Cigarette Break...

It rained again this morning. Feel very sleepy cause sleep late last nite. Breakfast was ready. Last nite UKWho slept right after dinner, wake up at 930pm, went out and came back at 230am. Didn't know where he went. Don't know, don't care. Rosh asked me whether I could cut his hair today. Sure why not, like I've got tons of work to do here. So while cutting his hair with a #3 length clipper I asked him (with a bated breath) is he planning to take us to go anywhere? He said maybe, depends on his schedule. I told him if he's not planning to take us anywhere might as well we just go home and astonishingly, he asked me when would I like to go home. I paused and said Aish's birthday is next month so I was thinking of making it a double soiree, so that both boys could celebrate their birthday at the same time (Izz's birthday is in Nov). Then we would go back to Malaysia in July. He said OK. He'll make all the arrangements after he came back from his study tour in Indonesia. Keeping mum, I continued cutting his hair. This is just too good to be true! But lets not put our hopes too high as anything can happen between now and July. Maybe he just say what I wanted to hear to avoid going to work bald as I was holding a very sharp hair clipper! But at least what transpired just now is like a spot of rain after a long dry spell. Just have to keep faith that everything will work out fine. It's Saturday and we have 2 invitations today. One is to attend a birthday party for the daughter of Rosh's friend and the other one is a gathering for all military personnel who are here for a course. Rosh went to college after breakfast and I got the kids ready. He came back at 2pm and and we head off to The Sanctuary, Lyneham. But on the way we took a detour cause he haven't got anything to give to the birthday girl. My hubby is so hopeless! He should have told me earlier so that I could buy the present and save us this last minute trip! We managed to stop by at Canberra Centre (after going round and round in circles for 45 mins!) and I jumped out to buy the gift. I got her a MagCliks - Interactive Jewellery Making, contains approx 1000 beads to design & create charms for your bags, also make stunning necklaces, bracelets or brooches. Cool stuff... I don't know whether they already have this in Malaysia. So we finally arrived at The Sanctuary at 4pm. There were lots of familiar faces there. Osman and Kak Misnah (the host) were quite worried as we're so late. Most of the guest already left. They served Char Kuew Tiaw, (Kuew Tiaw Sany in Bayan Lepas is the best!) Mee Rebus, (mmm..... teringat Gurney Drive lagi, sedapnya...) fried chicken, Trifle and choc chip muffins. The food was a bit cold but it's our fault. Anyway, I and Kak Misnah get along famously despite the fact that this is the first time I met her. She's a nice lady, a primary school teacher and have 3 daughters age 16, 9 and 8. We chitchatted until it was about time to go for the next invitation at 550pm. We went together as Rosh was not sure of which route to take. Arrived at the Malaysian Embassy at 615. Met the same faces there. They have invited the wife of the Malaysian Ambassador as the guest of honour. The reason they had this gathering was to get to know each other and to make all the Malaysians here feel more like home. The food was great, they had a Karaoke session (very Malaysian!) and I made a lot of new friends there. But it still doesn't feel like home...

Malaysian Get Together

Good Neighbours are Hard to Find

It rained heavily last nite. It started from 130am, i know because I was still awake when it started. Luckily it stopped raining when I went to send Izz to school. Corinne came over at 1025am. We've planned to go and visit Marion at her new house. Before that I asked Corinne whether I could use her dryer or not because my laundry are still wet due to the rain. She said ok, just hand it over and she'll do it for me. We arrived at Marion's and it drizzled. Gave her the house warming gift we got for her - an indoor plant and some tidbits for us to share during our tête-à-tête. The house was exquisite! 5 rooms, an airy living room, a generous kitchen and a backyard complete with a cubby house plus a garden shed. I simply love it. The tall windows and high ceilings... Wiley is very happy, now that he has all those space to himself. Marion told me she had a disastrous move, that she already packed her bags 3 times and was ready to take a flight back to Brisbane. The roof is leaking, the toilet won't flush, the dryer is busted, she couldn't find the kid's stuff and Craig flooded the house by not plugging the dishwasher in properly! Poor sausage... But at least now the house looked presentable. Aish was having a tour of the house on his own, crawling gleefully in the wide open space. Our buzz session lasted for about 2 hours and it was time to go because I have to pick up Izz from school. We've set-up a date where we will go out for lunch and watch a movie together, ladies only! No kids! We agreed to do it on 3rd June. Went back, stop by at Ana's house. She told me since it's raining, she and her hubby would collect Izz and I could just stay home with the baby. Thanks a lot neighbour! Later in the evening, Kye and Brandon came over to play with Izz. Corinne came by to call them to go home for dinner and gave me my laundry. They were dry and neatly folded, ALL of them. She is a gem! Corinne, I'm forever indebted to you! Sure gonna miss my neighbours when I go back to Malaysia ...

