumber. Nevertheless, I do have an obligation to make my mind work. I'm feeling happy cause now I'm just counting the days that my feet will touch Malaysian soil. While thinking that I'm going to be home soon, I realised that I would not have lasted this long without the help of my loved ones. Mak and Ayah especially, if I don't say much to you two its not that I'm ungrateful, it's just that what you have done for me truly are beyond words. Nothing I say will suffice. I'm in awe with your generosity and patience. Maybe the best way to surmise how I feel about you guys is you're what I aspires to be and hope I can have what you two have in the future with my own family. Right now I can only say a simple thank you. My brothers and sisters, for sharing the sentiments and bleed as if they were cut together with me in my emotional turmoil. Thank you guys, hope I would be able to return the favor one day! (That's what family are for I guess) At the same time, I noticed that 3 of my most treasured friends back home in Malaysia has the letter N as their initials! Nora, Nadia and Nas. How weird can that be? These 3 people have suffered endless hours (day and nite!) of me ranting, crying, cursing, all those 18SX stuff (too much violence, colourful and unsuitable language). Things that you can only tell a friend but not to your family because they're too protective of you and you don't want to hurt their feelings or worry too much in the process. Thank you for going out of your way during my trials and tribulations to help me understand, overcome and heal even though we've only known each other for a short while.....

Cigarette Break...

2007-05-19T22:02:00.001+09:30

It rained again this morning. Feel very sleepy cause sleep late last nite. Breakfast was ready. Last nite UKWho slept right after dinner, wake up at 930pm, went out and came back at 230am. Didn't know where he went. Don't know, don't care. Rosh asked me whether I could cut his hair today. Sure why not, like I've got tons of work to do here. So while cutting his hair with a #3 length clipper I asked him (with a bated breath) is he planning to take us to go anywhere? He said maybe, depends on his schedule. I told him if he's not planning to take us anywhere might as well we just go home and astonishingly, he asked me when would I like to go home. I paused and said Aish's birthday is next month so I was thinking of making it a double soiree, so that both boys could celebrate their birthday at the same time (Izz's birthday is in Nov). Then we would go back to Malaysia in July. He said OK. He'll make all the arrangements after he came back from his study tour in Indonesia. Keeping mum, I continued cutting his hair. This is just too good to be true! But lets not put our hopes too high as anything can happen between now and July. Maybe he just say what I wanted to hear to avoid going to work bald as I was holding a very sharp hair clipper! But at least what transpired just now is like a spot of rain after a long dry spell. Just have to keep faith that everything will work out fine. It's Saturday and we have 2 invitations today. One is to attend a birthday party for the daughter of Rosh's friend and the other one is a gathering for all military personnel who are here for a course. Rosh went to college after breakfast and I got the kids ready. He came back at 2pm and and we head off to The Sanctuary, Lyneham. But on the way we took a detour cause he haven't got anything to give to the birthday girl. My hubby is so hopeless! He should have told me earlier so that I could buy the present and save us this last minute trip! We managed to stop by at Canberra Centre (after going round and round in circles for 45 mins!) and I jumped out to buy the gift. I got her a MagCliks - Interactive Jewellery Making, contains approx 1000 beads to design & create charms for your bags, also make stunning necklaces, bracelets or brooches. Cool stuff... I don't know whether they already have this in Malaysia. So we finally arrived at The Sanctuary at 4pm. There were lots of familiar faces there. Osman and Kak Misnah (the host) were quite worried as we're so late. Most of the guest already left. They served Char Kuew Tiaw, (Kuew Tiaw Sany in Bayan Lepas is the best!) Mee Rebus, (mmm..... teringat Gurney Drive lagi, sedapnya...) fried chicken, Trifle and choc chip muffins. The food was a bit cold but it's our fault. Anyway, I and Kak Misnah get along famously despite the fact that this is the first time I met her. She's a nice lady, a primary school teacher and have 3 daughters age 16, 9 and 8. We chitchatted until it was about time to go for the next invitation at 550pm. We went together as Rosh was not sure of which route to take. Arrived at the Malaysian Embassy at 615. Met the same faces there. They have invited the wife of the Malaysian Ambassador as the guest of honour. The reason they had this gathering was to get to know each other and to make all the Malaysians here feel more like home. The food was great, they had a Karaoke session (very Malaysian!) and I made a lot of new friends there. But it still doesn't feel like home...

Malaysian Get Together

Good Neighbours are Hard to Find

2007-05-18T20:22:00.000+09:30

It rained heavily last nite. It started from 130am, i know because I was still awake when it started. Luckily it stopped raining when I went to send Izz to school. Corinne came over at 1025am. We've planned to go and visit Marion at her new house. Before that I asked Corinne whether I could use her dryer or not because my laundry are still wet due to the rain. She said ok, just hand it over and she'll do it for me. We arrived at Marion's and it drizzled. Gave her the house warming gift we got for her - an indoor plant and some tidbits for us to share during our tête-à-tête. The house was exquisite! 5 rooms, an airy living room, a generous kitchen and a backyard complete with a cubby house plus a garden shed. I simply love it. The tall windows and high ceilings... Wiley is very happy, now that he has all those space to himself. Marion told me she had a disastrous move, that she already packed her bags 3 times and was ready to take a flight back to Brisbane. The roof is leaking, the toilet won't flush, the dryer is busted, she couldn't find the kid's stuff and Craig flooded the house by not plugging the dishwasher in properly! Poor sausage... But at least now the house looked presentable. Aish was having a tour of the house on his own, crawling gleefully in the wide open space. Our buzz session lasted for about 2 hours and it was time to go because I have to pick up Izz from school. We've set-up a date where we will go out for lunch and watch a movie together, ladies only! No kids! We agreed to do it on 3rd June. Went back, stop by at Ana's house. She told me since it's raining, she and her hubby would collect Izz and I could just stay home with the baby. Thanks a lot neighbour! Later in the evening, Kye and Brandon came over to play with Izz. Corinne came by to call them to go home for dinner and gave me my laundry. They were dry and neatly folded, ALL of them. She is a gem! Corinne, I'm forever indebted to you! Sure gonna miss my neighbours when I go back to Malaysia ...

