Quasi Birthday...

Yesterday was the 1st of June. He's officially 46 years old. Maybe it's midlife crisis, maybe it's in his gene pool. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midlife_crisis) But whatever it is - I've tried to understand, help and work things out with him but to no avail. His family means nothing to him. I've managed to crawl out of the deep, dark abyss - mutilated, bewildered, angered and crushed but somehow, I've survived. Mangled but still in one piece. Thank you God!
He was still on the computer after 1245am so I gave him his Birthday card and gifts. I gave him a Harley Davidson T-Shirt and a silver keyring with an agate embedded in it. He said thank you and looked at the gifts. Said he liked it and I said you're welcome. I don't know what to expect and how to react. Everything seems so surreal. I went straight to bed after that 'conversation'. Went out in the morning with Corinne and Aish to Westfield Woden. Bought medicines for the whole family, (Yep! For each one of us, everyone is under the weather lately... need to wonder why?) Was on the way back when I said to Corinne I want to get a cake for him. She said it'll be nice for the kids to celebrate something. So I got him this Boston Cake. It's a 3 layered cake - vanilla cake/custard/vanilla cake and it's topped with a layer of chocolate. Yummy... very,very delicious! Oh... did I tell you? I've gained 2kg! So now I'm 46kg! This was all due to the late nite bingeing - buttered toast, ice creams with strawberry sauce, ice creams n bread, chocolates with raisins, blueberry muffins... bla,bla,bla. It's getting really cold here (4C-0C) so I'm alway feeling hungry. Or it could just be my period is just around the corner and I'm bloating, it's all water retention and it'll be gone and I'll be back to square one again...! Anyway, (too much information there) came back, pick Izz up, siesta time, wake everbody up and went to Marion's house with Corinne. Kai and Brandon followed too. This is their first time there. The kids had a blast in the backyard and we planned about our Girl's Day Out on Sunday. We've agreed to go to Hoyts Woden to watch "Because I said so" and have lunch in one of the restaurants there. We'll go out at 930am and be back by 3pm. Marion cut her hair. Her hair look bouncier and she looked younger/fresher. We had to say our goodbyes as the day becomes darker. Went home, cooked lasagna. It tasted exceptionally good actually, since this is my first time making it. Had dinner and then I took out the cake. Izz was excited and Aish was in his element - Crispix! Sang a birthday song and he cut the cake. You see... birthdays used to be a big thing with us. I'd make cards with Izz, prepare a sketch, game or song where Izz will do it after the cake cutting and we all have fun and merriment. Even if there's just the 3 of us. What we had feels so superficial, empty and fake. No laughter, no happy faces - just a group of people enjoying a good cake. And that was it. Why did I bother...

This morning Rosh had an invitation for a brunch at the college, so I took the kids out at 10am to Hyperdome Tuggeranong. We 'loitered' around and had fun cause Mr. Grumpy wasn't there to spoil our day. Later we had lunch at Westfield Woden because Izz wants to have Mcdonalds. I had some sushi. 'Loitered' around some more and went home at 3pm. Izz went straight to Corinne's house the moment we reached home. Picked up Rosh at the college at 530pm. Made chicken salad, garlic bread and onion soup. Had dinner, started reading my new book - Beach Road by James Patterson. Feel sad and lonely, maybe because the kids are all sleeping early today. The room is too quiet it's deafening... Looking forward for my date with the girls tomorrow...

Hujan Emas di negeri Orang...