Streeton Drive Posse'

Foo Fighters Best Of You

Need to break free...

MIRAGE

by: Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)

HE hope I dreamed of was a dream,
Was but a dream; and now I wake
Exceeding comfortless, and worn, and old,
For a dream's sake.

I hang my harp upon a tree,
A weeping willow in a lake;
I hang my silenced harp there, wrung and snapt
For a dream's sake.

Lie still, lie still, my breaking heart;
My silent heart, lie still and break:
Life, and the world, and mine own self, are changed
For a dream's sake.

Dodol n Pulut Serikaya Ekspres...

Masih dalam mood bahasa Melayu (tapi bahasa Melayu yg dah rosak akibat selalu sangat sms dan chat ... huhuhu). Isnin lepas ada morning coffee di rumah Saadia Inam dari Iraq. Aku tak pegi sebab budak2 sume batuk dan selsema. Jadi tak nak berjangkit kat anak org lain pulak. Dia org ada buat demo macam mana nak buat dodol dan pulut serikaya dgn microwave. Wah... rugi la plak tak pegi. Tapi si Ana dari Indon yg baik hati telah menyalinkan resepinya untuk aku. Terima kasih Ana! Cuba la kalau nak, aku tak sempat lagi. Tunggu budak2 ni sumer baik baru aman nak membeli barang2 kat Asian Store.

-

DODOL

Bahan2:

500gm tepung pulut

200ml santan pekat

1 buku gula melaka (larutkan dgn air)

Semua bahan dicampur jadi satu (di blender). Lalu dimasak dgn microwave selama 5 minit. Setelah 2 minit keluarkan sebentar, kacau lalu dimasak kembali sampai habis 5 minit itu tadi.

-

PULUT SERIKAYA

Bahan2:

3 cwn pulut (dicuci sampai bersih lalu ditambahkan air sedikit)

5 biji telur (diblender)

Garam dan sedikit santan lalu dimasak dgn microwave selama 20 minit

Setengah buku gula melaka dimasak dgn air lalu ditambahkan 2 sudu besar gula pasir (ikut rasa)

Setelah larut disaring dan tambahkan 2 sudu besar tepung jagung, telur yg telah diblender dan diadun hingga sebati.

Tambahkan bahan yg sudah sebati itu ke atas pulut yg sudah dimasak dan masak kembali ke dalam microwave selama 5 minit.

-

Macam senang je kan... Jadi cubalah dan bagi feedback how it turn out... Kalau tak jadi nanti aku marah si Ana tu...

English or Malay...?