Streeton Drive Posse'

Foo Fighters Best Of You

2007-05-17T23:19:00.001+09:30

Need to break free...

MIRAGE

2007-05-17T21:28:00.000+09:30

by: Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)

HE hope I dreamed of was a dream,
Was but a dream; and now I wake
Exceeding comfortless, and worn, and old,
For a dream's sake.

I hang my harp upon a tree,
A weeping willow in a lake;
I hang my silenced harp there, wrung and snapt
For a dream's sake.

Lie still, lie still, my breaking heart;
My silent heart, lie still and break:
Life, and the world, and mine own self, are changed
For a dream's sake.

Dodol n Pulut Serikaya Ekspres...

2007-05-17T20:48:00.000+09:30

Masih dalam mood bahasa Melayu (tapi bahasa Melayu yg dah rosak akibat selalu sangat sms dan chat ... huhuhu). Isnin lepas ada morning coffee di rumah Saadia Inam dari Iraq. Aku tak pegi sebab budak2 sume batuk dan selsema. Jadi tak nak berjangkit kat anak org lain pulak. Dia org ada buat demo macam mana nak buat dodol dan pulut serikaya dgn microwave. Wah... rugi la plak tak pegi. Tapi si Ana dari Indon yg baik hati telah menyalinkan resepinya untuk aku. Terima kasih Ana! Cuba la kalau nak, aku tak sempat lagi. Tunggu budak2 ni sumer baik baru aman nak membeli barang2 kat Asian Store.

DODOL

Bahan2:

500gm tepung pulut

200ml santan pekat

1 buku gula melaka (larutkan dgn air)

Semua bahan dicampur jadi satu (di blender). Lalu dimasak dgn microwave selama 5 minit. Setelah 2 minit keluarkan sebentar, kacau lalu dimasak kembali sampai habis 5 minit itu tadi.

PULUT SERIKAYA

Bahan2:

3 cwn pulut (dicuci sampai bersih lalu ditambahkan air sedikit)

5 biji telur (diblender)

Garam dan sedikit santan lalu dimasak dgn microwave selama 20 minit

Setengah buku gula melaka dimasak dgn air lalu ditambahkan 2 sudu besar gula pasir (ikut rasa)

Setelah larut disaring dan tambahkan 2 sudu besar tepung jagung, telur yg telah diblender dan diadun hingga sebati.

Tambahkan bahan yg sudah sebati itu ke atas pulut yg sudah dimasak dan masak kembali ke dalam microwave selama 5 minit.

Macam senang je kan... Jadi cubalah dan bagi feedback how it turn out... Kalau tak jadi nanti aku marah si Ana tu...

English or Malay...?

2007-05-17T00:25:00.000+09:30

Ada orang yang bertanya.. kenapa aku menulis blog dalam bahasa Inggeris? Sebenarnya pada aku, bahasa Inggeris tu lebih sesuai sebab ianya ringkas dan tepat pada sasaran and I express myself better in English (tak pedulik la grammar betul ke tak, janji apa yg nak disampaikan dapat difahami oleh pembaca sasaran). Bahasa Melayu intonasinya lebih halus dan indah, sesuai untuk menukilankan benda2 yang berseni dan abstrak. (See, I write in a different tone when I speak in my mother tongue! So funny...) Bukannya aku tak pandai nak bercakap bahasa Melayu, tapi masa menulis Blog ialah satu escapism (lemahnya bahasa...) untuk meluahkan semua yg terpendam di nurani tanpa perlu mengaku yg semua itu ialah aku - segala yg indah, jelik, hebat, pelik, cinta, duka, ceria, nista. Kalau dulu masa sekolah cikgu selalu cakap bila membaca karangan aku macam membaca suratkhabar, semua elemen ada siap dgn bunga2 bahasa lagi, jadi mesti handal la jugak Bahasa aku ni. Bab berpantun lagi la aku terer (masuk bakul angkat sendiri) kemahiran yg di sought after sampai bos (identiti terpaksa dirahsiakan... huhuhu sori bos!) pernah sms pukul 230 pg suruh prepare pantun utk dia berucap masa merasmikan rumah anak yatim di Kedah dulu. Ini semua kerana aku pernah membuat pembentangan selama 15 min untuk summarize hasil kursus Kaya Budi selama 5 hari di Kl dalam bentuk pantun. Begini ceritanya.... Setiap kumpulan akan diberi markah, jadi oleh kerana isi semua kumpulan lebih kurang sama, aku pulak bosan (kat bilik tak der TV time tu) dan aku pun nak 'menyerlahkan' kumpulan aku, jadi terbitlah idea untuk membuat pembentangan yg merangkumi semua yg telah dipelajari selama 5 hari itu dalam bentuk pantun. Jenuh jugak nak menyiapkannya, tapi glamor nye pasal, sanggup... Semua terpaku dan tak de sorang pun tidor masa aku buat pembentangan. Nanti kalau aku jumpa balik pantun2 tu aku post kat Blog ni... Korang nilai lah sendiri. Lagi satu kalau aku menulis dalam bahasa Melayu rasa macam segan, sebab macam membuka pekung di badan sendiri (walaupun badan tak berpekung). Kalau aku menulis dalam bahasa Inggeris, aku rasa macam menulis pasal seseorg yg aku kenal rapat, jadi laju jer meluncur perkataan2 kat dalam Blog tu. Ramai jugak yg bertanya macam mana aku boleh terer sangat speaking London ni (walaupun sebenarnya bukanlah terer sangat, macam terer je....). Dulu masa aku sekolah kat Sek. Ren. Keb. Durian Daun Melaka, aku selalu balik lambat sebab kena tunggu mak atau ayah datang ambik balik sekolah. Jadi masa aku dihabiskan di perpustakaan sekolah (chewah... budak baik la konon...) Buku yang banyak ialah buku bahasa Inggeris sebab buku bahasa Melayu kebanyakannya dah dipinjam org. Jadi aku pun mengadap la buku2 tu. Mula2 memang tgk gambar je la, tapi lama2 nak tau jugak apa cerita nya kan. Jadi aku pun dibesarkan dgn buku2 Enid Blyton, ensaiklopedia dan kamus. Faktor pemangkin yg terbesar sekali untuk kenapa aku suka membaca buku bahasa Inggeris ialah Ayah dan Mak aku. Ayah tu macam my walking dictionary - kamus bergerak. Rajin jer dia melayan semua perkataan yg aku tak faham - banyak pulak tu. Kadang2 tu dekat 10 kali tanya, bukannya nak ingat tapi 10 kali jugak la ayah aku menjawab. Kalau tgk cerita kat TV pun, kalau aku tak faham apa yg di perkatakan ayah akan terangkan. Tak pernah sekali pun dia mengabaikan pertanyaan aku. Kalau ada perkataan yang dia tak pasti, dia akan cari maknanya dan bagitau aku. Sekarang ni aku pulak menjadi walking dictionary dia. Mak pulak terer berbahas buktinya... kalau nak lawan cakap dia mesti kalah nye! Tapi memang mak aku dulu banyak kali jadi wakil sekolah untuk bahas dan pidato. Kalau bersyair ke mengaji ke perghh... sedap... (bab ni aku tak berbakat... suara buluh betong!) Bila buat kerja sekolah mak akan check sedap ke tak ayat yg aku gunakan walaupun mak tak berapa pandai bahasa Inggeris tapi she really makes the effort. Kalau pasal buku mak dan ayah tak kisah, mahal pun tak per janji mesti baca. Buku bahasa Inggeris pulak mahal tapi mereka sanggup keluarkan duit untuk menyokong minat aku masa tu. Setiap hari Jumaat mesti bawak aku dan adik2 pergi Perpustakaan Negeri (sedih tengok keadaannya sekarang, macam mana la org nak minat membaca..?) dan hobi masa lapang kami - melepak kat kedai buku. Tabiat yg sampai sekarang aku terbawak2 sampai anak pun pandai tergolek2 baca buku kat Kinokuniya, Borders, MPH, TIMES (besar, selesa, banyak pilihan dan tak der org nak marah kalau kita baca buku jer dan tak beli apa pun...) atau mana2 kedai pun tak kisah janji ada buku... kedai mamak pun boleh... Terima kasih sekali lagi Mak dan Ayah for the greatest gift of all - minat membaca yg aku rasa sangat berharga dan bukan senang nak dipupuk. Ini satu lagi habit yg kadang2 melucukan. Aku ni kena sentiasa membaca (dalam kepala sentiasa berputar, cara untuk berhenti berfikir - muzik, TV atau tidur), tak boleh duduk termenung sajer je jadi aku akan baca apa saja bahan bacaan yg aku jumpa, atas LRT, kat klinik, dalam keta dan mana2 saja. Buku, majalah dan surat khabar cina pun aku tibai... Majalah dan komik (manga) Jepun pun banyak dalam koleksi jadi jangan tergezut kalau aku mati nanti harta peninggalan aku yg paling byk sekali ialah buku2 aku (selain dari kasut dan beg tangan hehehe). Nasib korang la nak, nak harta carik la sendiri...

