Went to Spotlight http://spotlight.com.au/ in Queanbeyan last Monday with Marion. Izz n Aish tagged along. Kye and Natalya stayed at home with Craig 
as it was a public holiday - The Queen's Birthday. Nothing much to see during the holiday. They only had a fireworks show on Sunday nite and that was it. I asked Marion "So what happens during the Queen's Birthday?" "Uh... long weekends...?" Marion said they don't feel any allegiance towards the Queen. Hmmm... Anyway, Spotlight is a one stop shop for all your fabric, craft and home interiors supply. For me it's heaven. I went there to get supplies for Izz n Aish's upcoming birthday bash. Hohoho... big mistake! I end up buying other stuff too! A sushi maker and something that I've been looking for ages - a cupcake stand! Yeay! Finally! Isn't it gorgeous? Got him a Pinata', some party games, party favors, birthday banner, some transport themed tablecloths and decorations. I just love this place. Marion sent us home. That night, Rosh called from Jakarta. He said not to call him as his HP has no coverage in Indonesia. Right now he was calling me using a public phone. How thick did he think I am? As if Indonesia is on another planet!?? He asked about the kids and then said he got to go and get ready for dinner that nite. Ok, that was surreal.... I think the conversation lasted less than 2 minutes. I've heard Izz burped longer than that. Whatever.... The next day we went to Westfield Belconnen to go to Toys R Us. 
Izz wanted a Magnetix Spiderman3 Vehicle toy. Description - Be the Amazing Spider-Man - slip into the form of a timeless superhero with superhuman strength.Build your own magnetic hero and build him a vehicle to match. He saw the advertisement on TV and wanted one. I think it's an educational toy so I agreed to get him one. Bought something for Aish too. 
It's a Fisher-Price set of Learning Keys. That'll keep him busy in the aircraft on the way back home to Malaysia. I still feel my emotions is dragging me down. Although the atmosphere is calmer when he is away but the storm is still raging inside my heart. I don't know whether it's because I'm in denial (I still love him despite all the protest, curse and swearing) or because of my pent-up feelings. Or maybe it's just a simple case of loneliness. My brain is a mosh pit. The longer I stay here the more demented I'll be. I still burst into tears for no apparent reasons especially if I'm not doing anything. All these negative thoughts keep flooding my brain. I feel like I've lost a part of my soul and I can't retrieve it back no matter what I do. It's like there's a black hole right at the core of my being and it's sucking away all my energy. I can't feel happiness or joy. The only thing that I can do right now is to keep everything at bay, but I don't know how long I can keep it there. Ya Allah, show me mercy and give me strength. I don't want to end up being bitter and full of hatred. I don't want to end up sad and alone.... Dum spiro, spero (While I breathe, I hope - Cicero) Today I went to Westfield Woden with Ana. There was supposed to be a Mid Year sale at Big W but it was just a normal sale. Everything was marked down by AUD1-2 only. What a let down. Went to Angus & Coote Bookstore. Saw this book Positive Energy by Judith Orloff. The excerpt on the back cover of the book drew me. How do you know if you’ve encountered an energy vampire? “The tip-off is that even after a brief contact you leave feeling worse, but he or she seems more alive.” 
This is a different experience than just having “bad chemistry” with another person and not enjoying the interaction. When an energy vampire is present, you’ll feel depleted of energy and vitality afterwards.The ideas Dr. Orloff presents about energy vampires intrigues me, now I know why I feel drained most of the days... I've been living with a vampire.... Energy Vampire #1 is the Sob Sister. This person is a whiner, a perpetual victim, who loves a captive audience and can talk for hours about his problems. If you offer a solution, he gives a “Yes, but” answer that gives an excuse for why your solution won’t work in his case. Dr. Orloff says, “You might find yourself listening for hours, hearing the same complaints over and over. He ends up renewed. You’re exhausted.” Energy Vampire #2 is the Blamer. This person makes you feel guilty, berates you, and casts negativity into your energy field. He’s more overtly angry than the Sob Sister, and he uses accusation to drain you. Dr. Orloff says, “You walk away feeling knifed, that you haven’t lived up to expectations, are somehow defective.” One of the statements a Blamer might make is “If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be in this mess” or “It’s your fault that I’m on drugs.” It takes agility and planning to deflect a blamer’s tactics. Energy Vampire #3 is the Constant Talker or Joke-Teller. This person always demands center stage and has absolutely no interest in what you’re feeling. At first, he (or she) might seem entertaining, but you soon begin to fade after non-stop stories, jokes, and comments, and the incessant self-focus. According to Dr. Orloff, these energy vampires “grind our energy field down like a relentless yippy Chihuahua who badly needs a walk.” It’s impossible to sneak a word in edge-wise, and they love to trap you in conversation where it’s hard to break away. Energy Vampire #4 is the Fixer-Upper. There are two types. The second type of fixer-upper is, according to Dr. Orloff, “someone who you perceive needs an overhaul, and you take him on as a project.” What you don’t realize is that he isn’t really interested in changing. You may even put your life on hold to help him “realize his potential,” but in spite of all your efforts, it never happens. Ultimately, it’s up to you to set your priorities and then take the appropriate action to keep focused on your life goals and values. And that means protecting yourself from energy vampires so that you can have the energy you need to thrive. I prefer to put a stake to his heart. That will solve all of my problems. Wishful thinking Yani....