Ada orang yang bertanya.. kenapa aku menulis blog dalam bahasa Inggeris? Sebenarnya pada aku, bahasa Inggeris tu lebih sesuai sebab ianya ringkas dan tepat pada sasaran and I express myself better in English (tak pedulik la grammar betul ke tak, janji apa yg nak disampaikan dapat difahami oleh pembaca sasaran). Bahasa Melayu intonasinya lebih halus dan indah, sesuai untuk menukilankan benda2 yang berseni dan abstrak. (See, I write in a different tone when I speak in my mother tongue! So funny...) Bukannya aku tak pandai nak bercakap bahasa Melayu, tapi masa menulis Blog ialah satu escapism (lemahnya bahasa...) untuk meluahkan semua yg terpendam di nurani tanpa perlu mengaku yg semua itu ialah aku - segala yg indah, jelik, hebat, pelik, cinta, duka, ceria, nista. Kalau dulu masa sekolah cikgu selalu cakap bila membaca karangan aku macam membaca suratkhabar, semua elemen ada siap dgn bunga2 bahasa lagi, jadi mesti handal la jugak Bahasa aku ni. Bab berpantun lagi la aku terer (masuk bakul angkat sendiri) kemahiran yg di sought after sampai bos (identiti terpaksa dirahsiakan... huhuhu sori bos!) pernah sms pukul 230 pg suruh prepare pantun utk dia berucap masa merasmikan rumah anak yatim di Kedah dulu. Ini semua kerana aku pernah membuat pembentangan selama 15 min untuk summarize hasil kursus Kaya Budi selama 5 hari di Kl dalam bentuk pantun. Begini ceritanya.... Setiap kumpulan akan diberi markah, jadi oleh kerana isi semua kumpulan lebih kurang sama, aku pulak bosan (kat bilik tak der TV time tu) dan aku pun nak 'menyerlahkan' kumpulan aku, jadi terbitlah idea untuk membuat pembentangan yg merangkumi semua yg telah dipelajari selama 5 hari itu dalam bentuk pantun. Jenuh jugak nak menyiapkannya, tapi glamor nye pasal, sanggup... Semua terpaku dan tak de sorang pun tidor masa aku buat pembentangan. Nanti kalau aku jumpa balik pantun2 tu aku post kat Blog ni... Korang nilai lah sendiri. Lagi satu kalau aku menulis dalam bahasa Melayu rasa macam segan, sebab macam membuka pekung di badan sendiri (walaupun badan tak berpekung). Kalau aku menulis dalam bahasa Inggeris, aku rasa macam menulis pasal seseorg yg aku kenal rapat, jadi laju jer meluncur perkataan2 kat dalam Blog tu. Ramai jugak yg bertanya macam mana aku boleh terer sangat speaking London ni (walaupun sebenarnya bukanlah terer sangat, macam terer je....). Dulu masa aku sekolah kat Sek. Ren. Keb. Durian Daun Melaka, aku selalu balik lambat sebab kena tunggu mak atau ayah datang ambik balik sekolah. Jadi masa aku dihabiskan di perpustakaan sekolah (chewah... budak baik la konon...) Buku yang banyak ialah buku bahasa Inggeris sebab buku bahasa Melayu kebanyakannya dah dipinjam org. Jadi aku pun mengadap la buku2 tu. Mula2 memang tgk gambar je la, tapi lama2 nak tau jugak apa cerita nya kan. Jadi aku pun dibesarkan dgn buku2 Enid Blyton, ensaiklopedia dan kamus. Faktor pemangkin yg terbesar sekali untuk kenapa aku suka membaca buku bahasa Inggeris ialah Ayah dan Mak aku. Ayah tu macam my walking dictionary - kamus bergerak. Rajin jer dia melayan semua perkataan yg aku tak faham - banyak pulak tu. Kadang2 tu dekat 10 kali tanya, bukannya nak ingat tapi 10 kali jugak la ayah aku menjawab. Kalau tgk cerita kat TV pun, kalau aku tak faham apa yg di perkatakan ayah akan terangkan. Tak pernah sekali pun dia mengabaikan pertanyaan aku. Kalau ada perkataan yang dia tak pasti, dia akan cari maknanya dan bagitau aku. Sekarang ni aku pulak menjadi walking dictionary dia. Mak pulak terer berbahas buktinya... kalau nak lawan cakap dia mesti kalah nye! Tapi memang mak aku dulu banyak kali jadi wakil sekolah untuk bahas dan pidato. Kalau bersyair ke mengaji ke perghh... sedap... (bab ni aku tak berbakat... suara buluh betong!) Bila buat kerja sekolah mak akan check sedap ke tak ayat yg aku gunakan walaupun mak tak berapa pandai bahasa Inggeris tapi she really makes the effort. Kalau pasal buku mak dan ayah tak kisah, mahal pun tak per janji mesti baca. Buku bahasa Inggeris pulak mahal tapi mereka sanggup keluarkan duit untuk menyokong minat aku masa tu. Setiap hari Jumaat mesti bawak aku dan adik2 pergi Perpustakaan Negeri (sedih tengok keadaannya sekarang, macam mana la org nak minat membaca..?) dan hobi masa lapang kami - melepak kat kedai buku. Tabiat yg sampai sekarang aku terbawak2 sampai anak pun pandai tergolek2 baca buku kat Kinokuniya, Borders, MPH, TIMES (besar, selesa, banyak pilihan dan tak der org nak marah kalau kita baca buku jer dan tak beli apa pun...) atau mana2 kedai pun tak kisah janji ada buku... kedai mamak pun boleh... Terima kasih sekali lagi Mak dan Ayah for the greatest gift of all - minat membaca yg aku rasa sangat berharga dan bukan senang nak dipupuk. Ini satu lagi habit yg kadang2 melucukan. Aku ni kena sentiasa membaca (dalam kepala sentiasa berputar, cara untuk berhenti berfikir - muzik, TV atau tidur), tak boleh duduk termenung sajer je jadi aku akan baca apa saja bahan bacaan yg aku jumpa, atas LRT, kat klinik, dalam keta dan mana2 saja. Buku, majalah dan surat khabar cina pun aku tibai... Majalah dan komik (manga) Jepun pun banyak dalam koleksi jadi jangan tergezut kalau aku mati nanti harta peninggalan aku yg paling byk sekali ialah buku2 aku (selain dari kasut dan beg tangan hehehe). Nasib korang la nak, nak harta carik la sendiri...