Primitive, yet Potent

2007-05-16T22:11:00.000+09:30

Welcome to Your Daily Forecast for May 16, 2007

Your Birth Date: 11/26/1974
Venus Square Pluto
May 15, 2007 to May 16, 2007

At this point in time, your desires won't just be powerful -- they'll be impossible to ignore. You may feel like you're able to resist any temptation, but you haven't seen what the universe has been cooking up for you. There is a delicious dish in store!

Love
Venus Square Pluto
May 15, 2007 to May 16, 2007

Duties and responsibilities -- how very tedious! -- will seem to weigh you down. Do your duty for as long as you can. Then move along, with no apologies.

Energy
Mars Quincunx Uranus
May 14, 2007 to May 16, 2007

Do something you've been thinking about for a long time. Whether it's yoga, line dancing or a watercolor class doesn't matter. The point is to try something new.

That's what my astrological forecast has to say about me for today. I'm an avid fan of metaphysical stuff ie- astrology, numerology, spirituals, paranormals (tapi penakut giler hehehe) etc. Tapi tak melanggar akidah lagi tau. Just an insatiable interest to learn about something that is beyond our 5 senses. What the forecast has been saying about my life has been hitting the jackpot ie today in particular. Throughout my life I've always tried to understand the human behaviour. Environment, upbringing and religion does play a major role in why somebody behaves in a particular way. But I noticed star signs and numbers does contribute in what makes a person ticks. I've got loads of books on these areas and most of the time they really do help to make sense out of the nonsense. Because if you've noticed - Life is stranger than Fiction.

Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around...

2007-05-14T22:16:00.001+09:30

I really do hope so... ASAP!