as it was a public holiday - The Queen's Birthday. Nothing much to see during the holiday. They only had a fireworks show on Sunday nite and that was it. I asked Marion "So what happens during the Queen's Birthday?" "Uh... long weekends...?" Marion said they don't feel any allegiance towards the Queen. Hmmm... Anyway, Spotlight is a one stop shop for all your fabric, craft and home interiors supply. For me it's heaven. I went there to get supplies for Izz n Aish's upcoming birthday bash. Hohoho... big mistake! I end up buying other stuff too! A sushi maker and something that I've been looking for ages - a cupcake stand! Yeay! Finally! Isn't it gorgeous? Got him a Pinata', some party games, party favors, birthday banner, some transport themed tablecloths and decorations. I just love this place. Marion sent us home. That night, Rosh called from Jakarta. He said not to call him as his HP has no coverage in Indonesia. Right now he was calling me using a public phone. How thick did he think I am? As if Indonesia is on another planet!?? He asked about the kids and then said he got to go and get ready for dinner that nite. Ok, that was surreal.... I think the conversation lasted less than 2 minutes. I've heard Izz burped longer than that. Whatever.... The next day we went to Westfield Belconnen to go to Toys R Us. 
Izz wanted a Magnetix Spiderman3 Vehicle toy. Description - Be the Amazing Spider-Man - slip into the form of a timeless superhero with superhuman strength.Build your own magnetic hero and build him a vehicle to match. He saw the advertisement on TV and wanted one. I think it's an educational toy so I agreed to get him one. Bought something for Aish too. 
It's a Fisher-Price set of Learning Keys. That'll keep him busy in the aircraft on the way back home to Malaysia. I still feel my emotions is dragging me down. Although the atmosphere is calmer when he is away but the storm is still raging inside my heart. I don't know whether it's because I'm in denial (I still love him despite all the protest, curse and swearing) or because of my pent-up feelings. Or maybe it's just a simple case of loneliness. My brain is a mosh pit. The longer I stay here the more demented I'll be. I still burst into tears for no apparent reasons especially if I'm not doing anything. All these negative thoughts keep flooding my brain. I feel like I've lost a part of my soul and I can't retrieve it back no matter what I do. It's like there's a black hole right at the core of my being and it's sucking away all my energy. I can't feel happiness or joy. The only thing that I can do right now is to keep everything at bay, but I don't know how long I can keep it there. Ya Allah, show me mercy and give me strength. I don't want to end up being bitter and full of hatred. I don't want to end up sad and alone.... Dum spiro, spero (While I breathe, I hope - Cicero) Today I went to Westfield Woden with Ana. There was supposed to be a Mid Year sale at Big W but it was just a normal sale. Everything was marked down by AUD1-2 only. What a let down. Went to Angus & Coote Bookstore. Saw this book Positive Energy by Judith Orloff. The excerpt on the back cover of the book drew me. How do you know if you’ve encountered an energy vampire? “The tip-off is that even after a brief contact you leave feeling worse, but he or she seems more alive.” This is a different experience than just having “bad chemistry” with another person and not enjoying the interaction. When an energy vampire is present, you’ll feel depleted of energy and vitality afterwards.The ideas Dr. Orloff presents about energy vampires intrigues me, now I know why I feel drained most of the days... I've been living with a vampire.... Energy Vampire #1 is the Sob Sister. This person is a whiner, a perpetual victim, who loves a captive audience and can talk for hours about his problems. If you offer a solution, he gives a “Yes, but” answer that gives an excuse for why your solution won’t work in his case. Dr. Orloff says, “You might find yourself listening for hours, hearing the same complaints over and over. He ends up renewed. You’re exhausted.” Energy Vampire #2 is the Blamer. This person makes you feel guilty, berates you, and casts negativity into your energy field. He’s more overtly angry than the Sob Sister, and he uses accusation to drain you. Dr. Orloff says, “You walk away feeling knifed, that you haven’t lived up to expectations, are somehow defective.” One of the statements a Blamer might make is “If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be in this mess” or “It’s your fault that I’m on drugs.” It takes agility and planning to deflect a blamer’s tactics. Energy Vampire #3 is the Constant Talker or Joke-Teller. This person always demands center stage and has absolutely no interest in what you’re feeling. At first, he (or she) might seem entertaining, but you soon begin to fade after non-stop stories, jokes, and comments, and the incessant self-focus. According to Dr. Orloff, these energy vampires “grind our energy field down like a relentless yippy Chihuahua who badly needs a walk.” It’s impossible to sneak a word in edge-wise, and they love to trap you in conversation where it’s hard to break away. Energy Vampire #4 is the Fixer-Upper. There are two types. The second type of fixer-upper is, according to Dr. Orloff, “someone who you perceive needs an overhaul, and you take him on as a project.” What you don’t realize is that he isn’t really interested in changing. You may even put your life on hold to help him “realize his potential,” but in spite of all your efforts, it never happens. Ultimately, it’s up to you to set your priorities and then take the appropriate action to keep focused on your life goals and values. And that means protecting yourself from energy vampires so that you can have the energy you need to thrive. I prefer to put a stake to his heart. That will solve all of my problems. Wishful thinking Yani.... 
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