The grass is always greener on the other side. Betul ke hujan batu di negeri sendiri tapi baik lagi negeri sendiri...? Rasanya dah tak boleh pakai lagi dah pepatah ni... Kalau boleh kutip emas kenapa kita nak pilih batu plak...? Tak ke bodoh namanya tu... Sepanjang aku hidup ni dah banyak la jugak tempat orang yang aku dah pegi - Singapore, Brunei, Thailand, Indonesia (Medan & Bali), Korea, Japan (walaupun kat dalam Narita airport jer tapi 9 jam weihh...huhuhu), Hawaii dan sekarang Australia. Kalau nak dibandingkan memang sume lain2, ada pros and cons. Tapi aku rasa memang best tempat org and the best place to live is Hawaii n Australia. Kenapa...? Sebab pertama - environment. Fresh air and clean surroundings. Memang tak blh nak lawan. They really take things seriously. Takde cincai2 atau sambil lewa atau Malaysia Boleh! Sume ikut peraturan and I mean semua, tak kira sapa, besar kecik, atas bawah. Rasa macam hidup regulated tapi senang sebab kita tau apa yg boleh buat, apa yg tak blh buat dan semua org will do the same thing. Senang hidup. Hawaii n Australia aku rasa udara diorg mmg lain. Mungkin sebab diorg pulau yg jauh dari org lain, jadi takder jerebu2 ni kot. Kat Korea lak, kalau pakai baju kuar jln2 satu hari kat bandar dia, balik rendam baju tu fuhh! Kelabu airnya. Sebab, banyak sangat kilang kat sana n asap arang batu dr China. Kedua - moral yg tinggi. Kita nama jer asian patut berbudi bahasa tapi hampeh! Banyak kali kalau nak naik LRT tu mana ada yg beratur. Kalau kita ikut undang2/peraturan kena pijak2 la kita. Jahat jadi raja, baik jadi kuli... Masa aku pregnant, makcik tua yg bangun bg seat kat aku. Yg muda2 buat tak reti jer. Kalau ada yg baik pun yg perempuan esp student. Yg lelaki jarang sangat aku jumpa yg gentleman. Kat mesin ATM pun boleh buat muka seposen je potong line. Kita hidup asal boleh. Buang sampah merata2. Kalau org tak nampak tak salah la tu. Buat dulu, kalau kena lain cerita. Lepas tu tgk kabel. Lagi besar lagi senang la hidup - Above the Law. Kat sini budak kecik pun tau beratur, tak payah disuruh atau ada yg jaga. Automatik. Nampak sampah kat jalan tolong kutip buang. Anjing semua pegi 'sekolah', takder anjing liar atau gigit2 anak org ni. Kalau anjing berak, tuan dia kena kutip taik dia. Kita yg ada anak kecik didahulukan. Parking sume ikut ruang yg disediakan. Takde la double/triple parking ni. Aishh... memang jauh beza mentaliti dorg dgn kita. Mungkin Hawaii tu tourist oriented tapi salesperson dia tak kisah pun kalau kita masuk kedai dia pukul 1130 malam just browsing around and kuar tak beli apa2. Dengan muka manis siap cakap mahalo/aloha/good nite/thank you/come again. Ni masuk dgn muka berpeluh2 with just T-Shirt n jeans! Kalau kat Malaysia, siap kena assess dulu. Tgk kita atas bawah. Kalau pakai baju sengkek alamat tak kena layan ataupun dok ikut kita macam la kita ni penyamun nak rompak kedai dia. Silap aribulan kena sound lagi sebab tak beli apa2. Kat sini mana2 pegi, jumpa la sapa2 pun mesti dorg greet kita dgn senyuman. Masa antar anak pegi sekolah, masa jogging, masa beli barang, masa jalan2 sume sapa kita macam la dah kenal lama. Ada la jugak 2-3 kerat yg menyombong tapi rata2 sume mmg akan tegur kita bila bertembung. Kalau kat Malaysia nak senyum kat org pun payah. Silap2 dikatanya kita tak betul senyum sorang2. Kalau kita tegur org kang katanya kita buang tebiat... susah kan. Ketiga - safety. Masa aku dok 3 bulan lbh kat Hawaii tu aku merayau2 satu pulau tu sorang2 je (time laki aku kat ofis) n naik bas atau jalan kaki je. Bawak map, bus schedule hah... pegi la mana nak pegi. Tak de pun org nak samun, nak tipu atau nak ugut. Bas dia mmg on time tak penah terlambat. Pegi mana2 rasa selamat je, tak rasa takut atau was2, macam la tempat tu tempat kita (muka pun dah ada muka org sana dah...) Kalau tersesat pun dorg tolong macam nak rak, sampai ada sekali tu org tu jln ngan aku all the way sampai aku sampai kat tpt yg aku nak pegi. Kita plak yg rasa serba salah. Bebas sungguh. Anak2 nak main kat luar pun tak risau anak nak kena culik ker, kena langgar ker, kena rogol ker, kena liwat ker... (Lepas tu kebanyakan yg buat dajai ni sume org Islam... buta malu jer!) Kat Malaysia je aku dah penah kena rompak (dengan pisau n kat depan rumah plak tu!), public transport kita sampai sekarang still hopeless, kena tipu/ugut ngan teksi driver ntah tak terkira brp kali dah, budak2 lepak yg bersepah2 takde hala tuju suka mengacau org yg lalu-lalang, Mat2 