Manic Monday

2007-05-14T22:10:00.000+09:30

Sent SMS's to mak n ayah at 217am on Sunday morning. Stayed up late cause I wanted the to be first to wish Happy Birthday to ayah and Happy Mother's Day to mak. I thought they were asleep but guess I was wrong cause both of them replied promptly. I just love them both so much but in the past, I thought they don't love me. Not that they hate me or what but just that it seems that they are always against me. We're always at loggerheads and whatever I do, I just seem unable to please them or make them proud of me. I've tried so hard and too hard until I gave up. I'm the prodigal daughter. It has been a constant battle which I chose to just back off, and leave them alone. . But now I know that's how they show their love. They're old skool. I'm their first born so it was their learning process too. My brothers and sisters fares better than me in that department but I guess that what makes who I am today. I have such a thick skin now hahaha... Generally I think I'm a well rounded and a good person, and I have to thank both my parents for that. Thank you so much mak and ayah for the lessons in life, for doing a good job as a parent and for the constant support that you've given me all this while even though I'm too blind (blame the hormones and the generation gap!) to see it. Sayang sangat both of you and sorry for all the sleep that you've lost over me! Sunday was Mother's Day. Had a quiet Sunday. No flowers, no cards, no greetings, nothing. Just a deafening silence. Precisely what I've expected and yet I still feel disappointed... Silly girl. Still pining for unrequited love. The problem is, it's still legally mine! But I can't get what's mine because it was given away to someone else without my knowledge. Need to get this crap out of my life. It's not healthy for me or the kids. Went to Woden's garage sale. Bought the kids 50 cents clothes, damn cheap and still new! Rosh wanted to buy a watch for AUD40 but when he checked it, the date couldn't function properly. So didn't buy it. Later went to Coles at Westfield to buy groceries. Met Kak Sal (Mej Junaidi's wife). Bought some more winter clothing for me. Had lunch at home then Rosh went straight to his college. Went to Corinne's house. Gave her the Mother's Day card and gift. She practically cried when she finished reading the card! She gave me a great big hug and both of us were crying! Brandon was giving us the 'look'. You know... the "why am I living with these mad ladies" look. I was so touched and glad that I made the effort. I made the card and gift myself and it doesn't cost much but it came from my heart. I'm glad that she understands how much she means to me. Went back home and on the way met Marion! She came back because the phone company didn't connect the phone line to her new house, so she had to come back here to use the phone since the reception in her new house is bad for hp's. Gave Marion her card and gift and the same thing happened! At least some people know how to show their appreciation! Called Ayah, sang him Happy Birthday song with Izz, SMS Mother's Day wishes to family and friends, later had dinner and off he goes to the Weston Club...
It's Monday and my brood is down with the flu! Last nite I had a killer migraine. I feel like crying cause the boys were sick and now I'm sick. My body ache and my head feels like it's going to burst at any time. Nobody to help me out here. How I wish I was back home in Malaysia, where I'll be surrounded with people who loves me. It's silly but I still hope that somehow or rather UKWho would at least show some concern for my well being if not for my feelings anymore. But he didn't and that's expected and yet I still feel sad... It's a vicious cycle and it's driving me nuts!! But thanks to somebody (sorry for the midnite call mate!) I managed to get through the nite. Both Aish and Izz had runny noses and were coughing badly early in the morning. I was lucky cause the migraine is gone and my leg is not as sore as before. Had a long soak in the hot tub and feeling much better. Marion dropped by to say hello. Natalya and Kai played with Izz and then Kye came over. They had so much fun playing with the car speed launcher. The DA's officer came over and handed in an invitation for a Get Together on the 15th at the Malaysian Embassy. Had black pepper crab for dinner and we went to our own separate world even though we stay in the same house. Just need to control my feelings and not let him get on my nerve. Looking forward for a better tomorrow and Mr. Sniffles Snuffles could you please just go away...? Pretty please, with sugar on top...

What Goes Around, Comes Around

2007-05-14T21:40:00.000+09:30

What Goes Around... / ...Comes Around Interlude
FutureSex/LoveSound - 2006

Hey girl, is he everything you wanted in a man?
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you babe
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong

*Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?

+Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...

#What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around

Now girl, I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you were moving on now
And maybe I should do the same
Funny thing about that is
I was ready to give you my name
Thought it was me and you, babe
And now, it's all just a shame
And I guess I was wrong

Repeat *

Is this the way things are going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around

That you were going to make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find

Repeat #

Repeat *

Repeat +

Repeat #

[Comes Around interlude:]

Let me paint this picture for you, baby

You spend your nights alone
And he never comes home
And every time you call him
All you get's a busy tone
I heard you found out
That he's doing to you
What you did to me
Ain't that the way it goes

You cheated girl
My heart bleeds girl
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
Just a classic case
A scenario
Tale as old as time
Girl you got what you deserved

And now you want somebody
To cure the lonely nights
You wish you had somebody
That could come and make it right

But girl I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy
You'll see

Repeat #

Mr. Sniffles Snuffles....

2007-05-12T23:21:00.000+09:30

Couldn't sleep last nite. The sadness that I've been suppressing all this while has surfaced. I cried the whole nite until I fell asleep. Woke up and I still have that heavy feeling in my heart. I hate it when that happens! How does one control the mechanism of the heart truly baffles me. The head is able to reason yet the heart has a mind of its own. Tried to wake Izz up. We had a date with Corinne today, to see Kye and Brandon play soccer for their clubs. Izz refused to wake up and I think he's not feeling well. He's been restless too last nite, having difficulty in breathing. "Mak... nape Izz tak leh napas..?" Yep, he got the sniffles. Guess the 'sickness' is contagious. Had to cancel the date with Corinne. Izz was so upset because he was looking forward to play soccer with Kye on the field. Rosh literally pushed the medicine down Izz throat. Every one is 'under the weather'. It's only 8am and already so much drama... Rosh went out to meet his friend and straight to college after that. I need to do something to distract myself from having another 'crying episode'. So I decided to make Soto for lunch - from scratch. However, I managed to have it done within 2 hrs. Cleaned the house - again! Talk to friends (thank you for knocking some sense into my thick skull! And for making me smile again...) feel a bit better. Izz ate a lot of Soto, 3 servings in fact! The kids slept until 4 pm (due to medication). Kye came over to ask Izz to come out and ride their bikes together. Rosh called and said not to cook dinner - he wants to take us out. So got the kids ready and off we go! We went to Thai House in Cooleman Court. The place was packed. We had vege fried rice, braised mix vege with chili and basil and Tom Yam Koong. The food was so-so, I like LemonGrass Restaurant better. After dinner, took a stroll around the block and bumped into a fancy dress party! The theme is Medieval I think, looking at the costumes. I just love these parties! The dressing up part especially. Pity we couldn't go in or otherwise I'd be all over the place snapping pics. Went home, Rosh went out again. Took some pics of myself to upload on the net. Managed to complete Corinne's and Marion's Mother's Day cards and gifts. Hope the sun will be smiling early on tomorrow... and no more Mr. Sniffles Snuffles.

Anorexic Girl

2007-05-11T20:41:00.001+09:30

I don't want to end up like this!!!

I love you mak! (Bony ass and all...)

