If anything can go wrong, it will. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw
The hidden flaw never stays hidden for long.
Mother nature is a bitch.
Things get worse under pressure.
Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
Everything goes wrong all at once.
In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong.
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer than you think.
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Every solution breeds new problems.
The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.
no matter how perfect things are made to appear, Murphy's law will take effect and screw it up.
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
The greater the value of the rug, the greater the probability that the cat will throw up on it.
You will always find something in the last place you look.
If your looking for more than one thing, you'll find the most important one last.
It is never in the last place you look. It is in the first place you look, but never discovered on the first attempt.
After you bought a replacement for something you've lost and searched for everywhere, you'll find the original.
No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
The other line always moves faster.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.
If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.
If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you,the worse you know when this will happen,and vice-versa.
Whether things can go wrong or not, it depends on your frame of reference.
If you want something bad enough, chances are you won't get it.
If you think you are doing the right thing, chances are it will back-fire in your face.
When waiting for traffic, chances are that when one lane clears the other is congested.
Just when you think things cannot get any worse, they will.
Remember the "Boomer-rang" effect; Whatever you do will always come back.
If you re-act to actions, you've acted on actions.
He who angers you controls you, there-fore you have no control over your anger.
Any time you put an item in a "safe place", it will never be seen again.
Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.
The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.
No matter how hard you try, you cannot push a string.(getting everyone in the family to the car at the same time for example)
The fish are always biting....yesterday!
You will never leave a parking space without someone in an adjacent space leaving at the same time.
The cost of the hair do is directly related to the strength of the wind.
Great ideas are never remembered and dumb statements are never forgotten.
The clothes washer/dryer will only eat one of each pair of socks.
When you see light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel will cave in.
Being dead right, won't make you any less dead.andHaving the right of way, won't make you any less dead.
Whatever you want, you can't have, what you can have, you don't want.
Whatever you want to do, is Not possible, what ever is possible for you to do, you don't want to do it.
Traffic is inversely proportional to how late you are, or are going to be.
The complexity and frustration factor is inversely proportional to how much time you have left to finish, and how important it is.
The probability of being observed is in direct proportion to the stupidity of ones action
If you go to bed with an itchy ass, you wake up with smelly fingers.
A knowledge of Murphy's Law is no help in any situation.
If you apply Murphy's Law, it will no longer be applicable.
If you say something, and stake your reputation on it, you will lose your reputation.
no matter where I go, there I am
Where patience fails, force prevails.
Any thing that can go wrong, HAS Already Gone Wrong!You just haven't been notified.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..."
If authority was mass, stupidity would be gravity.
All good things come to those who wait...but , don't wait too long or they will pass you by...like 2 ships that pass in the night...never again to return that same exact site.
If anything was worth doing, it would've already been done.
Those who know the least will always know it the loudest.
No degree of acceptance can ever change the facts.Translation: You may come to terms with being screwed, but nevertheless you're still screwed.
Things always go from bad to worse.
Beauty is only skin deep, fashion even shallower.
An expert is someone with an opinion and a word processor.
All pornography is air-brushed or computer-enhanced.
A person without values or standards can never be a hypocrite.
"We can give you a diploma, but we can't give you a brain."
The more space you have, the more junk you'll have.
Things are never as good as they are bad.
Chaos always wins, because it's better organized.
When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.
If at first you don't succeed destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
If all else fails, hit it with a big hammer.
When something goes wrong, you cannot find the solution in the instruction booklet, but someone else always does.
Everything in life is important, important things are simple, simple things are never easy.Think about it, complete the circle.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds,the pessimist fears this is true.
You will find an easy way to do it, after you've finished doing it.
The wind will always blow opposite to your hairdo.
Wind velocity increases directly with the cost of the hairdo.
The probability of the toast landing peanut-butter-side-down is directly proportionate to the cost of the carpeting.
Anyone who isn't paranoid simply isn't paying attention.
Two heads are better than one, even if one is a sheep head.
The probability of rain is inversely proportional to the size of the umbrella you carry around with you all day.
No matter how hard you try, every once in a while, something is going right.
Behind every little problem there's a larger problem, waiting for the little problem to get out of the way.
When you really need something, its either not available, or can't be found. When you don't need it, its either available, or lays around in plain sight.
Whenever you cut your finger nails, you find a need for them an hour later.
In order for something to get clean, something else must get dirty.Conclusion to the Law of Conservation of Filth:It is possible for everything to get dirty and nothing to get clean.
The file you are looking for is always at the bottom of the largest pile.
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
Common Sense Is Not So Common
Power Is Taken... Not Given
Two wrongs don't make a right. It usually takes three or four.
If the truth is in your favor no one will believe you.When things go from bad to worse, the cycle repeats.
Laws are like a spider web, in that it snares the poor and weak while the rich and powerful brake them.
Key to happiness is to be O.K. with not being O.K.
The two most abundant things in all the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Stupidity is the fundamental driving force of the Universe, which explains why stupid people always go wrong.
Every rule has an exception except the Rule of Exceptions.
If your action has a 50% possibility of being correct, you will be wrong 75% of the time.
If you plan for something to go wrong, and it doesn't go wrong, it would have been ultimately profitable for it to go wrong.
The difference between Stupidity and Genius is that Genius has its limits.
The universe is great enough for all possibilities to exist.
Those who don't take decisions never make mistakes.
The only price you pay for greatness is knowing that it can't last forever.
Anything that cant possible in a million years go wrong, will go wrong.
Anything that seems right, is putting you into a false sense of security.
If everything seems great, its already gone wrong.
The only time you're right, is when its about being wrong.
The only times something's right, is when everyone agrees its wrong.
much more Eviler=Evil+Giler than the Dark Lord himself) or Darth Vader. Both of them never pretend that they're one of the good guys unlike UKWho always try to project a Mr. Clean image and hide behind religion (like someone we all know...). If only you know what he did and still trying to do to me and my kids (can't reveal here for legal reasons) you would agree with me. I'm almost scared to think of what other Machiavellian and evil plans he had planned for me, but bring it on! As I believe God is Great and what goes around comes around and just wait for the payment that is due to you... including the compounded interests... 
much more Eviler=Evil+Giler than the Dark Lord himself) or Darth Vader. Both of them never pretend that they're one of the good guys unlike UKWho always try to project a Mr. Clean image and hide behind religion (like someone we all know...). If only you know what he did and still trying to do to me and my kids (can't reveal here for legal reasons) you would agree with me. I'm almost scared to think of what other Machiavellian and evil plans he had planned for me, but bring it on! As I believe God is Great and what goes around comes around and just wait for the payment that is due to you... including the compounded interests... 
This is a different experience than just having “bad chemistry” with another person and not enjoying the interaction. When an energy vampire is present, you’ll feel depleted of energy and vitality afterwards.