Rempit yg membahayakan nyawa org lain, kawan sendiri samun hp and beg duit kita n mcm2 lagi laa... Semak kepala kalau dipikir2. Patutnya negara kita yg agama resminya Islam - aman damai, berbudi bahasa, tenteram pendek kata sesuai dgn makna Islam tu sendiri iaitu - Sejahtera. Tapi takpun... lagi serabut adalah... Mungkin kita ni nama je Islam, Islam warisan atau ikut2an, tapi isi... Rompong. Tak paham apa tu Islam. Kita ingat kalau lagi besar serban atau lagi labuh tudungnya lagi baik la org tu.... Macam yg kat dalam rumah ni laa... sembahyang/puasa tak pernah tinggal, baca Yasin khamis malam Jumaat, kalau nmpk something yg org buat salah kutuk mcm2, makan jaga halal/haram pendek kata mmg muslim sejati, tapi tu diaaa..... dia la setan bertopengkan manusia. Apa yg dia tak buat... bunuh org je tak lagi kot. Yg lain sume dah blh buboh tanda tick kat atas checklist tu. Chehh... dah lari topik la plak.... Tapi mmg la, bila kita dah pegi byk tpt org kita dah ada benda yg nak kita bandingkan. Mmg terasa macam kita ni dianak tirikan di negara sendiri. Keempat - facilities. Masa aku 'cacat' sementara for about 5 bln lebih (kena pakai plaster cast lps operate ruptured tendon archilles) mmg terasa macam org cacat atau bahasa halusnya OKU (i still don't get it, they still mean the same, like calling babi khinzir, takde benda lain ker nak pikir...?) tak der tempat dalam masyarakat. I still lead a normal life ie. pegi shopping, kuar makan, jln2 etc. Tapi Ya Allah, mmg seksa. Kalau kat shopping tu or any buildings kebanyakannya takde ramp for wheel chair. Ha'ah, aku tak pedulik. Kenapa, kalau naik wheelchair nak kena dok rumah jer ker...? Malu? Kenapa lak? Bukannya aku jln2 bogel... Jadi berpusing2 la kita org cari the best possible way to get in. Sometimes I had to hop while my brothers or sisters carry my wheel chair up the stairs. Tak user friendly langsung. Lps tu berth between the aisles sempit, susah nak manoeuvre. Yg aku plg tak tahan sekali ialah org yg suka tgk/perli macam la aku ni ada hutang ngan dorg. Mentang2 kita tak macam org lain so nak kena layan pun lain ke...? Apa la kita ni, mmg betul la kita ni masih lagi dgn mentaliti 3rd world country. Aku mmg simpati dgn OKU kat negara kita sebab tak dpt layanan/kemudahan yg sama macam org lain. Note - I said sama not special, because they do deserve to lead a normal and comfortable life like the rest of us. Kat sini semua tempat (buildings/roads/parks etc) are user/OKU friendly, samada utk wheel chair ataupun stroller. Lift dia pun ada Braille markings utk yg buta. Ada parents room (utk tukar pampers, bg susu/mkn anak etc - siap ngan microwave lg), toilet utk parents and child, wide aisle berth for wheelchairs at checkout counters etc. Patut benda2 mcm ni la yg kita ikut, bukannya air-conditioned toilet! Kat sini banyak tempat yg kita boleh spend time dgn family kita and it's all free! Ada park, soccer/rugby fields, tracks for bikes, skating ramps etc. Semuanya well kept and maintained. Kat Malaysia kat mana nak bawak budak2 pegi jln2...? Last resort pegi shopping centre la. Kadang2 aku rasa kita ni mcm lab rats. Terima je apa yg org nak test/buat kat kita. Tak boleh nak pikir atau soal kenapa kita diperlakukan begitu... Walaupun kalau kita kat tpt org kita akan jd second class citizen (but I don't think so - because it's not that easy to accepted, they don't simply take any Tom, Dick or Harry...) tp mmg dah sah2 kita kat tpt org. Tp kalau kat tpt sendiri pun dah jd second/third class citizen, macam mana tu.... Sapa nak tolong jawab....? Tapi jgn la ingat aku ni terlalu taksub n mendewa2kan lak negara luar. Aku just ceta mana yg baik yg aku rasa patut kita jadikan contoh, dan mana yg buruk supaya kita blh ubah. Banyak jugak benda yg tak baik kat negara luar tu tp nak buat apa kita nak ikut yg buruk...? Ramai lg org yg baik2 kat Malaysia tu, tp tu la byk yg jd mangsa keadaan. Malaysians kebanyakannya decent tp mungkin kerana kita ni nak kemajuan yg instant/segera tu yg jd kelam kabut tu. Banyak jugak benda yg elok kat Malaysia tu, contohnya kita nye public health service aku rasa antara yg termurah dan terbaik compared to other countries. Syabas to all the people in that sector. Malaysia jugak Food Heaven. There's no place like it. Mmg makanan yg paling best sume ada kat Malaysia - you name it, you got it. Maybe there's still hope for the future. Election dah dekat kan...? Jadi daftarlah sbg pengundi dan undilah dgn bijak....