2007-05-11T19:29:00.000+09:30

Today is a big day for Izz. The school has invited all the mums to be in school at 12.30 for a special Mother's Day Presentation. He has been practicing his songs at home. We made special origami flowers and a Mother's Day card for Wendy yesterday. He gave the card and flower to Wendy and she loved it! She gave Izz a big hug and put the card on her table. Went back to school at 12.10pm. Wore the red dress and boots I bought yesterday! Izz told me to 'dress up' cause Wendy is going to take our pictures. When I arrived at school, the children were still playing outside. Izz was playing the Monkey Bar and now he was able to swing himself to the last bar! Wendy called the children to come inside and get ready for their presentation. The mums were seated in a semi circle around the classroom. Their programme is as follows: - 1. Singing 2. Dancing 3. Reading 4. Eating 5. Surprise for Mum! Eating time is when every child gave their mum a Fairy Biscuits that they made themselves... how sweet! (No kidding! The bread is literally covered with rainbow sprinkles!) The surprise was a portrait of mum made by each of our child. We had fun singing, dancing and eating together. Aish joined the ruckus too, clapping and making noises. These are the moments I'll treasure forever... Later on that day I managed to finish the Mother's Day card I've been making for Marion and Corinne. Did some origami flowers and boxes for them too. Kye came over to play with Izz. I think he loves it here because of the 'free flow' of snacks and fruit juice... hahaha. Speaking of food, my weight is my main concern right now since it has plummeted to an all time low of 44kg. I used to be around 47-50kg before this but now I seemed unable to go beyond 45kg. Corinne has been saying that I might 'disappear' any time soon if I don't gain more weight. I'm quite flabbergasted since I do eat normally, I eat chocolates, ice creams, junk food anytime I feel like eating them and I'm not a picky eater. I took a long hard look at myself at the mirror and I do look quite thin but still 'presentable'. I can still see some places that I wish were smaller. Not satisfied with that, I stripped down to my skivvies and took some pictures of myself. The result was quite dreadful... I do look BONY. Arrggghhh!!! How did I came to this?? When people told me that I'm terribly skinny I just laugh it off. I feel OK, I eat anything and everything, still able to do my normal activities, and finally able to fit in nicely into a size 8 stretch jeans, so I think I'm looking fabulous. But those pictures tell me a different story. It reminded me of an advert I saw on the telly some time ago about eating disorder. I don't want to turn into an Anorexic Girl! I don't think I have an eating disorder, or do I??? I do love my old self, round and voluptuous. I need to put some meat on myself and fast before I really do disappear. Help......!!!!! I need some practical suggestions.... ASAP!!!

Mother's Day

Melancholic desolation

2007-05-10T19:15:00.000+09:30

Got the car on Tuesday. Sent Rosh to college. Took the kids to Hyperdome Tuggeranong. Big sale at K-Mart. Got few stuff for the house, me n the kids. Izz spent 1 hr plus at the toys department. The rule still applies - can see but cannot buy. Poor kid... will compensate him when we go back to Malaysia. Too much hassle to bring back all the toys home. Went for Wallabies jersey hunting. Special request. Finally got it. Bought additional souvenirs for mak. Had lunch at Tuggeranong Park. Izz was so happy that he finally got to go to the park. The weather was chilly and dreary, however the autumn view of the park was... picturesque. Just like what you always see on the postcards or calendars. Went home, Kye and Brandon were already playing in front of the house. Later on both of them were in the house playing computer games. It was Fish Head Curry for dinner that nite. Called Corinne up to watch over the kids for a while because I need to pick up Rosh at his college. The house was a hive of activities. I was feeling a little bit melancholic. Strange how you can have all these noises and people around you and yet you can feel so alone and empty at the same time. The more you try to fill it up the more barren you feel. Sometimes I feel so helpless, like I'm drowning in a fathomless sea of despair. It's just like if I am not careful enough I would be sucked into its depth unknowingly and could not escape... ever. I'm just putting up a brave face to the world so that people would not see how vulnerable I am right now, I just don't want them to worry too much about me. I think I've caused enough distress in the lives of those that I love. Ahhh.. affairs of the heart. Agony and ecstasy are the same intense feelings but for different emotions - hate and love. The person who said "It's better to have love and lost than not to love at all" must have been a Psycho! or a Sadist! Who wants to experience grief, torture, betrayal, anguish, despair...all in one big swoop? OK .. enough! Keep it together girl!! We don't want me to do a Sukey-La la here in Oz.

Today, Ana Ariffin (from Indonesia) asked me to accompany her to do some shopping. We used her car since her husband went for an overseas study tour. Her kid and mine are in the same class in preschool. Sent the kids to preschool. Then we went to the Asian Store in Phillips. The prices are indeed cheaper there and there are more choices. Later we went to the Salvos nearby. I got a leather boots for AUD5! In my size! Finally... it's a miracle! Ana got a few stuff for herself and the kids. 6 items of clothing for AUD 6! Why don't we have this kind of store back home? Later we went to Hyperdome Tuggeranong (again!) and just browsing around when we saw this shop - Jeans West, was having a major sale! 2 dresses for AUD20! 3 tops for AUD10! Well, you know the relationship between women and sales... we're suckers for them! So after trying heaps of stuff, I got a leopard print, halter neck dress and a red shirt dress. Ana got a coco wrap-around dress and the same red shirt dress. It's OK since she'll be back in Indonesia and I'm in Malaysia so the possibility of both of us wearing the same thing at the same place is minute. Went to Woolworth for groceries and guess what? I left my groceries after paying for them! I just realised it halfway to the car park... That shows how much my mind is in disarray. Asked Ana to look after Aish and I rushed back to the store. Phew.. lucky it was still there. Dropped by to the Asian store nearby to look for Kari Cap Burung Nuri. Couldn't get it at the one in Phillip. Pick up the kids from school and went home. Today is Marion's moving day. Went to her house and it's already half empty. Left her after saying hello and passing the key to Corinne's house. Didn't want to disturb her. Izz went to sleep straight away. I started preparing for dinner. Today it's ribs again with mushroom soup, garlic bread and salad. Heard a knock at the door. It was Corrine and she has locked herself out of the house! She wants to get her keys but I told her I already given it to Marion! She panicked because her car keys were in the house and she need to pick up her kids from school in 15 mins! Gave her Marion's phone no. cause I guess she's already in her new house , arranging her stuff. But lo and behold! She's still in the house! Lucky for Corinne! Izz woke up and went to Corinne's house to play with Kye. After cooking, went to Corinne's house to pick up Izz n to borrow an icepack cause my left knee is killing me. Every time I put pressure on it there's a sharp pain and it has been three days since it first started. However, physical pain is something that I can endure and control, nothing like my bleeding heart...

