Manic Monday

Sent SMS's to mak n ayah at 217am on Sunday morning. Stayed up late cause I wanted the to be first to wish Happy Birthday to ayah and Happy Mother's Day to mak. I thought they were asleep but guess I was wrong cause both of them replied promptly. I just love them both so much but in the past, I thought they don't love me. Not that they hate me or what but just that it seems that they are always against me. We're always at loggerheads and whatever I do, I just seem unable to please them or make them proud of me. I've tried so hard and too hard until I gave up. I'm the prodigal daughter. It has been a constant battle which I chose to just back off, and leave them alone. . But now I know that's how they show their love. They're old skool. I'm their first born so it was their learning process too. My brothers and sisters fares better than me in that department but I guess that what makes who I am today. I have such a thick skin now hahaha... Generally I think I'm a well rounded and a good person, and I have to thank both my parents for that. Thank you so much mak and ayah for the lessons in life, for doing a good job as a parent and for the constant support that you've given me all this while even though I'm too blind (blame the hormones and the generation gap!) to see it. Sayang sangat both of you and sorry for all the sleep that you've lost over me! Sunday was Mother's Day. Had a quiet Sunday. No flowers, no cards, no greetings, nothing. Just a deafening silence. Precisely what I've expected and yet I still feel disappointed... Silly girl. Still pining for unrequited love. The problem is, it's still legally mine! But I can't get what's mine because it was given away to someone else without my knowledge. Need to get this crap out of my life. It's not healthy for me or the kids. Went to Woden's garage sale. Bought the kids 50 cents clothes, damn cheap and still new! Rosh wanted to buy a watch for AUD40 but when he checked it, the date couldn't function properly. So didn't buy it. Later went to Coles at Westfield to buy groceries. Met Kak Sal (Mej Junaidi's wife). Bought some more winter clothing for me. Had lunch at home then Rosh went straight to his college. Went to Corinne's house. Gave her the Mother's Day card and gift. She practically cried when she finished reading the card! She gave me a great big hug and both of us were crying! Brandon was giving us the 'look'. You know... the "why am I living with these mad ladies" look. I was so touched and glad that I made the effort. I made the card and gift myself and it doesn't cost much but it came from my heart. I'm glad that she understands how much she means to me. Went back home and on the way met Marion! She came back because the phone company didn't connect the phone line to her new house, so she had to come back here to use the phone since the reception in her new house is bad for hp's. Gave Marion her card and gift and the same thing happened! At least some people know how to show their appreciation! Called Ayah, sang him Happy Birthday song with Izz, SMS Mother's Day wishes to family and friends, later had dinner and off he goes to the Weston Club...
It's Monday and my brood is down with the flu! Last nite I had a killer migraine. I feel like crying cause the boys were sick and now I'm sick. My body ache and my head feels like it's going to burst at any time. Nobody to help me out here. How I wish I was back home in Malaysia, where I'll be surrounded with people who loves me. It's silly but I still hope that somehow or rather UKWho would at least show some concern for my well being if not for my feelings anymore. But he didn't and that's expected and yet I still feel sad... It's a vicious cycle and it's driving me nuts!! But thanks to somebody (sorry for the midnite call mate!) I managed to get through the nite. Both Aish and Izz had runny noses and were coughing badly early in the morning. I was lucky cause the migraine is gone and my leg is not as sore as before. Had a long soak in the hot tub and feeling much better. Marion dropped by to say hello. Natalya and Kai played with Izz and then Kye came over. They had so much fun playing with the car speed launcher. The DA's officer came over and handed in an invitation for a Get Together on the 15th at the Malaysian Embassy. Had black pepper crab for dinner and we went to our own separate world even though we stay in the same house. Just need to control my feelings and not let him get on my nerve. Looking forward for a better tomorrow and Mr. Sniffles Snuffles could you please just go away...? Pretty please, with sugar on top...