Dress Up Day

We had Dress Up Day today. Izz was so excited that he managed to finish his breakfast within 15 mins! Or was it because today we had fried macaroni... hmmmm ^_^ ? Anyway, geared up the kids, Izz wore his gold Baju Melayu since the theme of the day was Gold and Aish as usual becomes a big bundle of clothing. The temperature was 11C! It was very sunny but the wind was chilly. Went to Ana's house rang the bell but nothig happened. After waiting for 5 mins Ana opened the door. She's still in her Jammie's... something must be wrong. She asked us to wait in the kitchen. She was trying to get Faris into his costumes. It's a golden aegis. Ariffin (Faris's dad) made it till the wee hours in the morning. Ana has been trying to get Faris to wear it but he refused. I told Ana if Faris doesn't want to wear any costumes it's ok. Ana asked Faris whether he wants to wear the costume or not but Faris just sat in the corner and cried. I said it's better if I go and let Ana sort this out by herself as we're already late. We went to school on our own. When we arrived at Preschool everybody was already inside. We had 3 Batmans, 3 fairies, 3 princesses, a superman, a pirate, a fireman and Buzz Lightyear. Robyn was dressed as a Bumble Bee and Wendy became Old Mother Hubbard. There was an air of festivities with colors everywhere. The kids were checking out each others costumes and were giggling all the time. Ignorance is truly bliss...

~All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages~

William Shakespeare

Hear a different drummer...

Marion picked us up at 910am. Izz was ecstatic because he was able to play with Kai. Aish couldn't be bothered. Hahaha. Had tea and the usual chit-chat. At 10am Marion had to send Kai to swimming lesson. I used that time to upload all the pics that we took at National Zoo & Aquarium of Canberra. He took us there to make up to his outburst on Saturday. But the trip was far from enjoyable. How can you enjoy yourself when you're travelling with a sourpuss...? He managed to find fault with everything to and from the trip. I hate it when a man nags, it's very unbecoming and crass. Izz took the brunt of his crap most of the time till the kid gave up and did whatever he feels like doing and I would end up being the bad guy trying to make him behave! $#!t! He's such a piece of work! I feel like gouging his eyes and feed it to the lions! Can't wait to get him out of my life... Today, the DA invited us for dinner at his house in honour of Prof. Dato' Dr. Zakaria Hj. Ahmad, a visiting UKM lecturer to the Defence College. (Professor Dato' Dr Zakaria Ahmad is Professor of Strategic Studies and Coordinator of the Defence Studies Programme at the School of History, Politics and Strategic Studies, Faculty of Social Sciences and Humanities of the UKM. He has published extensively on Malaysian politics, Southeast Asian and Asia-Pacific security issues, and has been a consultant to the Malaysian Ministries of Defence and Foreign Affairs). Kak Kaminah, the DA's wife prepared a feast for us - ayam masak lemak, sup tulang, sambal udang, mixed vege and sweet sour fish. The dinner was a nice change of environment as I get to mingled with other people besides UKWho. I had enough of his bull$#!t during the weekend. Kak Misnah was there too and Izz was happy to play tackle with Hidayah. Feel a little bit better afterwards. The journey home was a short one but it feels like an eternity. Anyway, nowadays I don't let him get to me as I'm dancing to a different beat now... all guns blazing and I'm revelling in it.