Corinne Bailey Rae - Trouble Sleeping

2007-05-10T17:52:00.001+09:30

The song reflects how I'm feeling right now

Corrine Bailey Rae - Like A Star

2007-05-10T17:51:00.001+09:30

This song is for all the people who are by my side in my times of need. U know who u are... my stars...

To my stars, love u n thank you...

2007-05-09T22:40:00.000+09:30

LIKE A STAR

by CORINNE BAILEY RAE

#Just like a star across my sky,

Just like an angel off the page,

You have appeared to my life,

Feel like I'll never be the same,

Just like a song in my heart,

Just like oil on my hands,

Oh.. I do love you,

*Still i wonder why it is,

I don't argue like this,

With anyone but you,

We do it all the time,

Blowing out my mind,

You've got this look I can't describe,

You make me feel like I'm alive,

When everything else is a fade,

Without a doubt you're on my side,

Heaven has been away too long,

Can't find the words to write this song,

Oh.,.. Your love,

Repeat*

I have come to understand,

The way it is,

It's not a secret anymore,

'cause we've been through that before,

From tonight I know that you're the only one,

I've been confused and in the dark,

Now I understand,

I wonder why it is,

I don't argue like this,

With anyone but you,

I wonder why it is,

I wont let my guard down,

For anyone but you

We do it all the time,

Blowing out my mind,

Repeat #

The Red Herring...

2007-05-07T21:33:00.000+09:30

Phew... had a very busy week. Izz started his 2nd schooling term last Wednesday. Rosh is in his Research Week now so he volunteered to send Izz to school every day. Kye and Brandon are now honorary members of our family. It seems that we are always in each others houses every other day. Mi casa es su casa. Met Rachel at Corinne's house. She's willing to help regarding 'the situation' I'm in now. So I'm glad I've got some sort of back up plan now. Throughout this week UKWho has been very nice to us. UKWho is trying his best to schmooze everybody including Marion and Corinne! Thursday nite Rosh 'had' to go to The Club so he said he'll buy dinner for us. He bought Subway for me and Macdonald for Izz. He went at 7pm and came back at around 1.30am. Friday, Izz fell while on our way back home from school. The incident caused me to overlook the fact that I had to do the school laundry for this week. He grazed his knees and it was more a case of embarrassment rather than actual pain because he was up and running after a few moments of 'drama'. After the kids went to sleep, I went back to school to take the laundry and guess what? Another parent (Tim) has volunteered to do my washing... how embarrassing. On Saturday we went to Hyperdome Tuggeranong to do our groceries. While we were there, we went to the other end of the shopping mall and 'got stuck' there. Rosh and Izz at The Good Guys n I'm with Aish at the Stitch n Craft shop. Bought some sewing stuff that I couldn't get back home. Bought some stuff at Go-Lo, met a Malaysian family. Their daughter is at the University of Canberra. We ate at East Meet West for lunch. Rosh had fried seafood udon and I had seafood noodle soup. Was on our way to Woolworths when we saw a store having sale on leather jackets. Rosh asked me whether I'm interested and asked me to try some on. So I did try a few on and took a liking on one long, zippered jacket that reminds me of Trinity from the Matrix. Hmm.. I just got a thing with leather n stuff... Anyway he bought me the jacket and said it's an early Mother's Day gift. Ok... Right after that we went straight to Mawson to buy our meat. That nite I made BBQ ribs, mashed potatoes and stir fried spinach with portobello mushrooms. On Sunday Rosh took us for a trip to Yarralumla for an 'Autumn stroll'. We took some pictures of autumn scenery there and at the Commonwealth Park. The leaves are simply beautiful with a wide spectrum of red and yellow. Took some pictures of the Canberra mosque and some old churches. Nothing religious, I just love old buildings especially those with Gothic architectures. Had lunch at Kopitiam in Kingston. The owner is from Kuching, Sarawak and has been here for the past 26 years. Rosh had Laksa Lemak and I had Char Kuew Tiaw. Izz had kebabs. The food was good but nothing beats the real thing. I miss the food at Gurney Drive in Penang. Just thinking about the food there made my mouth water. Yummm.... Went back home, Rosh went to the College to finish his work. Corinne came over and invited me to her house. Marion was already in front of Corinne's house with a tray of food. So we're having a ladies tea by the garage now are we..? We had our chit-chat while watching the kids play. Then we went inside the house to drool over a cake that Brandon has made that afternoon. It was a white chocolate marshmallow mud cake. The cake looked superfrigilicious! I'm impressed that Brandon made it himself! (Yes, with the help of his friend's mom...) We had a feast and was entertained by Brandon and his guitar. I told Corinne that if I have a daughter I would have 'booked' Brandon to be my future son in law, but Marion said she already beat me to it 'cause Natalya has been telling her that she wants to marry Brandon! And right at that moment, as if on cue, Natalya walked in to the room looking for Brandon. We laughed our heads off... Aish was mesmerised by the songs that Brandon strummed. He simply stand there, transfixed at the melody and his tiny fingers are copying Brandon's movement. Soo cute! We lost track of time and by the time we went home it was already 7.15pm and Rosh was already home, and surprise, surprise. dinner is served. He made fried fish and stir fry ladies fingers. This morning, Izz wanted to have a 'swim' in the bathtub so all three of us went for a swim in the tub. Hilarious! We went for playtime at Marion's house and came back for lunch. Later in the evening the kids went out to play. Aish had a blast playing with Brandon. He's such a sweetheart! Today for dinner I made stir fry chicken with ginger, Tempura prawn and mushroom, and spinach soup. Rosh went out after dinner to meet an air force friend whom just arrived here for a short course. Wonder how long this facade is going to last... before all hell breaks loose...

Sushi anyone...