Primitive, yet Potent

Welcome to Your Daily Forecast for May 16, 2007

Your Birth Date: 11/26/1974
Venus Square Pluto
May 15, 2007 to May 16, 2007

At this point in time, your desires won't just be powerful -- they'll be impossible to ignore. You may feel like you're able to resist any temptation, but you haven't seen what the universe has been cooking up for you. There is a delicious dish in store!

-

Love
Venus Square Pluto
May 15, 2007 to May 16, 2007

Duties and responsibilities -- how very tedious! -- will seem to weigh you down. Do your duty for as long as you can. Then move along, with no apologies.

-

Energy
Mars Quincunx Uranus
May 14, 2007 to May 16, 2007

Do something you've been thinking about for a long time. Whether it's yoga, line dancing or a watercolor class doesn't matter. The point is to try something new.

-

That's what my astrological forecast has to say about me for today. I'm an avid fan of metaphysical stuff ie- astrology, numerology, spirituals, paranormals (tapi penakut giler hehehe) etc. Tapi tak melanggar akidah lagi tau. Just an insatiable interest to learn about something that is beyond our 5 senses. What the forecast has been saying about my life has been hitting the jackpot ie today in particular. Throughout my life I've always tried to understand the human behaviour. Environment, upbringing and religion does play a major role in why somebody behaves in a particular way. But I noticed star signs and numbers does contribute in what makes a person ticks. I've got loads of books on these areas and most of the time they really do help to make sense out of the nonsense. Because if you've noticed - Life is stranger than Fiction.

Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around...

I really do hope so... ASAP!