Kenangan Aiskrim Malaysia

Disebabkan kenangan silam mendapat sambutan hangat di pasaran, aku ada lagi satu ceta... Ada sekali tu masa balik raya kat rumah Tok Wan (Kg. Manjoi, Ipoh), ayah ajak kita pegi beraya ke rumah sedara dia yg dah lama tak jumpa. Rasanya rumah dia kat Grik. Jauh n berliku2 jalannya beb. Siap kuar masuk hutan. Dulu hiway takder lagi. Sampai kat sana macam biasa la kalau time beraya - makan kuih, sembang2 etc. Kitaorg yg budak2 biasala dah bosan tgk TV, main kat luar. Sekali ntah camna, tuan rumah ni tanya nak tak makan ais krim malaysia? Hmm... mesti best kan panas2 ni... so kitaorg pun kata nak la. Dia pun bg kitaorg sorang satu aiskrim. Nampak macam aiskrim Milo jer... So we took a bite. Ermmm.... asal rasa macam pelik jer ek..? Masing2 nye muka dah jadi pelik. Hmmm.... nak tau aiskrim tu perisa apa..? Perisa bubur kacang hijau! Rasa melekat2 kat tekak. Hahaha.... "Sedap ker..?" "Nuh..uhh.." semua geleng kepala. "Jom kuar..." Macam mana nak buat ni...? Kang kalau makan tak abis, nanti kecik ati lak tuan rumah. Punya la berbudi bahasa anak2 Pakcik Tapa ni kan... So pikir nye pikir aku ada idea. Kita org pakat buang isi aiskrim tu ramai2 kat pokok bunga dia kat luar tu. Lepas tu tunggu jap baru masuk dalam rumah kononnya nak buang plastik aiskrim yg dah 'abih makan' tu. Tuan rumah punya la happy tgk kita makan abih n cepat lak tu offer lg aiskrim. Alamak! Kitaorg cepat2 kata, takpe tima kasih dah kenyang la, nanti2 boleh la. So pendekkan ceta bila time nak balik tuan rumah ada bekalkan makanan kat kitaorg. "Buat makan2 on the way back nanti..." Bukak2 bekas tu tau tak apa...? Ais krim bubur kacang hijau lagi!! Last2 ayah yg perabihkan sorang2. Huhuhu... Aruah Tok Kiah dulu pun suka buat n jual aiskrim Malaysia ni. Murah jer... 5 sen satu! Bukan apa dia saja seronok budak2 datang rumah nak beli aiskrim. Tapi kalau kitaorg dah balik Ipoh alamatnya kita adik beradik la yg tibai sampai abis sume2 aiskrim tu. Tapi kita org bayar tau (mak la penaja utama! Tq mak!) Cucu tak cucu... Tapi kadang2 tu ada juga yg kena 'songlap' hehehe. Tok Kiah ada buat banyak perisa, ada oren, milo, etc dan my feveret - perisa asam boi dgn asam boi kat belah bawah aiskrim tu... Bestnya. Rumah aruah Tok Wan n Tok Kiah kat Kg. Manjoi tu memang panas yang amat, so dapat makan aiskrim tu macam satu nikmat yang tak dapat dilepaskan atau dilupakan. Mak nanti dah pencen pun boleh buat camni gak kot. Tapi tak leh la jual harga 5 sen lagi. Jual 10 sen boleh la kot.... Tapi takut bukan cucu yang nak makan tapi 'Mak Budak' yg teringin nak makan. Huhuhu......