2007-05-01T22:34:00.000+09:30

Sent Izz to Marion's house for a play over. As usual, I ended there too. She needed some help in cooking stir fry veges. So I said no worries - I'll send over all the necessities later in the evening. It's only Tuesday and she's looking quite frazzled already. The baby has been crying all morning and Bryce managed to hit Natalia on the head and make her graze her knee. That kid is really quite a handful. Then Marion's boss popped over just for a 'friendly chat'. The timing couldn't be better. It's lunch time, the kids are at each others throat and here the big kahuna dropped by to make Marion fill in a survey..??? So I decided to help sort the kids out and make myself scarce. Feel like having sushi today. I've got lots of spare time so I decided to make sushi for dinner today. The menu will be - wakame soup, tuna n seaweed maki and stir fry ginger beef with long beans. Yummy! Something to distract my restless mind and body. Went over to Corinne's to borrow some rice vinegar for the rice but she only have brown vinegar. Well, anything will do. Sent the stir fry ingredients to Marion's house. Gave her a big hug 'cause it looks like she really needs it at that time. Halfway between rolling the rice and stirring the soup, Izz asked whether he can bring Brandon and Kye over. I said yes and .. Voila! there's Kye and Brandon at the door. They played with the car tracks for a while and soon moved over to the computer. I ended up running between the kitchen and the computer room to help them with the game that they're playing. There! I did it! The rice roll looked a little bit messy 'cause I didn't have all the 'apparatus' but hey.. it worked out fine. Dinner went well and later on I watched Dancing With The Stars. I love Kate Ceberano n was so happy that she had won! One more thing to put in my to do list... Latin dancing classes when I got back home. Need to put back the sizzle in my life....

Waiting for the silver lining...

2007-04-30T21:52:00.000+09:30

Breakfast was waiting for me when I woke up this morning. Everything is tra-la-la wonderful... Called Marion to confirm the Morning Coffee at Tina's house. She said she'll be going at 10am and I told her that I'd like for us to go together. Well, I managed to get the kids ready by 10 and Marion is already on the front door. The moment we stepped outside it started to drizzle. So we scooted off and met the other ladies on our way there. Tina's house looks very unassuming from the outside but the moment you went inside it's as if you are in a different house! The house has 5 bedrooms, 2 living rooms, 3 bathrooms, a study, a play area, a laundry room, a dining room and a garden at the back. It's just the perfect little house. What's missing is the white picket fence. But even so, it has an antique wrought iron fence. Simply lovely. We had a lovely time there and we had to pry the kids out of the play area. We had to leave early as Marion had to run some errands and I had to finish off my work before the baby starts to cry. Later in the evening Rosh said he wants to take us out for a dinner at a Thai Restaurant called The River Kwai. Hmmm.... just go with the flow.... Izz woke up from his afternoon nap, went out and play with the other kids . Today they learned how to play hide and seek. But Brandon was having a difficult time of making them stay hidden 'cause they keep on moving and enjoyed getting caught! It was freezing cold that nite, so everybody was bundled up and we went for dinner. There were only 2 table empty so i guess the food must be good here. The food was fine but I personally prefer The Lemongrass better. More choices and the food has a little bit of a kick there. After dinner we hang out for a while in front of the Cooleman Court. Just to enjoy the full moon and the clear starry sky. Magnificent view... Makes my problems seems so insignificant. There are clouds here and there but the stars are so bright you can actually count them one by one, if you got the patience! Izz was testing his balance on the ledge and Aish was just happy to be able to totter around the bench. Love them to bits..! Maybe there's a silver lining somewhere among the clouds afterall...

The River Kwai

The Fire Within

2007-04-29T13:13:00.000+09:30

Had sausage,baked beans n toast for breakfast today. Did 2 rounds of washing. The sky looks promising today. I'm still nursing the anger that I felt yesterday when unnecessary words were hurled at Izz by u know who... I felt so freakin' mad 'cause I can't do anything about it. "Sabar je dulu..." consoled my dad. Luckily I still have my family by my side. Otherwise I might have ended up in jail earlier on for commiting henious crimes towards u know who (who will be known after this as UKWho). After venting my anger n frustrations to him, I felt a little tiny bit of relief. The anger that I have inside me is bubbling to the point that makes me want to commit bodily harm to UKWho (the aftermath of holding too much emotions and mental torture after a prolonged period of time). After pacing up and down n around the house, just to let loose some steam, I take Wudu' n lay myself open to god. Praying is just an act of faith. It doesn't mean that if u pray contentiously then you are a 'GOOD' person, able to redeem yourself n get an open ticket to heaven. It doesn't work that way 'cause it's too much of a cliche'. And too damn easy... Noo... it's much more profound than that. Otherwise we would be living in a perfect world. No anguish, poverty, violence, trangressions etc. Everyone would be happy and smiling all the time. I think the movie Matrix had it down to a pat. Humans can't function that way. Anyway, too much philosophy in one day... That's another Blog! Well, at 10am we went to the garage sale in Woden. Nothing much there, I think because of the weather lately so people don't want to risk the rain. Went to Southside Farmers Market, got some plums (they're so mouthwateringly yummy!!) veges, and back to Woden again, to buy groceries. Had to make it quick 'cause Rosh want to go to his college afterwards n do some work there. We had fish for lunch n somehow in between the fish n calamari, it started again. Now I believe he's willing to strike me if it's justified. Need to do some serious rethinking after this. I need a Plan B/C/D...!!! Left us inside so he can have a puff, n went back home. The temperature is rising n is just about to reach it's boiling point. I just zipped my mouth during the trip home n loaded the groceries in the pantry n fridge when we reached it. One tiny spark n I think it'll detonate... Big time! So we just do our own business n go our separate ways. Rosh went to his room n sleep. Changed his mind about going to his college I guess, well more stuff to blame me for...

Ronld Isley/Burt Bacharach---The look of love

2007-04-28T23:06:00.001+09:30

It just make my heart sway...

ruby la descarada

2007-04-28T22:07:00.001+09:30

Simply love the song...

Raindrops keep falling on my head...

2007-04-28T16:05:00.000+09:30

Yesterday, it rained the whole nite. Big droplets of rain. Finally the dry spell has been broken. Had to turn the heater up 'cause the cold is unbearable. Aish woke up several times 'cause he was having difficulty in breathing. It' still raining in the morning. Feel like eating nasi goreng today. Rosh is still sleeping until Izz woke him up for breakfast at 830am. Gloom n doom... The weather outside is no different inside. Julianne from Hs No.33 called to inform us that the Street Get Together that we're supposed to have this evening has been cancelled due to the heavy rain. Tried to make Aish go to sleep when I heard Izz crying "Mak! Papa dah hilang!" God... it's starting again. I'm too tired for this...