Manic Monday

Sent SMS's to mak n ayah at 217am on Sunday morning. Stayed up late cause I wanted the to be first to wish Happy Birthday to ayah and Happy Mother's Day to mak. I thought they were asleep but guess I was wrong cause both of them replied promptly. I just love them both so much but in the past, I thought they don't love me. Not that they hate me or what but just that it seems that they are always against me. We're always at loggerheads and whatever I do, I just seem unable to please them or make them proud of me. I've tried so hard and too hard until I gave up. I'm the prodigal daughter. It has been a constant battle which I chose to just back off, and leave them alone. . But now I know that's how they show their love. They're old skool. I'm their first born so it was their learning process too. My brothers and sisters fares better than me in that department but I guess that what makes who I am today. I have such a thick skin now hahaha... Generally I think I'm a well rounded and a good person, and I have to thank both my parents for that. Thank you so much mak and ayah for the lessons in life, for doing a good job as a parent and for the constant support that you've given me all this while even though I'm too blind (blame the hormones and the generation gap!) to see it. Sayang sangat both of you and sorry for all the sleep that you've lost over me! Sunday was Mother's Day. Had a quiet Sunday. No flowers, no cards, no greetings, nothing. Just a deafening silence. Precisely what I've expected and yet I still feel disappointed... Silly girl. Still pining for unrequited love. The problem is, it's still legally mine! But I can't get what's mine because it was given away to someone else without my knowledge. Need to get this crap out of my life. It's not healthy for me or the kids. Went to Woden's garage sale. Bought the kids 50 cents clothes, damn cheap and still new! Rosh wanted to buy a watch for AUD40 but when he checked it, the date couldn't function properly. So didn't buy it. Later went to Coles at Westfield to buy groceries. Met Kak Sal (Mej Junaidi's wife). Bought some more winter clothing for me. Had lunch at home then Rosh went straight to his college. Went to Corinne's house. Gave her the Mother's Day card and gift. She practically cried when she finished reading the card! She gave me a great big hug and both of us were crying! Brandon was giving us the 'look'. You know... the "why am I living with these mad ladies" look. I was so touched and glad that I made the effort. I made the card and gift myself and it doesn't cost much but it came from my heart. I'm glad that she understands how much she means to me. Went back home and on the way met Marion! She came back because the phone company didn't connect the phone line to her new house, so she had to come back here to use the phone since the reception in her new house is bad for hp's. Gave Marion her card and gift and the same thing happened! At least some people know how to show their appreciation! Called Ayah, sang him Happy Birthday song with Izz, SMS Mother's Day wishes to family and friends, later had dinner and off he goes to the Weston Club...
It's Monday and my brood is down with the flu! Last nite I had a killer migraine. I feel like crying cause the boys were sick and now I'm sick. My body ache and my head feels like it's going to burst at any time. Nobody to help me out here. How I wish I was back home in Malaysia, where I'll be surrounded with people who loves me. It's silly but I still hope that somehow or rather UKWho would at least show some concern for my well being if not for my feelings anymore. But he didn't and that's expected and yet I still feel sad... It's a vicious cycle and it's driving me nuts!! But thanks to somebody (sorry for the midnite call mate!) I managed to get through the nite. Both Aish and Izz had runny noses and were coughing badly early in the morning. I was lucky cause the migraine is gone and my leg is not as sore as before. Had a long soak in the hot tub and feeling much better. Marion dropped by to say hello. Natalya and Kai played with Izz and then Kye came over. They had so much fun playing with the car speed launcher. The DA's officer came over and handed in an invitation for a Get Together on the 15th at the Malaysian Embassy. Had black pepper crab for dinner and we went to our own separate world even though we stay in the same house. Just need to control my feelings and not let him get on my nerve. Looking forward for a better tomorrow and Mr. Sniffles Snuffles could you please just go away...? Pretty please, with sugar on top...

What Goes Around, Comes Around

What Goes Around... / ...Comes Around Interlude
FutureSex/LoveSound - 2006

Hey girl, is he everything you wanted in a man?
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you babe
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong

*Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?

+Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...

#What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around

Now girl, I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you were moving on now
And maybe I should do the same
Funny thing about that is
I was ready to give you my name
Thought it was me and you, babe
And now, it's all just a shame
And I guess I was wrong

Repeat *

Is this the way things are going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around

That you were going to make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find

Repeat #

Repeat *

Repeat +

Repeat #

[Comes Around interlude:]

Let me paint this picture for you, baby

You spend your nights alone
And he never comes home
And every time you call him
All you get's a busy tone
I heard you found out
That he's doing to you
What you did to me
Ain't that the way it goes

You cheated girl
My heart bleeds girl
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
Just a classic case
A scenario
Tale as old as time
Girl you got what you deserved

And now you want somebody
To cure the lonely nights
You wish you had somebody
That could come and make it right

But girl I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy
You'll see

Repeat #