The Fire Within

Had sausage,baked beans n toast for breakfast today. Did 2 rounds of washing. The sky looks promising today. I'm still nursing the anger that I felt yesterday when unnecessary words were hurled at Izz by u know who... I felt so freakin' mad 'cause I can't do anything about it. "Sabar je dulu..." consoled my dad. Luckily I still have my family by my side. Otherwise I might have ended up in jail earlier on for commiting henious crimes towards u know who (who will be known after this as UKWho). After venting my anger n frustrations to him, I felt a little tiny bit of relief. The anger that I have inside me is bubbling to the point that makes me want to commit bodily harm to UKWho (the aftermath of holding too much emotions and mental torture after a prolonged period of time). After pacing up and down n around the house, just to let loose some steam, I take Wudu' n lay myself open to god. Praying is just an act of faith. It doesn't mean that if u pray contentiously then you are a 'GOOD' person, able to redeem yourself n get an open ticket to heaven. It doesn't work that way 'cause it's too much of a cliche'. And too damn easy... Noo... it's much more profound than that. Otherwise we would be living in a perfect world. No anguish, poverty, violence, trangressions etc. Everyone would be happy and smiling all the time. I think the movie Matrix had it down to a pat. Humans can't function that way. Anyway, too much philosophy in one day... That's another Blog! Well, at 10am we went to the garage sale in Woden. Nothing much there, I think because of the weather lately so people don't want to risk the rain. Went to Southside Farmers Market, got some plums (they're so mouthwateringly yummy!!) veges, and back to Woden again, to buy groceries. Had to make it quick 'cause Rosh want to go to his college afterwards n do some work there. We had fish for lunch n somehow in between the fish n calamari, it started again. Now I believe he's willing to strike me if it's justified. Need to do some serious rethinking after this. I need a Plan B/C/D...!!! Left us inside so he can have a puff, n went back home. The temperature is rising n is just about to reach it's boiling point. I just zipped my mouth during the trip home n loaded the groceries in the pantry n fridge when we reached it. One tiny spark n I think it'll detonate... Big time! So we just do our own business n go our separate ways. Rosh went to his room n sleep. Changed his mind about going to his college I guess, well more stuff to blame me for...