The King Returns

2007-04-27T19:55:00.000+09:30

Today is the same old thing... managing the kids,housecleaning, cooking etc... What people has been telling me is true. It certainly got colder right after Anzac Day. It's freezing here and we're in mid-autumn! Brrr....Went to Marion's house to escape my mundane life. Took Izz with me. Aish was sleeping. Izz was so happy 'cause he can play with Marion's kids n their toys. We chit-chat abt the usual stuff and soon realised we've become desperate housewives. Ha ha ha... as if we need more dramas in our lives.The kids in Marion's care today are lil' angels. They're Jesse n Brianna. They do their own things and they do it quietly. Big difference from Bryce and Sienna. Marion was thinking of extending her day care services to the weekends where she can charge AUD10 per hour, instead of the usual AUD3.70 per hour. She really needs the money for the new house that they've bought. They'll move in there on the 10th May. I'm going to miss her when she's gone, even though her new house is just 10 mins away. And she promised she'll be attending the complex's monday morning brunch as she has done before. Went back home, fold my laundry and Brandon came knocking asking whether Izz can come out and play with them. Rosh came back from his overseas trip today at 4.30pm. He was gone for 3 weeks to Hawaii, Korea and Guam (supposed to be China but their aircraft US-broke down, so they have to change destination). He brought back some souvenirs and clothing for all of us. Most of it are winter clothings since winter is just around the corner. He fell asleep after dinner at 8pm. Too tired from the long journey I guess. Anyway, I'm looking forward to enjoy the snow and the coldness. Could not be any worse than the winter in my heart....

Let's meet the Robinsons

2007-04-26T14:44:00.000+09:30

Woke up at 6am, it's freezing cold here. Slept late last nite with all the excitement of having Marion n Corinne over for dinner. The kids seems better at adapting to the drop in temperature. I'm still struggling with constant cold feet and hands n not forgetting my nose! I don't know how I'm going to cope with winter just around the corner... help! Big day today. I'm going to take the kids to Hoyts to see the new movie - Meet the Robinsons. Izz has been bugging me for days to see this movie. So again replay yesterday's script - breakfast, bath, ready, go... We reached there early so I went n claimed the voucher. I got it when my 'clan' was here last month. We went and watched Wild Hogs (the movie's good, it's hilarious!!) and got a free ticket for spending so and so amount of moolah that day. So I've saved AUD15.50 with the voucher. But I still have to pay AUD9.95 'cause Izz wants to have the 'Meet the Robinsons' popcorn set. Jeez.. back to square one.... Since we're early I took the kids to Beaky's Book to drop some books there n to do book bookings. For all the books I got 5 dollars in credit (to see how this work see http://www.beakys.com.au/). I've read one of Louise Bagshawe's book - A Kept Woman, n I'm hooked. Need to read more of it so I can get it out of my system. So did bookings on some of her books ie Venus Envy, Monday's Child, When She was Bad, Career Girls and the Go to Girls. I'm just crazy abt books. Last Monday, I borrowed some books frm Corinne - Digital Fortress by Dan Brown n Chasing the Dime by Michael Connelly. Haven't got the time to start on them yet, and I still got The Secret by Rhonda Byrne halfway through, but no worries as I've got all the time in the world here.. We went in at 1205 and it was already packed. Oh yeah.. I forgot.. it's the school holidays! No wonder, 'cause the last time we're here it was just me n my family. The movie was fine but the storyline didn't impress me. But I'm looking forward to see Shrek the Third. Aish was restless today. He keeps on squirming n wriggling his way around to escape from me. The final touch was that he vomitted on my jeans! Yuck! The hazards of being a mom! We went to the toilet a couple of times n I started regretting the idea of taking the kids out for a movie. But when I went back inside n saw Izz laughing and grinning while watching the movie made it all worth it, vomit and all...

Ready,steady cook!

2007-04-25T14:30:00.000+09:30

It's 7.25 am and the kids r up already. I got out of bed and made Darwish's baby formula n prepare Danish's breakfast. Today he wants to have roti butter. Isn't that's what he wants everyday?? Kids..how simple life is for them. Ok brush teeth, force the bread down his throat, give Danish n Darwish a bath, then my turn... Ok all set. Today's event is a cooking lesson in Malaysian cuisine. Beef curry to be exact. Marion and Corinne will be my 'apt pupil'. They'll arrive around 10 am. Marion came at 10.20 am. It's hard for her to leave cause she had to prepare the kids before she leaves the house. We were just about to start when Corinne arrives. She will be preparing the vege and the dessert. Marion will bring the bubblies. Love thy neighbour.. I really do love these two angels. They are the reason why I'm still sane. They do go out of their way trying to fit me and my kids in their already hectic schedules so that we're not bored or lonely. Bless their souls. Ok, lets start.. oopps Marion had to go back to get her notepad (to jot down all the important details, i presume!). She was furious when she came back cause the kids are playing play dough on the couch, Kye had a screw in his hand and Craig was nowhere to be found. So I asked her "..then who's in charge? Wiley?" (Wiley is their dog, he's soo adorable) we all burst into tears laughing our heads off. Men!! So typical of them. The cooking went well with us bitchin' about our life's predicaments. It seems that we're not as different as we thought. All of us has the same problems- kids, husbands, lack of attentions etc. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Ooppss.. gotta get the kids ready, they'll be here soon. Corinne is the first one to arrive - with a box of chocolate. How sweet! Marion is a bit late so Corinne popped over to see how's everything going, seems that they are having a bit of a tiff there. Poor Marion! Anyway, she managed to get her butt to my place and we had a blast of a time! The food was great, Corinne did everything according to the book and it came out to be exactly like how it looked in the book! Amazing! The berry fool was divine and to die for. Danish was throwing a tantrum because he didn't sleep at all in the afternoon and is now getting very cranky. Darwish was cleaning the dining floor with his knees and drool - happy as he can be. Little spunky monkey! Anyway everybody had a good time. We bonded more that nite. It's as if I've lost a family and gained 2 more here. They're like big sisters that I've always wished for. I thank god for bringing these two lovely ladies in my life when I really, truly needs it. Syukur alhamdulilah... So ladies, when is the next gathering...???